Chapter 3

Jordan’s POV

I clasped my hands against my cup of coffee and grimaced at my best friend who was currently sitting opposite me in a cafe across where he lives. I had driven over to his apartment right from work because I really needed to talk to someone about the shocking thing I just found out about last night, and that person was no other person than Michael.

Michael popped a fry into his mouth before placing his elbows on the table and leaning forward before asking, “Are you for real right now?”

I rolled my eyes and took a small sip from my coffee and replied, “Why would I joke about something this serious? Of course, I’m for real.”

“Then that’s really coincidental, like really, really coincidental.” Michael mused and I nodded my head along with him.

“I never saw it coming, Mickey. I swear I never thought I was ever going to come across him, like ever. I mean, I didn’t even see him the next morning, so I thought for once the universe was being nice to me by saving me from having an awkward moment with someone who had given me the best orgasm of my life.” I paused and took a deep breath before leaning more into the table like Michael currently was before continuing, “But I was wrong. The universe hates me, and this is just proof. I mean, I couldn’t even look him in the eye without feeling really bad, I know he’d have been really feeling bad since he had fucked his brother’s fiancé.”

I popped a few chips into my mouth and crunched them before washing it down with my coffee, after a few seconds, I started to say again, “I couldn’t even look Derek in the eyes properly, Mickey. He wanted me to spend the night in his house last night, but I just couldn’t bring myself to have sex with him without feeling guilty, so I lied to him that I was too tired and also that I had a busy day this morning.”

“It’s not like your fiancé isn’t bad himself. He should feel guilty about having sex with you in the same bed you caught him fucking someone else in,” Michael started to say, and I sighed loudly. I knew Michael was going to bring that day up.

“C’mon Michael, this is totally different, this is his younger brother for fuck’s sake. And did I tell you that his younger brother is four years younger than I am? I thought he was years older than I was, I’ve never ever been attracted to younger men before, I swear.

“Alright, well maybe it’s a little bit different, we both know it isn’t all that different. I mean, you didn’t purposely pick his younger brother, did you? You had no idea in the first place. And age doesn’t really matter when it comes to whom your body wants, so far you’re both legal and are both into it.” Michael answered and I puffed out a small breath, it really was different, way different.

“I don’t even know what to do. What do I do, Michael?”

“Let’s start with what you feel should be done first,” Michael started to say, and I rolled my eyes while chewing on a chip.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know what to do!”

“So do you want to tell your fiancé the truth that you mistakenly had sex with his brother because you were mad at him and wanted to satisfy your own craving of being on the same ground as him?” Michael said without breaking eye contact with me and I blinked at him a few times before shaking my head slowly, I couldn’t even imagine myself telling all these to Derek.

“No, anything but that. He might think I’ve been doing this before with different men and might decide to call of the wedding.”

“That’s settled then, I never wanted you to marry him anyways.” Michael said with a small shrug. I hit his hand lightly with mine immediately, “C’mon, that’s so rude, Michael! You said you were going to support my marriage to Derek because my happiness is all that matters to you, wasn’t that what you said?”

“Of course, that’s all I said, and I meant every word. But is he making you happy? Are you really happy with him?”

I nodded my head immediately, “He’s trying his very best, he says so himself, and I really am happy with him.”

I didn’t miss the way Michael rolled his eyes before taking a sip from the sprite before him, he really disliked my fiancé for no reasonable reason, except that he wasn’t good enough.

“Then you don’t tell him a thing, we’re just going to put all these behind us. You’re also going to try to stop feeling guilty each time you think about it, you didn’t do it on purpose so it’s definitely not your fault, yeah?”

“But what if Oliver tells his big brother that he saw me in a gay club and that we hooked up—a hook up that I initiated. I’m sure Oliver’s thinking that I cheated on his older brother, not knowing that I was actually getting a twisted kind of revenge that night.” I paused and pushed my hair out of my face before quietly adding.

“I swear everything is just so fucked up.”

“That’s a different angle of things right now.” Michael mused and I sank lower into my chair, feeling extremely emotionally drained.

“Do you think explaining things to Oliver himself would help? That way I’d have spoken to him before he gets the chance to tell his big brother a thing,” I tabled my thoughts immediately and Michael started to nod his head in agreement before pausing and raising his hand up.

“What if he has already spoken to his brother?”

I shook my head immediately, “No, I believe he haven’t. Assuming he had, I’d have been bombarded with call and texts from Derek the moments he finds out, Derek is the kind of person to act immediately without thinking them through on most occasions.”

“Oh. That’s great then! I just hope Oliver wouldn’t go to Derek with everything you say to him after you’ve done talking with him, he’s twenty-one, right?”

“No, I don’t think he’s that kind of person. He barely talks unless necessary, so I highly doubt he’d do something like that. And besides, he might be twenty-one but the way he acts doesn’t align with his age one bit.” I paused before leaning into the table once again, “Take for example when we both had sex, I could have sworn that he was at least three years older than I am. I mean, the way he took complete control of my body and everything else, including my orgasms... it was really crazy.”

I sat up immediately once I realized what it was that I was saying.

“Oh my gosh, forget everything I said just now, I shouldn’t even be thinking about that night anymore but for some stupid reason, that night is hell bent on never leaving my head.”

“You’ve got it bad, best friend. Really, really bad.” Michael finally said with a stupid grin which made me slump more into my seat, feeling emotionally weaker than I was minutes ago.

***

It’s been three days since the family dinner at Derek’s parents’ house. Derek and I had conversed through texts and calls a few times. Work has been really hectic for the both of us, but we agreed to have dinner tonight at his favorite Spanish resort.

I took extra time dressing up tonight, not because I wanted to look good for my fiancé, although that was one of the reasons, the other reason was because I wanted to look good for myself. I ran my comb through my wet hair and contemplated whether I should curl and color my hair, or if I should braid it.

I returned my comb back to its previous position and slipped my sliver studs into the upper holes of each ear. I had two holes pierced in both ears and usually wore earrings in both at the same time. I picked up my silver dangling earrings and slipped them into the lower holes before picking up my bottle of body spray and spraying myself to satisfaction.

I stood in front of the floor length mirror in my room and smiled at my reflection. Damn! I looked good.

I was a whole meal.

Amen.

I picked up my phone and wallet, ensuring that my card was still in it before heading out of the house and locking the door behind me. Unlike Derek’s apartment which was directly on the floor, mine was on the third floor in a ten-story building.

I took the first elevator and was on the first floor in no time, heading into my car, I started the engine and drove out of the compound towards the Spanish resort, Derek and I agreed to meet right there since he was going to be going there straight from work.

I connected my phone’s Bluetooth to the car with my voice and started humming along to BTS, a K-pop boyband, as I stopped a few times due to traffic until I got to my destination.

I packed my car in the assigned spot and alighted before handing the keys to the valet and making my way into the resort. I already spotted Derek’s car parked a few cars before mine, which meant he was here already. I just hoped he haven’t been waiting long.

I got into the restaurant and glanced around the tables. It didn’t take me long to sight Derek in a table close to the windows. I made my way towards his table and stopped beside it. He glanced up from his phone on feeling a presence beside him and smiled up at me. I grinned down at him and quickly sat in the seat beside his. He put his phone away and stretched his hand out to run it through my hair.

I felt myself visibly relax feeling his fingers slid through the tresses of my hair, it has already become a habit of his and I wasn’t complaining. Clearly, I had become used to him caressing my hair due to us being together for over two years and him doing this same thing to me every time we’ve met up from the moment we met till this very moment.

“I missed you so much, love,” he said with a small smile, and I grinned at him wildly, feeling color start to fill my cheeks and my heart beat start to quicken.

God, I love Derek so much.

“I missed you too.” I replied and laughed when he shook his head like he always does each time I say the words back to him.

“Clearly not as much as I missed you.”

I rolled my eyes at his cheesy smile even though the stupid smile on my face seemed to be somehow stuck since the moment I set eyes on Derek tonight.

We placed in our orders to a cute waiter who first of all brought us a bottle of wine as requested. The waiter filled up our glasses before excusing himself. I picked up my glass and downed the drink in one go before picking up the bottle of wine and refilling my cup.

I have a weird craving for wine these days.

“Slow down, Jordan. I don’t want you choking on it today like you did on Sunday, remember?” Derek reminded me, referring to the moment where I had choked on the champagne, although he didn’t know it was because I had suddenly seen his younger brother looking at me.

“Oh relax, will you. I was just a bit carried away that day, I’m definitely not going to choke on my drink tonight.” I replied with a small laugh before downing my second glass and gently placing the empty glass beside the cold bottle of wine. I glanced up at Derek and noted how rumpled his shirt looked, his sleeves were also folded up to beneath his elbows.

I didn’t want to start thinking about whether he was indeed busy at his office until this evening or if he had been busy fucking another twink... or it could be the same one I found in his bed weeks ago.

Nope, nope, not thinking about this tonight.

He might have been truly working in his office like he claimed to which means I might just be overthinking for nothing, but I just couldn’t help but still have doubts.

“You look so good tonight, love.” Derek said, pulling me out of my thoughts right back to the moment. I smiled at him and mumbled a thank you before refilling my glass and raising the glass to my mouth to sip the wine slowly, hell bent on savoring the grape flavor.

Our food arrived and we dug in, talking about work and every other thing we could think of until we were done eating.

“Derek?” I called out slowly while twirling my empty glass between my fingers on the table.

“Yeah babe?” He asked.

“I was wondering if you could give me your brother’s contact line?”

He glanced at me for a few seconds without saying a thing at first before saying, “He’s straight though, but of course I’d give it to you.”

I blinked at him in horror. “What? No! I wasn’t asking for it because of that, I’d never do that! I mean—" I started to say immediately but Derek only chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair before saying.

“Aw baby, I was just joking. I know you’d never do something like that to me.”

I sucked in a relived breath before nodding my head at him, “Damn right, I wouldn’t.”

“I’ll send it to you once I get home tonight.” Derek replied and nodded my head in agreement. We signaled for the waiter to come forward and I handed him my card before Derek could whip out his.

“Aw c’mon, babe. It’s on me!” Derek argued immediately but I only rolled my eyes and ignored him until the waiter returned with my card, I revived a notification of the money debited immediately but I didn’t bother checking it. Instead, I stood up along with Derek and we made our way outside.

We got into our various cars and drove towards Derek’s house since mine was a lot further than Derek’s. We tried our best not to lose each other but the traffic was way tighter than it was a few hours ago, which resulted in me getting to Derek’s house first before he finally pulled up beside me, some minutes later.

I was leaning against my car when he got out of his and walked towards me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he closed the distance between us and slid his hands around my waist and over my ribs, he caressed my hands and slid his touch up until he was cupping my face in his palms. My eyes slid shut when his lips lightly grazed mine, he deepened the kiss and I let him in immediately, parting my lips for him even though the kiss wasn’t making me feel a thing.

Maybe it was because of I still had a little doubt in my mind concerning him.

Maybe it was also because I still felt a pang of guilt every time we kissed...

He slid his hands down my back and squeezed my ass slowly, I felt my dick pulse in my pants before my mind could even register the fact that I was still indeed responding to his touch, except the fact that my mind wasn’t invested in it like it should.

“Spend the night?” Derek murmured against my lips, and I shook my head slowly before taking a step away from him. He was about to step away from me, but I grabbed his wrist before he could move away and lifted on my toe to drop a kiss on his jaw since I was really short compared to him, he bent his head at the last second and our lips brushed lightly for a few seconds.

Ever since the moment I caught him cheating on me, we’ve only kissed a few times, nothing more. And I haven’t stepped foot into his house since then. He had invited me over a few times, but I had declined immediately and since he knew why I was avoiding going into his house, he hasn’t ever pushed it. He has spent a few nights in my apartment, but we’ve done nothing but kissed and cuddled on those days.

I guess he was already getting tired of not having sex for weeks, unlike me who isn’t since I knew the sex was going to be as boring as it used to be before.

“I didn’t plan to spend the night, maybe you could come over on Friday?” I purposed and watched as he nodded immediately.

He combed his fingers through my hair and leaned down to drop a kiss on the strands before pulling me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent of cologne before finally pulling away. He dropped a kiss on my head before I could pull away completely, “I love you.”

“I love you.” I whispered loudly into his chest.

*******

I stared at the number Derek sent to me through iMessage a few minutes ago. I had driven myself home, taken a shower, replied some texts and ignored the rest. I was already about to head to YouTube when I got a notification from Derek, on opening the text, I saw that it wasn’t a text after all but his younger brother’s number which I had asked for this evening while having dinner together.

I thanked him for the number, and he replied immediately. We exchanged a few more texts before he said he was too tired to keep his eyes open anymore.

I contemplated texting him tonight or leaving it for tomorrow for a few minutes before finally deciding to text him tonight so I could get it done and over with.

I sent him a text on WhatsApp and chewed on my lower lip for a few seconds as I waited to see if I’d get a reply immediately, or later, or never because he might not reply to unknown numbers.

I closed my WhatsApp and headed over to YouTube when I didn’t get any reply whatsoever from him. I plugged in my AirPods and picked out the ASMR audio I was going to listen to tonight before sleeping.

The ‘Autonomous sensory meridian response’ audio I was obsessed with listening to were the ones featuring guys moaning and whimpering while doing something sexual. But unlike porn where you get to see everything graphically, you only got to listen to everything they did without seeing it.

I was already getting lost in what I was listening to while following through some time stamps some people had left in the comment section when I got a notification from WhatsApp from an unknown number.

I ignored it since I hated replying to unknown numbers because majority of those unknown users consists of people who probably got my number from a group chat and felt like coming into my DMs to try out their luck of asking me out. While some creepy ones do nothing but ask for nudes immediately, like I’m that dumb to send my nudes to a total stranger.

Just as I was about to close my eyes and totally lose myself to the heavenly audio that was drifting into my ears and starting to make my dick harden, I remembered that I had texted Oliver a few minutes ago, and that he might be the one that replied to my message.

I quickly paused the audio on YouTube and minimized my screen until I was in WhatsApp in the next second. Alas, the notification I got back then was from Oliver. I clicked on it immediately and read the two messages he left three minutes ago.

Oliver: Hello there Oliver: What’s up with you?

I wondered why he didn’t ask whom I was immediately for a few seconds before typing fast since he was still online.

Jordan: I’m sorry I didn’t include this in the previous text, It’s Jordan.

A few seconds later and he was typing a reply to my text.

Oliver: I know it’s you. I saw your profile picture immediately. Also, it’s fine :)

I bit on my lips and imagined what must have gone through his mind when he was looking at my profile picture. The picture I had used was one of me wearing a black crop top and a black tiny choker on my neck. The picture was just from my waist upwards where my hair had been in curls back then.

Jordan: Oh, I forgot :(

Jordan: So, I was wondering if we could meet up and talk? Preferably in the evening since we’d both be busy in the morning...

Jordan: It’s kind of important.

I sent the text immediately and waited for him to reply, which he did in two minutes time.

Oliver: Sure, my place?

I bit my lip and shook my head at my phone. That was a really bad idea and definitely won’t do my brain any good since I’ve been trying hard to forget everything that had gone down in his house to no avail.

Nope, nope.

I thought to myself while typing in the complete opposite in my reply.

Jordan: Sounds good. Let’s say 8:00 p.m.?

Oliver: Sure.

I didn’t bother replying anymore and instead buried my head into my pillow and screamed into it for a few seconds.

Don’t fret, nothing’s going to happen.

You’re not going to throw yourself at him, because you have class, and because it’s wrong.

You’re only going there to speak with him like normal adults who would soon be related in a month time.

You’re not even attracted to him, remember?

That night was definitely a mistake and never happening again.

Those thoughts floated through my brain until I drifted off to sleep, my ASMR audio forgotten.