Chapter 118 - Dhampir Knight

Theora's thoughts about that letter plagued her for more than a single night. In fact, she thought about it a lot, and the more she did, the more she realized there were so many things she wasn't sure of. What would she write? Where to start? How did one address a biological father she'd never met? Father? Sir? My lord? Also, was it safe for her to write to her biological father? What if her letter was intercepted? How could she write to the father she had never met and yet hide who she was to him just in case the letter fell in the wrong hands? It was such a headache that for the next couple of days, she was utterly unsure of how to get around it, until she shared her issue with Lylesia one night while they were in the training hall with Kleis and Heliria. The girls had decided to spar, since for once they'd had more practical classes than ones that gave them homework.

"You still haven't written anything?" Lylesia chuckled.

Theora shook her head, pretending to be too out of breath to answer. She and Lylesia were seated on a bench, taking a break and drinking water, whispering while watching their peers finish their own duel.

"What's stopping you?"

"I can't get into it," Theora admitted. "I've tried sitting at the desk several times, and even when I manage to focus, I can't decide what to write. How to address him, both for safety and to not make it weird. I don't know what to say, where to start. That man has missed almost twenty years of my existence... How do you even start with that?"

"...I can imagine," Lylesia finally said. "Alright, how about you look at the issue differently. What would you want him to write to you?"

Theora blinked, and took a few seconds to genuinely think about it.

"About my mom, to be honest," she realized. "At least about who he was with her. I don't know him, but I know my mom, and I'm curious about the part of her he knew that I didn't."

"How about that, then," Lylesia smiled. "Your mom is the one thing you and that man have in common, after all. You could start by telling him about her, about the woman you knew... And ask him about her. This way you don't need to mention your relationship, just your mom. You told me she had a fake name, right? You could use it in your letter, that way it won't be strange at all. I'm sure your father will understand who you are just from mentioning her and your name. What do you think?"

Theora thought about it, and the more she did, the more it made sense. Eventually, she gave Lylesia a slow nod, although it was followed by a frown.

"What is it?" Lylesia pressed her.

"I'm nervous," Theora shrugged. “Every time I think about writing that letter, it's like I'm waiting for a letter from the guild again. I'm literally worrying myself sick. It's going to be a miracle if I can send this letter without puking from nerves."

"How about you write it first," her friend chuckled, patting her shoulder. "Then you can decide if you even want to send it or not. Then you could give it to me, and I'll mail it without telling you when, if it’ll take your mind off it."

"No chance," Theora sighed, getting back up. "But thanks for offering. Care for one more duel? That should help take my mind off it."

"Only if you promise you'll try to write when we get back," Lylesia taunted her.

Theora did. She won their last duel despite being very much distracted, and she even sparred with Kleis in the little time they had left, although they stopped fighting in time to return for their curfew. Once there, Lylesia sent the twins to the shower, and pointed to their desk, with a clear meaning. Trying her best, Theora only replied with a nod, but finally sat down, using her own flowery paper, and for the fifth or sixth time this week, she faced the blank sheet and the feeling of dread. This time, however, she forced herself to put her pen to the paper, and write the first sentences.

"Dear Duke,

My name is Theora Skyler. We have never met, but you knew my mother, Anniela, although she had a different name before she remarried. I think she lived in your manor for a while before she was pregnant with me and left. I'm nineteen years old now, and I lost my mother ten years ago. I miss her, and I was hoping that, if you miss her too, we could tell each other about her."

Theora forced herself to stop, breath in, and re-read her sentences. It seemed a bit cold to her, but the tone felt about right to talk to her biological father, not too familiarly to expose herself, and yet just enough that he could understand who she was. Even if her father found it strange, she hoped he would understand. Maybe her tone sounded a bit childish, but she had never been a great writer. Her forte was drawings and schematics. After a few seconds and a quick re-read, she resumed writing, trying to describe the best mother she had known for ten years. It felt strange for Theora to realize she'd only had ten years with her mom, someone who still held such a large presence in her life. Soon, she would reach an age where she had spent more years without her mother than with her, and that realization felt painful. At least, it fueled her desire to hear about the mother she hadn't known, the woman Astoria had been before she had become 'Anniela'. Deciding not to put too much in a decisive first letter, Theora simply wrote a description of her mother's features, her personality, and a few various memories she had of her, hoping the Duke would definitely recognize his wife in those. His third wife, she remembered. Had her parents really loved each other? Had her father loved another of his wives more? Had her parents' marriage only been for show? She couldn't imagine her mom having a baby with a man she couldn't stand, so it was probably not too bad of a marriage, and the newspaper her cousin had found said the same thing, too. Regardless, Theora found writing about her mom to be somewhat therapeutic. It was as if, for a short while, she allowed herself to live through the memory of her mom, of her childhood with her, of the happy days before she had passed. It hit her then how much she had missed her mom. Her father, Hamel, hadn't been willing to speak about his wife much, except on the anniversary of her death, as if the loss was still too raw. Quil, too, became stiff and closed off anytime Theora had tried asking, so she had stopped. She had only talked about her mom with Danell and Merigold after that, but it didn't feel the same as talking about her mom and the memories she had of her. The more she wrote, the more Theora hoped she would hear back from her father. She wondered if it was selfish of her to hope that the man that had been waiting to hear about his very much alive estranged child would be willing to talk about the dead wife that had left him, but Theora didn't want to feel sorry about it anymore. It was her mom, and she missed her. She didn't want to be sorry about missing her any longer. Moreover, it wasn't like she was talking about only her mother; through her letter and her point of view, Theora was telling her dad about herself. The memory of how she had stubbornly been eating every mushroom she found rather than admitting she couldn't recognize them and how sick she'd been and how much her mom had scolded her made her smile, and she hoped her biological father would find it funny too. Theora hadn't meant to write so much, but a dam had been opened, and she ended up writing all about her childhood, about Wordin Valley, about Danell and his family, about Dandan, about everyone she had grown up with.

"Theora?" Lylesia gently patted her shoulder. "I'm glad you've made some progress, but you should go to bed."

Theora nodded at her friend, but gathered up her letter, put the candle on her bedside table to re-read in bed, and decided, right then and there, that this was just a first draft. This way, she could trim some of it, be less sorry about what she'd send, and she'd have room to add some details or change her mind. Regardless of how he responded to it, this would be the first letter she would send her biological father and a part of her thought it was somewhat important. She even decided she'd ask Lylesia to help her check for any spelling mistakes; Theora knew she was a poor writer, and while her cousins let her get away with it, she didn't want her biological father to think she hadn't been educated properly because she let one mistake slip.

Thankfully, Theora finished her letter the following evening, which was actually their last day before they left for their new missions the following morning. She was part of those who'd take the train, so she had to wake up extra early with Kleis, Selvie and Lylesia, who also had to take the train but would change destinations later. She felt a bit sad to leave Mischief behind; she had hoped to be able to meet Orion and thank him for sending the horse to her, so it was a bit disappointing when Chevin told her Mischief wasn't scheduled to go to the Capital with her this time. Still, she finished her letter, and, as they had agreed, she gave it to Lylesia the next morning.

"Post it whenever, from wherever," Theora said with a nervous voice.

"Are you sure?" Lylesia smiled. "I could just send it from the Academy; he would receive it before we're back."

"Whatever you do, just... Please don't let me know," Theora grimaced. "I think the less I know, the better."

"Got it," her friend smiled, pocketing the letter while they left for an early breakfast with everyone.

They were all pressed for time, and most of the teams ate quickly, Theora's group heading out to not miss the train as it was about to leave. She was excited to be back in the Capital but also nervous to know Reylan might be on the same train and would be showing her something about vampires she might have never wanted to know. But Theora pushed the thought away and sat with her friends in the compartment, chatting about the homework they'd left behind and the missions ahead. Heliria's brothers had mentioned there would be guild fairs taking place at the same time they would be back, and Theora hoped she would have time to attend the Engineers' Guild Fair. Her dream had taken a step back while she had to focus on her daily classes and assignments, but she sure wasn't forgetting it, and she certainly missed building something with her own hands. Perhaps she would find some inspiration while in the Capital, and even find the desire to create or sketch something again.

The journey took a while, and while everyone had been quite excited to get to the Capital, the trip was rather silent; there were multiple stops to drop off the trainees who were off to missions in different parts of the kingdom and those who didn't have to worry about missing their stop napped to make up for the short night. Finally, the train stopped at the Capital's central station, and everyone got off, helping grab the supplies, following the older trainees to the Military Hall for a briefing. Theora had told her cousins she wasn't sure when her train would arrive so they shouldn't wait for her, as she wouldn't be allowed to greet them at the station, yet she still found herself glancing around, hoping to catch a glimpse of brown curls. They weren't there, sadly, but anyhow, she had promised to pop by the house as soon as she could. Therefore, she followed their little crowd of trainees of all levels to the Military Hall. Much to her happiness, she had found out that on top of being on the same mission as Kleis and Selvie and among the trainees she knew, she was with Themid, Elexei, Charle, and Keffen from Brigade Three, Red the Cloud trainee, and even better, Darim was going to be her mission leader again. This was a B-rank Mission, but many of the higher-ranked trainees had jumped on an opportunity to go to the Capital, and this one had more people, too. Though there were only seven White-ranks, while they sat for their briefing in one of the dedicated meeting rooms, Theora counted five Fogs and four Clouds, making her curious about this mission.

"Hi everyone," Darim greeted them, rubbing his bald head with a hand. "Glad to see some familiar faces here, I hope you're ready. As you all know, this mission was ranked B, but due to being a bodyguard mission, you weren't allowed to know the identity of our 'mark', in other words, our protegee for the upcoming week, until we arrived in the Capital, for secrecy reasons. So I'll break it to you now: we will be guarding Lady Venilla De Boreal, the daughter of the Duke De Boreal."

"A young Duchess?" one of the Fogs queried, sounding impressed. "Is that a mission for the Academy?"

"The mark is young," Darim explained. "She's also second in line, as the younger sister of the young Duke who is currently taking over from their father and will most likely have children long before she becomes an adult, so she's a lesser target. High-ranked noble families will sometimes require the Academy to help them guard their nobles when they are experiencing changes, to be sure that another influential family figure doesn't use their own knights to kidnap a vulnerable heir. The Academy basically guarantees that we are reliable but fully neutral, as opposed to hired mercenaries that could easily be bought."

Theora was even more excited about the upcoming mission than before. She was going to work at House De Boreal, near Orion, and she couldn't wait to start.