Lunch feels like it takes a million years, though it’s probably closer to forty five minutes. Time has no meaning when you’re trapped at a table with your family, trying to keep your sanity intact. Lukas, showing more social skills than I’ve ever seen him display before, handles most of the conversation, seamlessly navigating topics and offering polite, thoughtful responses. Apparently he is perfectly capable of proper small talk, as long as he is being completely insincere. I, on the other hand, am working on mastering the art of nodding politely while somehow always having my mouth full, despite not actually eating much of anything. Throughout the meal, Lukas keeps an arm draped around my waist, his touch both steadying and mildly irritating. It’s not that it’s uncomfortable, it’s just constant, and the longer it stays there, the more I overthink it… Except I’m trying NOT to overthink it because he is obviously listening to me think about trying not to overthink it. Still, I have to admit that his presence is helping, and I keep myself sane by giving him a running commentary of everything I’m actually thinking.
*You know, they say an apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough. Maybe it’s time to test that theory.* I grumble silently after my Aunt Daisy makes an insincere comment about how ‘nice’ it is to have these family gatherings and how we should ‘really do it more often.’ Yeah, that is definitely NOT happening. Lukas coughs, clearly covering a laugh. He unhooks his arm from my waist briefly to mask his reaction. I expect him to put it around my waist or shoulder again, so I am completely unprepared when it lands on my thigh, just above my knee, his fingers warm and steady.
*Just because I’m smiling right now doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you. That hand had better not move even one millimeter higher.* I warn him, while maintaining a pleasant smile as if this is totally normal for us. He doesn’t reply, at least not in words. Instead, he gives my leg a gentle squeeze, and a cheeky smile that tells me that he’s enjoying this way too much. Before I can figure out a way to retaliate, Aunt Daisy, ever the watchful hawk, clears her throat loudly. The sound is so pointed and exaggerated that even Lukas can’t ignore it. He doesn’t remove his hand. Instead, he turns to her with a perfectly concerned expression, his voice dripping with false sincerity.
“Are you alright there, Daisy? You sound like something’s caught in your throat. You’re not coming down with something, are you?” He asks, tilting his head slightly in mock concern. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing out loud as Aunt Daisy’s lips press into a thin, disapproving line. Her eyes narrow, but she doesn’t take the bait.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” She says tersely, her tone is short and unconvincing.
*She sounds pissed, is it wrong that I enjoy how much we’re irritating her?* I comment gleefully to Lukas. He doesn’t answer directly, but the way his thumb lightly taps against my leg tells me that he’s enjoying it too. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m not facing my family’s judgment alone, and it just doesn’t bother me. Instead of it being hurtful, it’s almost funny. I wouldn’t say I’m having fun here, but watching my family crow over Lukas is sort of hilarious, and it’s oddly satisfying knowing that we’re fooling them so easily.
After lunch, we finally leave the table. I’m desperate to go home, emotionally drained and on the verge of just collapsing into bed, but my mum, ever the enthusiastic hostess, starts bringing out drinks and snacks like we didn’t just finish a massive meal. Everyone drifts toward the living room as if the change of scenery will somehow make this more tolerable.
*You should know that I am seriously considering getting drunk tonight. Or eating a lot of ice cream. Maybe both.* I tell Lukas silently, letting my frustration bleed into the thought. He grins at me, his hand lightly resting on my lower back. He leans in closer, brushing my hair back over my shoulder with a deliberate slowness that makes me shiver.
“Sounds like a date.” He whispers, his voice far too close to my ear.
*Not a date.* I snap back mentally, hoping my tone conveys just how much it is very NOT a date. But Lukas doesn’t back off. Instead, he leans even closer, his breath warm against my cheek.
“It could be. You could wear those pyjamas with the little hearts on them. I’ll pick the movie. I think it sounds like a perfect evening.” He murmurs.
*You’re supposed to be investigating which of my family members is involved with Solem, NOT flirting with me.* I grumble, though I can’t deny how flustered I feel. Damn him.
“I can multitask. I AM your boyfriend right now.” He reminds me smoothly, as if that excuses everything. Before I can protest, he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and presses a kiss to my cheek. The room goes silent for a beat, and I suddenly become very aware of our audience. My mother sighs dramatically, clasping her hands together in front of her chest like a starry eyed schoolgirl.
“Awwww, you two are just so sweet together. Aren’t they sweet together?” She gushes, turning to Aunt Daisy with a wide grin.
“I’m so glad you came today, Lukas. It’s been wonderful meeting you. This was such a great idea, Daisy. Thanks for suggesting it.” She says, glancing back at Lukas. I can practically see the hearts in her eyes. I don’t think I’ve had so much of my mum’s approval since… Well… Ever. Wait a second, did I hear that right? This lunch was Aunt Daisy’s idea? I blink, her words pulling me out of my spiral of awkwardness. I thought this whole thing was Mum’s idea. Suspicion prickles at the back of my mind.
*Why would Aunt Daisy want to see me? She barely acknowledges my existence unless it’s convenient for her. That’s… Extremely suspicious. If anyone here is involved with a demon, my money’s on her.* I glance at Lukas, who rubs a hand down my back in a subtle gesture of agreement. We really need a code for situations like this, something simple, like a tap system. One tap for yes, two for no, an SOS if things go badly and we need to get the hell out. The problem is, Lukas is entirely too touchy feely, even for this fake relationship. Everyone in the room is married, and yet none of the couples are as physically affectionate as he’s pretending to be with me. It’s SUPER awkward. Like, my DAD is watching. His arm remains firmly wrapped around my waist, keeping me plastered to his side even as everyone else settles into their seats. We’re still awkwardly standing at the side of the room, drawing far too much attention.
“We should sit.” I say out loud, trying to break the tension. Lukas nods but doesn’t loosen his grip. Instead, he steers me toward the couch where Aunt Daisy is sitting.
*There’s no space for both of us there. If you’re trying to touch her and read her mind, you sit there, and I’ll go sit with my brother.* I tell him silently, my thoughts tinged with exasperation. But Lukas doesn’t let go. He drops into the seat beside Aunt Daisy and, without warning, pulls me down into his lap. I freeze, my entire body stiffening. Aunt Daisy’s expression instantly sours, her lips pressing into a thin, disapproving line. She looks like she’s sucked on a lemon. My mother, on the other hand, looks absolutely delighted. Julian looks… Well, he looks embarrassed on my behalf.
*What the hell are you doing?* I demand, my thoughts sharp with panic. Lukas runs a hand down my arm and leans in even closer, his voice low enough that only I can hear.
“It would have been weird if I sat with your aunt. This way, she’s too annoyed by our ‘impropriety’ to question why I’m sitting near her or notice if I accidentally touch her. She’s distracted, which works to our advantage.” He explains.
*And you couldn’t have WARNED me first? I probably look like a tomato right now.* I complain. Lukas chuckles softly, the vibration of his laugh traveling through me as he tightens his hold just slightly.
“I’ll be sure to warn you next time I want to do something to you.” He murmurs, his voice laced with an infuriatingly playful tone. There’s something about the way he says it that makes my heart trip over itself. I know he’s teasing me, but my reaction is entirely unhelpful. I force myself to focus on Aunt Daisy, hoping to shake the feeling. She looks like she’s ready to burst, her disapproval practically radiating from her like heat from a furnace. It would be satisfying if I wasn’t so painfully aware of my own awkwardness. Lukas, however, seems completely unfazed, a small, victorious smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“I’m going to kiss you in three seconds.” He suddenly whispers. Huh? What? Before I can process the warning, he presses a kiss to my neck, then he settles back into the couch, his arms wrapped loosely around me.
*I’m going to murder you later*. I vow silently.
“Looking forward to it.” He whispers back, entirely too amused. Damn it.