I wake up kind of confused. Mostly because I don’t actually remember going to bed last night. I’m curled up in Lukas’s arms. I can feel Roxy’s heavy weight on my legs and I’m fairly sure that Princess is in her usual spot on the pillow right above my head. I don’t think I want to be awake yet. This is far too peaceful. But inevitably, time passes and it’s time for me to move. I give up pretending I won’t have to when Princess arches her back and walks straight over me and to the doorway, clearly heading to the kitchen where she will expect her breakfast. If I don’t deliver she’s going to start meowing. Interestingly, Lukas is still asleep. He’s usually up before me. Then again, he must have carried me to bed last night, so who knows how late he was up. I’ll let him sleep a little bit longer. I carefully climb out of bed and go feed Princess who purrs like a tractor and winds her way around my ankles. Roxy was disturbed when I got up and she pads along behind me. I give her breakfast too, then slip on some shoes and a dressing gown and take her out for a walk around the block to give her a chance to do her business. I could have gotten dressed first, but it seems like it’s still pretty early. The entire time I’m out I see like one person and it’s some insane morning person who is out jogging. Can you imagine that? Exercise, this early in the day! I both resent and admire her dedication to fitness. When I get back, Lukas is still asleep. He really must be tired. I decide to hang out in the living room so I don’t wake him up just yet.
I check my phone which I left out here while I was sleeping. It’s low on power, so I plug it in. But I also have a message from Laura. It came through ridiculously early.
Laura- Okay, I’m starting to think you’re only coming to the bar on my nights off on purpose. Are you avoiding me?!
I immediately text her back, although I don’t know if she’s awake or not. Laura keeps some strange hours so it’s always worth a try.
Clare- It’s not intentional. You know I don’t plan far enough ahead for that.
Laura- Ooh good point. Okay, well I guess I can forgive you. But seriously, catch me up a bit. I’ve heard a lot from Eli via a group chat. Plus the guy never stops texting. I swear he’s worse than a teenager.
Clare- Lol. He hasn’t been that bad for me yet. But I think that’s because he knows I’ve had a lot going on.
Laura- Maybe. He hasn’t been so bad lately. Rina’s brother has been getting all of his attention. I think you met Damien?
Clare- YES!!! He’s obsessed, right?
Laura- Completely. It’s kind of sweet but Dami seems to have no idea.
Clare- What does Rina think about it?
Laura- She’s not opposed. She’s a very accepting person as you’ve probably noticed. She trusts her brother to make his own decisions and Eli not to ask like a total dick.
Clare- She’s really nice. I see why you like her so much.
Laura- Speaking of people we like, how’s Lukas? <3 ;)
Clare- … He’s fine.
Laura- Fine or FINE? ;)
Clare- I’m rolling my eyes at you.
Laura- You can’t deny the guy is hot.
Clare- Technically I CAN deny it. But I won’t. You’re right, he’s an attractive guy.
Laura- And…
Clare- And what?
Laura- Are you intentionally being dense? Has he made a move yet? Have you? Tell me everything.
Clare- It’s not like that…
Laura- Liar. I know you Clarey. Plus Eli texted me a picture of you two hugging.
Clare- ???!?! What?
Laura- He thought you guys were cute. And I have to say I agree. So are you together or not.
Clare- Not… I think?
Laura- You aren’t sure?
Clare- Define together.
Laura- Uh… I don’t know exactly. You just… Are together.
Clare- That’s incredibly unhelpful. Besides, we’re in the middle of a chaotic situation. It’s SO not the time to be considering dating.
Laura- Life is chaotic. YOU’RE chaotic. I doubt that’s ever going to change.
Clare- I’m not ready to deal with it right now. There’s too much going on.
Laura- But not for much longer, right? Only another week or so…
Clare- That’s true. But then life will have to get back to normal.
Laura- Just promise you’ll think about it at some point. I know you tend to avoid conversations that make you uncomfortable. I would hate for you to miss something great because you’re too busy running around worrying about everyone else.
Clare- Fine. I promise to think about it.
Laura- Good. Also before I forget, in the last week or so my mother has basically completely stopped trying to contact me. Personally, I think it’s a relief. But I worry a bit about what she might be planning. Have you heard anything?
Clare- No. But I’ll look into it.
By the time I finish texting Laura and tossing my phone aside, I’m feeling a little... Restless with thoughts. The conversation helped. Sort of… But it also stirred up a thousand more questions I’m not ready to unpack yet. So instead of doing something wild like thinking about my feelings, I head into the kitchen and decide to make breakfast. Not toast. Not cereal. Actual breakfast. The real kind. The kind that takes a little time. The kind that smells like home and comfort and ‘everything is going to be okay’ if you don’t think too hard about it. I crack some eggs, throw a pan on the stove, and start rummaging through the fridge for whatever I can piece together. Roxy sits by the doorway, her chin resting on her paws like she’s deeply invested in my culinary process. I’m just finishing up when I hear the creak of my bedroom door. Right on time. I hear soft footsteps, then Lukas, still rumpled from sleep, appears in the doorway. His hair is a little messy, and there's a faint pillow crease on his cheek. He looks… Kind of adorable actually.
“Something smells good.” He murmurs, voice still scratchy with sleep.
“Actual breakfast.” I say proudly, flipping an omelette in a pan and then pretending that I DIDN’T almost drop it on the floor. Lukas yawns and steps closer, leaning against the counter.
“Did Roxy wake you up?” He questions.
“Nope, Princess did her usual ‘feed me or suffer the consequences’ routine. I took Roxy out for a bit while I was up.” I inform him. He gives me a look of appreciation that says more than words, and I suddenly feel a little too aware of how I’m standing, of the fact that I’m still in my nightie and dressing gown with my hair in some half wavy, half wild state of existence. I’m not put together at all, neither is he. But I really don’t mind it. It’s kind of nice. Lukas doesn’t say anything. He just… Smiles.
“Sit.” I tell him, pointing with the spatula.
“I’ve got this.” I declare. He raises an eyebrow.
“You sure?” He looks like he wants to jump in and help. Maybe because I just dropped the omelet onto the bench and had to flick it onto the plate.
“I can cook, you know. I just usually don’t bother.” I point out.
“That’s fair. You’ve been running around saving the world. Dishes can wait.” He says cheerfully. I snort.
“They always wait. That’s kind of the problem.” I grumble. When I finally set two plates on the table, Lukas leans over to inspect what I’m offering.
“Is this… Spinach?” He says doubtfully. I grin.
“Yes. It’s healthy. You’ll live.” I answer firmly. I can’t really judge anyone’s diet. But spinach is one of the few green things I actually don’t mind eating. Especially if it’s cooked into something. It basically withers away to nothing and I can convince myself that I’m having a healthy meal. Lukas gives me a deeply skeptical look, but takes a bite anyway, and then, of course, finishes the entire thing like he’s been starved for a month. We eat mostly in silence, not because it’s awkward, but because it’s just... Nice. Peaceful. The kind of quiet that doesn’t demand to be filled. I of course still feel like chatting, but my mouth is full, so for once I’m quiet too. When we’re done, I lean back in my chair and sip at the orange juice I poured with absolutely no intention of finishing. Lukas is still watching me.
“What?” I ask.
“You made breakfast.” He starts.
“Yes. That is a thing people do.” I confirm.
“You don’t usually do it.” He points out.
“So?” I hedge.
“So what are you avoiding?” He asks. I sigh. Damn him for knowing me so well.
“A lot of things. But the point of avoiding them is not to talk it out over breakfast. Maybe some other time.” I say firmly. Lukas looks me in the eye for a moment, then nods.
“Alright. What do you want to talk about then?” He says, dropping the subject entirely.
“What we’re going to do today. I was thinking we could talk to Richard and see if he has any useful information for us. Then I thought maybe it might be time to talk to my aunt again.” I say with a heavy sigh. Lukas nods.
“That works for me.”