Chapter 20 — Sometimes making the right choice is not easy

Azazel:

We’ve all departed from hell and are now standing in my temporary living area as reluctant allies. Fallon and I are standing side by side with our arms crossed expectantly. And Zoe is sitting huddled on my couch with her arms wrapped around her chest protectively. Lucifer, that arrogant arsehole, is leaning casually on the mantle of my marble fireplace. The bastard looks around bored as if he has not a care in the world. I had never felt such a surge of hatred as I do this moment. I want to rip his bloody wings into ribbons and watch him bleed until I’m satisfied.

Fallon clears his throat and uncrosses his arms. “Shall we begin then?” Zoe flinches but remains where she is. Fallon looks over at me expectantly and waits for me to explain. Taking a deep breath, I move towards Zoe and kneel down before her to rest a gentle hand on her warm thigh. “I just want you to know, Zoe, that I will never hurt you. You are the other half of my soul. I can see by the confused look in your eyes that you don’t know what I’m saying, but in time you will understand what that means.” Zoe licks her luscious lips and nods her head. “Fine then, you can begin by telling me what is going on.” She orders firmly.

I chuckle at her false bravado and rise from my perch to begin my story. “Several years ago, an angel betrayed the Council and nearly destroyed it until a friend of mine, Mathias, stopped him. Unfortunately, the man had an accomplice. Her name is Marael. She was a witch who was killed and resurrected for nefarious purposes. The problem was that Marael lost her magic the day she died. Since then, she has made it her mission to kill her coven and set a plan to regain her powers.”

I stop for a moment to let them absorb my words. But no one says a word. Lucifer simply raises an impatient eyebrow and exhales deeply. Zoe, however, reminds me of a child with the way she sits there and listens attentively. I unclasp my hands and run them through my hair, agitated. “Do you remember all of the murdered girls that were in the news a few months ago?” Zoe frowns in thought, and Lucifer simply shrugs indifferently. Zoe responds, “Yeah. The ones who were killed by a serial killer in a church.” I scoff at the thought of how humans classified the girls’ deaths. Humans can be so oblivious to our kind.

“So the humans say. The truth is—the girls were part of a sacrificial ritual to bring hell on earth. Marael needed power, and the only way she could do it was by sacrificing six girls with different powers. But for her to do that, she needed a siphon to control the power; she was consuming. She also needed a conspirator. A guardian who would find her sacrifices and help her complete the rituals. Several months ago, we were able to stop her from killing the last girl. Fortunately, we were also able to incapacitate her accomplice’s power and weaken her in the process. Which means it will take her a while to get back her full power. Unfortunately for us, though, she can regenerate her stolen magic because she still has her siphon. Once she does, she can sacrifice the last girl and complete the ritual.”

Zoe’s frowns in bewilderment. “So what are you supposed to be doing? And what does this have to do with me?” My nostrils flare as I try to contemplate what to say next. I mean, how do you tell the woman you’re meant to be with that you have to kill her because she might be the instrument used to bring forth the end of the world? “I’m here to find Marael. And according to Mathias, Sahara was a close acquaintance of Marael’s. We believe that Sahara is helping her restore the power she lost.”

Zoe leans forward with an intrigued pout. “Does that mean that Sahara is the siphon?” Fallon shakes his head. “No, according to our sources, Sahara is not the Siphon. However, she knows who the Siphon and the last sacrifice is.” Fallon stops talking, giving Zoe time to absorb his explanation.

My mind shies at the thought of saying the actual words. Zoe bites her lip and responds before I can answer, “Sahara is my father’s wife. Did you know that?” The room goes eerily silent for a moment. “What?” I ask, disconcerted by her calm tone.

She nods her head. “Sahara’s husband and my mom had an affair. I was the product of that affair. Of course, he will never admit that I’m his, but I overheard them talking about it. It’s one of those situations where everyone knew but pretended that they didn’t. I get my eyes from him. I guess he’s the Siren.” She says with a grim scowl. I can tell that it pains her to know that her father will not acknowledge her.

Lucifer frowns in consternation and asks, “How is it that you and that woman Sahara have a relationship then?” She shakes her head, sardonically. “We don’t. Not really. She has never really liked my father's other children or me. She's like trophy wife number… I don’t know what. For some reason, though, she started taking an interest in me after I lost my job. She offered me employment and an apartment a few months ago. I found it odd, but I didn’t question it since the girls, and I needed a place to live.”

I think about what she is telling us and ask, “Has she ever acted suspiciously around you. Or have you seen her with another woman?” Zoe frowns thoughtfully and raises her hand up to sift through a few strands of hair. “I mean, I found it odd that she was suddenly friendly. She has a friend that she brings around once a month. Her name is Marina.”

She shakes her head with a scowl. Then as if putting the pieces of the puzzle together, she visibly stiffens. “I-I met Marina before my abilities began to change. She was always stopping by the bar I worked in. I found it odd because she was overly friendly in a kind of creepy way. Almost like she was being forced to be nice to me. Do you…do you think she might be the woman you’re looking for?”

Pacing around the room, I raise my hand to rub the back of my neck. I can feel the tension in my body become stronger. “It might be possible, luv. I cannot be sure unless I see her. What does this Marina woman look like?” She swallows and rubs her hands down her thighs. “She has dark hair and weird, almost colorless eyes. They’re like really clear glass. She’s tall…maybe about five foot eight, and slim. If she’s the witch, does that mean…” She stops and rises with an anxious expression on her face. Her brow is furrowed, and her mouth is a tight line. “Does that mean that one of us is the sacrifice and the siphon?”

I lick my lips and puff out a breath as Zoe gazes into my eyes, anxiously waiting for my answer. “Yes, one of you is the Siphon,” I say carefully.

Her eyes shift in thought. “That means that one of us is also the last sacrifice.” I nod my head again. “Yes.”

After a moment, she takes a deep breath and moves to stand before me. “Am I the sacrifice? Is that why that thing attacked me?”

I shake my head and reach for her hands. “No, luv. The sacrifice was Bree.” Her eyebrows rise. She sits up defensively and looks around, panicked. “How do you know?” She asks with apprehension in her voice.

Pulling her close to me, I lay my palms against her jaw. “Because Fallon saved Bree several months ago. She might not remember, but when she disappeared for a couple of days, it was because we were keeping her under protection.”

Zoe places her hand over her mouth and gives Fallon a shocked look. “Oh, my God. We thought she was kidnapped or something. We found her in a hospital with no memory. Why are they after Bree?”

I shrug my shoulders, trying to sound casual. I need to tread lightly when it comes to mentioning Bree in front of Lucifer. He must never know that Bree’s the Erue. Because if he does, Bree is dead. “That’s another story for another time, luv.” She turns her eyes downward and bites her bottom lip uneasily. “Then, that means that I’m the siphon.” Her shoulders deflate with resignation. I want to tell her no. I clench my jaw and respond hesitantly. “I suspect that you are, luv.”

Unfortunately, Lucifer has no problem answering her question. “There’s no suspicion, luv. If Fallon and Azazel are talking to you, then it means that you are the siphon.”

Fallon and I give him our deadliest glare, but the bastard is unmoved by our intimidation tactics. I mean, he wouldn’t be the king of hell if he was easily intimidated by anyone.

I look at Zoe, trying to gauge her reaction. She swallows deeply and sighs with resignation. After a moment, she puffs out a breath and responds. “You don’t have to protect me from the truth, Azazel. It’s me. I know it’s me. It makes perfect sense.” She waves her arms around in agitation.

I take her hands and lower them back on her lap. “It doesn’t matter because I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Her eyes home in on our joined hands and tighten around mine.

“What do we do now?” I turn to an awaiting Fallon and signal for him to continue. Fallon nods his head in agreement and exhales deeply. “According to the Caeleste Codex, the book of all Supernatural, Marael is using the Potestatem Vitae Mortem spell to end the world. The Codex says that the Siphon is the gateway to bringing all hell on earth. From what we gathered, once the Siphon is connected to the witch, there is no reversing it. Even if you kill the witch, all of the power would need another containment vessel. If we don’t have a new vessel, the release would be disastrous. Needless to say, it would be equivalent to releasing several hydrogen bombs.”

Zoe’s eyes widen. “So, what do we do next?” She asks nervously. I shake my head and give Lucifer a warning look. “Right now, we just need to find a new vessel for your power. And Sahara has the answer.” Fallon nods his head in and gives her an encouraging nod. “What Azazel said is true. We just need to find Marael and find a new vessel. If we can do that, we can figure everything else out.” Lucifer paces around the room with a predatory gate. His eyes are narrow to thin slits, and his mouth is puckered tightly. After a moment, he stops in front of us and states speculatively. “Or we can kill her, and that Marael woman would not have a siphon.”

His words make my demon howl in anger. Fists balled, I take a threatening step and grit out. “Or I can rip that stone-cold heart from your chest and feed it to one of your bloody hellhounds. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about your reign in hell.”

Lucifer moves forward with a hostile growl. “I dare you to bloody try it, mate.” Fallon moves between us again and utters balefully. “Would you two desist?” He grips Lucifer’s jacket and pushes him back. “No one is going to kill Zoe, father. Because if you do, Azazel and I will not help you protect your throne or find the Erue.”

Lucifer’s head snaps in Fallon’s direction. “You would betray me as well? My own son?” Fallon releases his father’s jacket and crosses his arms over his chest with a sardonic gaze. “Really, father? Aren’t you the one that started that trend?” He looks towards Lucifer with a grim frown. “Weren't you listening, Father. She can destroy everything—even hell. That’s why you can’t kill Zoe. We need to find another vessel to contain all of the power she is siphoning. Zoe is innocent in all of this. And regardless of how you feel about Azazel’s alleged desertion, you love ruling hell. And if there is no more hell, there is no king of hell. Do you understand now, father?”

Lucifer’s lips tighten into tight lines. “Just keep in mind that betraying me would be a dangerous thing to do, boy. Especially since you’re the son of the most dangerous being in the world.” Fallon tilts his head sideways and venomously spits out. “I’ve already lived long enough, father. Let’s not pretend that you wouldn’t glory at my death. Plus, there’s nothing you can do to me. I have no loved ones for you to kill.”

Lucifer’s nostrils flare angrily at Fallon’s matter of fact tone. “You believe that I would want to kill my own son? Do you forget so quickly that I’m the one who protected you from Lilith’s wrath? I might not be the father of the year, but you are still my son.” He utters with conviction.

Fallon’s face loses some of its hardness, but he doesn’t relent. “Very well, father, I will grant you that you have not been a complete git. However, it still stands to reason that you’ve never been the reasonable sort.” He waves his hand in Zoe and my direction. “You’ve been punishing Azazel for a presumed slight for nearly two millennia. Wouldn’t you agree that this is a bit excessive considering that he chose to leave hell, as opposed to going against you? For centuries you’ve killed his innocent mate. When does it stop, father? Can’t you just let this go and agree that he has been punished enough?” Lucifer jerks his head in my direction and gives me a fuming glare.

I stand there at the ready in case he decides to attack. To my surprise, though, he simply nods his head unhappily and runs his gaze over Zoe’s face. “Very well. I will do it for Zoe.” Zoe rises from her chair with an incredulous look. “Really? And why would you do that? I remember what you’ve done to me, you know? And if the dreams are not dreams, but memories, you’ve been stalking and killing me for a very long time.”

I have to stand guard near Zoe when Lucifer scoffs angrily and approaches her. He gives me a heated glare, then softens when he looks at Zoe. “I didn’t want to do it, you know. It was easy when I didn’t know you. However, after we spoke, I felt…remorse.” He says with a disgusted sneer. It’s comical how his face contorts as if he has gotten a bad taste in his mouth just by saying the word. “I’m the bloody devil, though, and it’s my right to punish whomever I wish.” His voice sharpens as he reverts to his usual arsehole tone.

To our surprise, Zoe simply rolls her eyes and waves her hand impatiently. “Really? That’s your lame attempt at an apology after you’ve stabbed me and nearly choked me to death? Oh, and let’s not forget you just suggested they kill me so that you can keep hell from being overtaken.”

Lucifer quirks an arrogant brow and gives me a pitying snicker. “Is she always this shrewish? I guess I am punishing you by letting her lie.” Zoe crosses her arms and gives him her best glare.

Before she can say a word, I take her hand and pull her into my arms to utter. “Do not antagonize the devil, luv. He’s actually admitting he’s wrong. Trust me when I say that this is a win.” Lucifer shrugs his shoulders in defense. “You’re damn bloody right; that’s all you’ll get. I’m the bleeding king of hell. I don’t have to bow down to a lowly half-breed girl.”

Zoe sighs in exasperation and looks into my beseeching eyes before she shrugs her own shoulders and says, “Fine. Apology accepted. Can we move on to finding a way to cure me of this problem then?” Lucifer takes a step back and pulls a cellphone out of his pocket. “I have things I have to take care of in hell, so I’ll let you to it then. Keep me updated.” Fallon and I shake our heads incredulously. “Goodbye then. Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.” I say with a droll glare. But Lucifer is not one to let anyone have the last word. He simply flips me the bird and says with a chuckle. “You're right, mate; we wouldn’t want a sweet arse like mine to get hurt. Imagine how disappointed all the ladies of the world would be?”

“Wow, he’s… something,” Zoe utters with a disbelieving snicker. Fallon snorts and closes the front door. “You don’t know the half of it, luv.” She nods her head. “Yeah, I guess you would know since you’re the son of Satan and all.” Fallon gives a casual shrug of his shoulders and slumps down in a nearby chair. I follow suit and take a seat on another chair. “Are you alright, luv?” I ask Zoe with a concerned frown. Zoe nods her head, looking unsure. “I guess. I mean, it’s a lot to take, but I trust you.” I reach for her hand and rise to stand before her. Fallon clears his throat, startling us from our thoughts and gestures for the stairs. “I’m going to go now.”

Zoe and I nod in agreement but do not break eye contact. I listen as Fallon’s footsteps fade into the distance and pull Zoe into my arms. “Are you sure you’re alright, luv?” My eyes glaze over when she bites her lip and wraps her arms around my neck. “I’ll admit that I’m a bit scared, Azazel. I guess right now, I just want to know more about what is happening. I want to know who you are. Why did Lucifer say that I’m your mate? And why has he been killing me for the past, I don’t know how many years.”

I swallow hard. I had never been unsure of anything in my life. However, at this moment, I feel like a wet behind the ears chap who has finally gotten the opportunity to mount his first wench. I never expected to feel this uncertainty around a woman. I knew she was mine from the moment I met her. However, I never expected this to be so incredibly life-changing. I feel like I’ve been finally put together after being fractured for so long. Making love to this woman broke all of the boundaries of my heart and brought light to my ever-growing darkness. Nothing prepared me for this. I have been with countless women, and none will ever come close to the epic feelings this woman has instilled inside me.

I finally know what all of those stupid poems and songs that Nevaeh likes; are talking about. Now I understand why Mikhail, Mathias, Traeger, and Kell look so satisfied. I’ve finally found the other half of my soul. I gaze into her beautiful ocean blue eyes and see my future. Her hair is loose and wild around her head and body, creating a halo of velvety chocolate, and her eyes are molten pools. She sits on the couch, still wearing the gorgeous gown around her enticing figure. I want to rip the dress from her body and make love to her again. But she’s ready to talk, and I owe her that.

I rub my chest feeling it swell with a variety of emotions; some of those emotions are wonderful, and some make me uneasy at the idea that she might walk away and steal this moment of happiness from me. However, she said she accepted what I was. Therefore, I have to take the final step and trust her with all of that I am. It’s only fair. So I inhale and exhale deeply before I begin. “My name is Azazel Dark, son of demon lord Barabbas. I was born in hell over two millennia ago. I don’t really know how old I am because I lost count.” I stop for a moment, trying to find a way to continue.

“My childhood was not what you would call a happy one since I was the product of rape. My father hated me, and my mother wished every day that I’d never been born. When I was less than a decade old, Lucifer had my mother and father executed. He thought that they were conspiring to take his throne, which they probably were. I say good riddance to that brutal, psychotic wanker, and negligent bitch. I was finally free of them. I’m sure he was coming for me next. Or so I thought. However, Lucifer had other plans. No matter how big of a brutal tyrant my father was, he also made every effort to make me a good little soldier. I knew battle strategies, and I knew how to fight. I was very strong, even at such a young age. Lucifer gave me two choices, die or become one of his generals. I chose the latter. I fought many wars on his behalf until I realized that I didn’t want to do it any longer. I also knew that Lucifer was growing threatened by my strength and that he was going to execute me at the first opportunity. You see, Lucifer was not kind to those he thought were stronger or more powerful than him. However, I had no designs on his throne. I just wanted to live and be free. You may call it whatever you wish, but I was Lucifer’s slave. Eventually, I came up with a plan to free myself from hell. I snuck into Lucifer’s room one night and held a sacred sword to his throat. Probably not the best way to go about it, but I wasn’t there to kill him. I just wanted him to listen to me before he made any decisions on my fate. After I explained to him that I had no aspirations to claim his throne, I made a blood oath, pledging to never war against him if he gave me my freedom. He agreed, released me from my position, and told me to leave hell and never come back. I was finally free. I roamed the earth for a while, free but unsure as to what to do next. I guess I never thought it through. One thing I did know was how to fight. With a few minor exceptions, I was incomparable when it came to fighting and warring. I fought several human wars, such as the Crusades; I was a gladiator, even a knight. For the first few centuries, I was living and dreaming of the moment when I would meet my soul mate.”

I stop and sit down on the coffee table in front of her to mirror her position. We are now facing each other, looking into each other’s eyes. I raise my hand and caress it down her silken cheek. Her eyes look sad as they gaze into mine. Zoe raises her hand and rests it over mine to gently ask. “What do you mean, soulmate?” I smile sardonically at the thought of how long I waited for her and lower my hand to rub my thumb over her plump bottom lip. She closes her eyes and lets out a kittenish sigh. I can’t stop touching her. It’s as if my body and mind need reassurance that she’s real.

I swallow deeply and take another deep breath. “All Supernatural creatures have a soulmate. The second half of their soul that belongs to them. Soulmates are given to us by fate and destiny. Even demons have a soulmate. Depending on what kind of supernatural you are—there are various ways you can tell who your mate is or how you will meet. For example, Nevaeh is a Nephilim and dreamt of Mikhail before she met him. Mikhail is a hybrid, which means he’s half-angel and half-demon. Angels dream of their mates, and demons tend to lose control of their demon selves slowly. Their bodies become more uncontrollable and violent. We’re definitely more volatile. Vampires are basically the same. They crave more blood, and wolves can smell their mates. There are a few more but, by the overwhelmed look on your face, I will stop.”

She scoffs, looking dazed as she runs a hand over her head. “So what Mikhail told me is true; all of the myths and creatures of the night exist?” She asks, part awed and partly horrified. I nod my head and give her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, luv, Supernaturals are similar to humans. Some may be good and some bad. We also have a policing system called the Council that keeps rule breakers in line.” She nods her head in relief and waves her hand in encouragement. “Okay, …okay. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since I met Lucifer, Fallon, and Mikhail. You can continue with your story now.” I want to laugh at her deadpanned order. My lady is trying to get a handle on my world. Elation rushes through me at the thought of her acceptance.

“I waited for my soul mate for so long. I even remained chaste for two centuries so that I would give myself to her in purity.” I croak out, feeling emotion well up inside me as I remembered the moment when I realized that I was never going to find her. I look down and clench my jaw, trying to get ahold of my emotions. It has been so long since I’ve thought about that moment. She must sense my emotional state because she moves closer and wraps her arms around my shoulders in comfort. I tighten my hands around her and inhale her sweet lavender scent, reminding myself that she’s here now. That I’ve finally found her. Tilting my lips on the side of her head, I mutter. “However, I didn’t find you since apparently, Lucifer had been killing you. That’s when my desolation took over. It had been so long. I was so alone. So I turned to other women for comfort.”

I tighten my arms when her body stiffens. I can tell that she is disturbed by my confession. However, she doesn’t release me. “I was a gladiator in an arena when I began to feel the weight of my loneliness. I wanted you, and you weren’t there. The possibility that you might never be was a blow to my very being. I was given a slave girl as a gift, and I took her. I felt disgusted afterward. I wanted to hate myself and the fates for my desolation. I felt like I was drowning. It became easier after a few centuries. I no longer felt guilt at not waiting for you because I believed you did not exist.” I stop talking and pull her away to look in her eyes. “I promise you, Zoe, if I had known that you existed, I would have never looked or touched another.”

Zoe entwines her fingers with mine and gives me an understanding nod. I inhale deeply and calmly continue. “But even that became a chore. I only had sex when I needed it. It was odd because I would do it when the anguish would become unbearable. Eventually, I met Mikhail’s father, Samael. I finally had some kind of connection with someone. Even if it was tenuous—he was my brother and my best mate. For years, we fought and caused havoc together. Sometimes fighting was the only way I could forget the emptiness growing inside of me. Samael gave me a respite, even if it was temporary. He even tried to help me find my mate. Together we were unbeatable and the worst sort of blackguards.” I mutter with a reminiscent smile.

I lower my head down and lean my forehead against hers. Her eyes glow with compassion as she runs her fingers over my jaw. “Then what happened?” She mutters carefully. Her lip trembles as she takes a deep breath and swallows and her eyes are filled with emotion. I can tell that my story has struck a chord.

I kiss her lips gently and sift my fingers through a few strands of her hair. “Ultimately, Samael fell in love. He was so happy.” I utter with an envious chuckle. “I was happy for him and sad at the same time. However, Samael’s love was founded on rocky grounds. You see, he fell in love with an angel. That is the most taboo thing you could do in the supernatural world. It was forbidden for angels and demons to fall in love, and a death warrant if they bore any children. Samael knew that his forbidden love would be the cause of a demon and angel uproar. They would both be killed as an example by the Council if they were found. That’s when he decided he and his love needed to go into hiding. And I helped him. I knew I would lose him. That I would lose the only tether to the world, I had, but I couldn’t begrudge him the thing that I wanted most. I gave him all of the gold I had, told him I would always be there for him, and sent him to his happiness.” I stop when I feel a wet tear slide down my eye. I have only ever cried two times in my lifetime. One was when I figured out that I would forever be alone, and the second was when I lost my best mate Samael.

Zoe cries silently and presses her face closer to mine, trying to give me solace. Smiling at her sweet gesture, I place a gentle kiss on her nose and continue. “I heard from him a few times after that. He would send me secret letters. One of them was to tell me that he had a son. He was ecstatic and wished I was there to share the moment with him. I wished him good fortune.”

Sadness overwhelms me at the memory. It’s as if the wound of losing Samael never quite healed. It just scabs over until it’s reopened by another painful memory. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I continue. “Unfortunately, my friend was not so fortunate. After receiving no correspondence from him for several years, I couldn’t sit there and not know. I sent a few investigators and found out that he and his family were killed and tortured by what I later found out was a corrupt Council member named Lukan. I was devastated to find that the one person in the world who mattered to me most was gone from this world. My desolation was two-fold now. I was all alone again. I went into a deep, dark depression after that. I wanted to die so many times. I was ready to give up on life until a fateful day when I was flying over the city a few years back and ran into Mikhail. He is the spitting image of his father in face and temperament. That’s when I realized that Samael’s son survived.” I chuckle, remembering Mikhail and my first meeting. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. At first, I thought I imagined things. I was flying over the city, and on one of the rooftops stood none other than my best mate Samael. He was a bit younger looking and completely irreverent of my power. He flipped me off and told me, sod off.”

Zoe covers her mouth with a giggle and shakes her head bemused. “What?” She asks, her mood lighter. I nod my head and roll my eyes. “The little bugger was all attitude. I knew he wasn’t Samael, but the resemblance was uncanny. He had to at least be a relation of Samael’s. His wings gave his heritage away. You see, angels have feathered wings just like the ones you see in human paintings. Demons have wings like mine. Our wings appear as tattoos on our backs.” I say, gesturing to my back where my own wing tattoo lies.

“Mikhail’s wings are a mixture of both. They are black, feathered, and tattooed to his back. That’s how I knew he was neither angel nor a demon. It didn’t bother me, though. Somehow it cemented what I knew deep down in my heart. I kept it light at first and befriended him slowly. I will never forget the grimace on his face when he took a drink from my flask. We had a tenuous bond. Both wary of each other but curious as to who the other was. I was the first demon he had met that did not want to kill him. And he was the first angel/demon hybrid I had ever met. I knew deep down he was Samael’s son. I just wasn’t sure how to prove it. Then I met Nevaeh. She was beautiful, sweet, and so alone.”

I say, hoping she will understand mine and Nevaeh’s familiarity. “I could empathize with the air of loneliness about her because I felt the same way. She and I were both forsaken by our family and were left to fend for ourselves.” Zoe bites her lip and utters out warily. “Were you in love with her?” I shake my head with a grimace. “I was… I was attracted to her. As I said, I thought we were kindred due to our similar situations. With Nevaeh, it was more about how she treated me. She never saw me as her savior or as a powerful demon. She saw me as a man and treated me like one. She would reprimand me and scold me like I was her equal. But she was in love with Mikhail, and he was in love with her, even if neither of them would admit it. I knew then that she was for him. After all, how can I begrudge Mikhail, his soul? They were meant to be together, and I knew it. Perhaps in another life, Nevaeh and I would have been happy. But she would never be my soul, and I wouldn’t be hers. So I stepped aside and helped Mikhail win her heart.”

Zoe runs her eyes over my face as if gauging the truthfulness of my words. Which is understandable, considering I told her that Nevaeh and I were intimate? “But you and Nevaeh were…together?” She asks, beseeching me to explain. I nod my head carefully. “Yes, but that was on Mikhail’s behest,” I say carefully.

Zoe’s eyes go wide with surprise. “What? Why?” I clear my throat and respond. “Remember, I told you that an angel and a demon relationship was forbidden?” She nods her head with a confused frown. “Yes.”

I continue. “Well, having a hybrid angel and demon fall in love with a human is beyond that. It would mean instant death for the couple. The Council only let Mikhail live with restrictions. One is that he would leave humans alone. Mikhail knew that if the Council found out, they would execute him and Nevaeh. But he couldn’t stay away from her. She’s his other half. They were meant to be. The only solution he could come up with was not to make her his mate through the mark.”

Zoe quirks a curious brow. “What’s that?” I take a deep breath and reply. “Long story short; when you find a mate, you mark them as yours. Depending on the species, the mark is different. For a demon, it means having intimate contact and marking your mate with a bite. When a demon bites his mate during an intimate moment, a tattoo will show up on the mate’s body.” I lift my t-shirt up and point to the mark on my rib cage. It has black demon wings and a ring of blue fire wrapped around it. Zoe runs her finger over the mark, making my chest contract and my body heat up instantly.

I exhale softly, trying to get my body under control and continue after a moment. “Unmarked mates are considered fair game to those in the supernatural world. And Mikhail had to find a way to protect Nevaeh from supernatural predators who would find joy in hurting her. Even though it pained him greatly, he asked me to mark her.”

Realization dawns in Zoe’s eyes. I can tell she understands the sacrifice that we all made that night. “I won’t pretend that I didn’t enjoy kissing and touching her, but we both loved Mikhail too much to hurt him. I marked her and moved on after that. They went through a great deal together and were able to triumph in the end. It turned out that Nevaeh is the illegitimate daughter of the Council's head enforcer, Mathias. He approved of their relationship and prohibited the Council from coming after them. Mikhail replaced my mark with his, and now they’re both living happily after.”

I stop and take a deep breath, feeling relieved that I’ve finally unburdened myself. “I will admit that for a while, I thought I still felt something for her. However, after meeting you, I understand that I was just trying to find some way to feel something, even if it was an attraction. What I felt for Nevaeh was a fleeting infatuation. All I feel now is a deep friendship. She’s the pesky pain in the arse sister I never wanted. She can be a bloody nuisance sometimes too. Especially when she shows up at inopportune moments.”

A sense of relief overwhelms me when Zoe chuckles at my chagrin. “Wow, I wonder what she’d say if she heard you?” I roll my eyes in bemusement. “Oh, she knows she’s a pain in my arse. But she is family, and with her and Mikhail came new friends with whom I have bonded and call family now. They put me back together, even if you could still see the cracks. They became my reason for continuing to exist.” I finish my story by taking her hands in mine and lay a kiss inside her palm.

Zoe leans forward and caresses her thumb across my lips. “You know you may not remember me, but I remember you.” I quirk a brow in question and rest her hand on my thighs. “You mean the dreams of your past lives?” She nods her head carefully, rises from her seat, and releases a deep breath.

“Well…um…some of them are not very clear. But a few are. One of them was of you as a gladiator.” She looks at me from under her lashes, waiting to see my response. But I remain calm and give her an urging look.

She sighs deeply and continues. “In the dream, I’m some kind of servant girl. And you are in this large gladiator arena. You put on this helmet-like thing that is shaped like a flame over your head and some kind of black metal breastplate with a red dragon carved in the middle of it. And you take out this large sword that gleams like moonlight. What gets me is that you look sad. Almost as if it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose.”

My heart stutters at her every word because everything she’s describing is on par with what I wore as a gladiator, right down to the sword and emblem in my armor. My chest tightens, nearly choking me. “What else happens in the dream?” I ask with urgency. She tilts her head back in surprise but does not question my request. “There’s not much to it. I get this feeling that I need to speak to you. But you never notice me once you kill your opponents. You just walk away. Unfortunately, I never get to speak to you again because shortly after, Lucifer kills me.” She whispers sadly.

I release her hands and pull her close to my arms. However, my soul becomes heavy with guilt at what my mate suffered alone. “Tell me about the other dreams,” I ask quietly. My chest tightens as she continues to speak. “In another dream, I’m a servant again. I guess that’s my curse.” She whispers flippantly. “This time, I’m in some castle, and I’m carrying a large tray of food to a table when I run into you. I’m also filthy and covered with dirt and soot. In this dream, you also have a black knight’s armor. However, your emblem is different. You have some kind of horned bull with flames behind it. Anyway, you help me pick up the things from the floor. We barely talk when another knight walks up to us, and you divert him towards others… endeavors. We never spoke again. Same as the other dreams, Lucifer stabs me through the heart with a knife.” She stops and places her hands on my shoulders, comfortingly. However, with every one of her words, the ache in my stomach deepens because I know that I failed her. Because I never realized that we’d even gotten close enough to talk.

A flash of memory sifts through my mind. I remember the night that she was talking about. I remember the ragged servant with the soot-covered face. Her eyes were the color of the deepest Caribbean ocean. I remember walking away with Donovan and regretting not speaking to the wench. However, I didn’t get an opportunity because my king sent me on a mission the next day. I am such a bloody fool. I was so close, and I let her slip through my fingers.

Zoe continues her story, completely unaware of my self-reproach. “I had another dream before I woke you up last night. This one was the scariest. I was walking home from work. I think I was living in the early nineteen-hundreds or something because of the way I spoke and thought. Anyway, I was walking home from work at the sewing factory when Lucifer stopped in front of me. Just like before, I remember thinking that he was very beautiful with his dark hair and eyes. But there was something not right about him. I don’t know what it was, but something inside me told me that he wasn’t there to be friendly. When I asked him what he wanted, he began to rant about you. He said that he couldn’t let you meet me again. That it was a close call before, and he had to handle it because you had to pay for your desertion. Then he…” Her lip trembled, and her eyes tear up. “…he stabbed me through the heart again.” She finishes by placing her hand on her chest with a sad sniffle.

I’m reeling at her stories because they are all true. As a gladiator, I had black armor, my emblem was a red dragon, and my sword was made of purified steel blessed by angels. And when I was a knight, my emblem was a bull, which means that Zoe’s soul has been searching for mine for a very long time, and I never knew. Desolation overwhelms me as I look into my beautiful mate’s eyes. “I’m so bloody sorry, luv. I let you down. None of those stories you’ve told me are dreams. They are all real. Every part of it is real. Those are past memories of our encounters. I believe those were pivotal moments where we would have met, but Lucifer prevented them from happening.” I wrap my fingers around my hair and pull at it furiously as I rise to pace around the room. “I should have killed Lucifer!” My breathing is ragged as I try to hold my rage in. But I can’t help but feel gutted.

Zoe rises from her own perch and wraps her arms around me. “Don’t beat yourself up over this Azazel. You didn’t know. I know you didn’t know.” She mutters, laying her head under my chin. I tighten my arms around her and kiss the top of her head for comfort. “So now you know what I am and who I am to you.” I pull back from her arms and take her face in my hands. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” I whisper with uncertainty. Zoe bites her lips and brushes her fingers behind my neck with a distracted look. My hand tightens on her face pulling her flush against me. My lips hover over hers in a sensual tease as I whisper. “Tell me.” Her eyes glaze as they focus on mine. Zoe rises to her toes and locks her lips with mine. Our breaths mingle, and our tongues explore.

Sliding my hands down her neck, chest, and waist, I lift her into my arms and wrap her legs around me. A sexy mewl escapes her mouth as she clings to my shoulders and rotates her hips with a sensual roll. My hands grip her muscled thighs, helping her grind her warm center against my body. I moan at the contact of her covered apex rubbing against my hard shaft. My cock throbs with every grind and drag of her molten core. I push her dress up her thighs to mold the soft flesh of her rounded bottom. The feel of her firm breasts and hard nipples brushing up against my chest is delicious. I just want to rip her delicate dress off and slide into her tight heat. A shiver crawls up my spine when she slides her fingers through my hair. Every part of me is on fire with awareness.

I lay her carefully on the couch and gently lay my body over hers. Her ankles dig into my thighs, and her body undulates sensuously beneath mine. Rising to a sitting position, I pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. Zoe rises to run her hands over my chest and sucks gently on the buds of my nipples. I throw my head back with a groan at the feel of her suctioning lips and soft hands scraping firmly down my stomach. My fingers wrap around her head to pull her close. She nips sharply at one of my abs. It’s a bittersweet pain to feel her dull teeth bite my skin. My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head with every sweet sensation.

Placing my hands over the straps of her dress, I lower them to her elbows, exposing the round globes of her breasts. Her nipples stiffen into tight buds as the dress slides down her silken waist. Her firm stomach tightens under the feel of my hands. She wraps her arms around my neck and rubs her naked chest against mine. The nubs of her nipples kindle a burning blaze over every exposed part of my chest. It’s the most intense sensation I’ve ever experienced. I pull her up to straddle my lap and slip the remaining parts of her dress and underwear down her hips to toss it next to my abandoned t-shirt.

We both sit there for a moment finding enjoyment in simply looking at each other. I run my gaze down her crystalline eyes, luscious lips, fragile neck, and heaving chest with admiration. She closes her eyes with a pleasurable sigh when I stroke a finger over her jaw and slide it down her chest to tweak her nipple. Our mouths meet again in a frenzied duel. We both cling to each other unable to bear any kind of separation. My hands tingle everywhere that I touch her bare skin.

Taking action, I lift her up into my arms and carry her up the stairs to my bedroom. I kick the door closed without care and drop down on the bed with her pliant body beneath mine. My jean covered shaft rubs enticingly over her quivering folds. Her nails scrape my back as they make their way down to settle over the swollen bulge of my zipper. I lift up and watch from under the fringe of my lashes as she unbuttons my jeans and carefully lowers my zipper. A groan escapes my mouth when her small warm fingers wrap around the head of my penis. If anything, I am harder now than I was a moment ago. My stomach contracts with every pull of her tight fist. She licks up the tight tendon of my neck and nips lightly on my jaw, calling my attention back to her sweet lips. “We need a condom.” She whispers, placing a few soft kisses on my lips. I suck her bottom lip lightly and rub my nose against hers. “We don’t need one. Demons and mates can only have children on specific moon cycles. And we’re immune to diseases. The same thing goes for Sirens. That’s why I didn’t use protection last time.” She pulls back, gazing at me with an intent stare. Then as if seeing the truth of my words, she nods her head and moves her hands to my bottom to lower the jeans lower. Her sharp nails scrape pleasurably over the globes of my ass, making my body tingle with goosebumps. Moving my hand down to her wet folds, I sift my fingers into her heat until I find her needy bud and roll it gently with my thumb.

Zoe throws her head back with a pleasurable sigh and shifts her hips to move her mound for closer contact. Her walls quiver, and her molten center pulses with every flick of my fingers. My mouth waters at the thought of tasting her honey. Without another thought, I kiss my way down her neck and chest to swirl my tongue over her tight nubs before I suck and nip at her stomach and belly button. Her fingers wrap around my hair, urging me to go lower. I gaze at her soft hairless petals and lick my lips before I swirl my tongue over the hard bud. My mouth explodes with the flavor of her passion. She tastes like rain and strawberries. I close my eyes, enjoying her sweet taste as she arches her back and cries out. “Azazel!”

I’ve never done this to a woman. I always felt that intimacy would be the last betrayal to my mate. These are things that I wanted to try only with her. Her hips undulate with every lave of my tongue. I watch as her gleaming chest heaves with every pleasurable pull. Taking her thigh, I lift it over my back and deepen the stroke of my tongue to penetrate her quivering opening. Zoe cries out again, releasing my hair to spread her arms over her head. She looks incredibly beautiful under the moonlight as she thrashes with wild abandon. Then her body stills, and her breath hitches as her climax courses through her body. I can feel her walls contract around my tongue, and her ecstatic cries fall from her glistening lips. Her body trembles and her thighs stiffen as the final waves of completion rush through her body. Seizing the moment, I rise from between her thighs and slide my throbbing shaft inside her quivering womb. I groan as her contractions stroke my sensitive head.

Pumping my hips, I pound my shaft deep inside her tightening cavern. She feels incredibly warm and wet. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I stroke in and out of her. My hips undulate and roll in stimulating circles across her sensitive bundle. She clings to me and rises to connect our lips. Our tongues swirl and retreat, mimicking the movements of our bodies. My teeth clench with every glide of my shaft. I can feel my climax kindling and building to a roaring flame. Suddenly the world stops, and shockwaves of bittersweet pleasure strike me. “Fuck!” I groan out as my essence is pulled from my body into a heady explosion of colors and sensations. I give one last stroke as I release all of my love into my mate. Then fall bonelessly over her curvy frame, sweating and heaving as the blissful moment crests to gratifying exhaustion. Our bodies cling together as we both lie there, breathing raggedly with sweat covering our naked limbs.

After a moment, I lay back and wrap my arms behind my head. Zoe turns towards me and rests her head on my chest with a contented sigh. I lower my arms to caress her back and kiss her head. “You’re not going to slink off like a thief in the night again, are you?” I ask, half-joking and half-serious.

She shakes her head over my shoulder and lays a kiss over my heart before she looks back up at me. “No, I won’t leave without telling you again. Unless you want me to go?” She asks hesitantly. Shaking my head, I pull her over me and wrap her in my arms. “No, luv, I never want you to leave.” Her smile widens shyly, and she wraps her arms around my neck. “Okay then, I’m staying. But just a warning. I have to go home early because I have classes tomorrow, and I need to talk to Bree. She’s worried that I haven’t been home for two nights.” I wrap my hands around her, tuck her head under my neck, and reply. “Anything for you, my lady.”

Not another word is said after that. We both simply drift off as we lie in the comfort of each other’s arms.