Chapter 49

It was the first time Emiliano admitted, without a doubt, that I was the one in his head. The confession sped up the rate of speed my tears came. The thoughts of him in *my* head came rushing back.

*I was back on the concrete floor, choking on my own blood, gasping for air, while I laid next to my dead father. I watched as our pools of blood rushed toward each other on the pavement, and melted into one another. My eyes were growing heavy. Making peace with my departure from this world. When a black shadow gracefully picked me up with ease.

I blinked a few times to get my eyes to open when I saw Emiliano looking down at me. I could barely see his face through the streaks of sunlight. But I’ll never forget the last thing I saw before waking up a few days later in a hospital bed.*

I covered my face as I silently sobbed in front of Emiliano. I could tell he felt completely hopeless. He tried to explain,

“I don’t mean to hurt you, Hera. I’m so sorry. Anka is so disobedient, I constantly have to use force with her just to get her to listen to me, I’ve forgotten how to be gentle.”

His explanation flared more anger from me. I had so many emotions flowing through me, I couldn’t make sense of it all. I tried to calm myself down by taking inventory of my feelings and explained them away.

First, I felt angry. Angry that Emiliano kept talking about *Anka*. Second, I felt sad. Sad I lost my father, sad I was fighting a losing battle for Emiliano. Sad I missed Dario. Third, I was confused. Confused about my feelings for Emiliano, confused about my feelings for Dario.

And fourth, I felt curious? I wasn't expecting that. I was curious about Emiliano’s vision of me. If he was seeing me in his head, then how did I get there? How did he get into mine?

I stopped crying and asked Emiliano, who was still sitting on the floor watching me,

“Where did you get your vision of me?”

He gave me a confused look. I’m sure my question seemed random to him. He looked down for a moment then looked back up to me with tears in his eyes. To see him hurt like that broke something inside me and I slid off the couch to join Emiliano on the floor. I held his hands in mine as he explained,

“It was almost 6 years ago.”

I could hear the lump in his throat as he continued,

“My dad and I went to a family meeting in Athens. I remember my father saying it was a big deal because an heir was going to be crowned as the new king of the family.”

I kept my eyes from bulging out of my skull. He was at the meeting? It made sense, Emiliano’s father was the Don before him. I tried to rack my brain, trying to remember if I saw him there. But I can’t even remember how my father and I ended up on the floor. I stayed calm as he went on, holding back sobs,

“I remember my father being scared to go, since every head of every family under the organization would be there. He said if someone wanted to, they could wipe out the whole Mediterranean mob with one shot. And that’s exactly what happened. During King Ambrosio’s speech, right before he announced his heir, he was shot.”

I started crying again. I have never heard a different perspective of that meeting before. It was weird to hear the worst day of my life from another point of view. Emiliano wiped the tears from his face and said,

“It all snowballed from there. But I remember you standing on the other side of the table.”

Emiliano put his hand on my cheek and continued with a smile,

“Bullets were flying everywhere, furniture debris in the air. I remember so clearly. You were in the middle of it all, staring at me. Like an angel, a beacon of hope. Then I was shot and everything went dark.”

Emiliano’s hurt look returned and he dropped his hand from my face when he said,

“I didn’t think you were real. When I woke up in the hospital, the vision of you haunted me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw you in the middle of death. I used to think you were the grim reaper. Coming to collect me. But years went by and I was still alive. More than alive. Protected.”

Emiliano grabbed my hands and looked at me when he continued,

“After a few close calls, I started to realize you were my guardian angel. That’s when I became obsessed. I looked forward to closing my eyes and seeing my angel.”

He pulled me in close and held me in his arms as he whispered,

“I didn’t think you were real. I didn’t think you existed. So when I saw Anka, I figured she was the closest I’d get to you.”

Emiliano squeezed me tight and kissed me on the cheek. He was still whispering when he continued,

“Imagine my surprise when you showed up on my boat all those months ago. When I had you by the throat and stared into your eyes for the first time, I saw my angel.”

Emiliano chuckled as he thought back and said,

“I tried to ignore it, tried to stay loyal to Anka, but you kept surprising me. The night we went to the club was when I knew without a doubt that you were real, and I finally found you.”

Tears started streaming down my face. Emiliano wiped them away. We sat on the floor in each other's arms for a while. I started growing uncomfortable in my small dress and Emiliano’s jacket. I didn’t want to break up this moment, but I was dying to change.

“Emiliano?”

He loosened his grip to look at me and I asked,

“Can we change?”

Emiliano nodded his head and he silently stood up and helped me to my feet.