Chapter Eighteen

"I can't believe this!" Savannah panicked.

The following day, the girls went shopping for Violet and Savannah's big vacation the next weekend. At first, she was excited because it was a lake house with a boat and Wyatt. She was no longer thrilled after learning that Carson and Maeve would not be attending. Leaving Maeve alone with Carson was not part of her plan. Couldn't they just come along to save her the worry?

Instead of focusing on Wyatt and what he was like, her mind would be filled to the brim with crazy scenarios that might not even be true. The thought of Maeve finally having Carson to herself was terrifying. Who knows what she was going to say about their relationship? Things could drastically change after the weekend.

Violet was tired of hearing her complain about the situation. Carson has always been the type of man who enjoys being with women. Even though she suspected Savannah was feeling something more than friendship, she could not understand why she was complaining about it. Maeve was known to sleep with any guy she found attractive, even if she did not intend to date them later. What was the difference this time?

"You act like they're getting married or something," Violet said, scanning through a million bathing suits. "Even if she was, you should be pleased. You and I agree that girl needs to settle down."

Savannah rolled her eyes, completely ignoring why they were out shopping. "You're missing the point here Violet," Savannah continued. "Why couldn't she have chosen Cole? They look the same."

Violet laughed. "Fair enough, but she chose Carson," she said. "I'm still not seeing the problem. Aren't you supposed to be getting to know Wyatt?" She wondered.

"I am, but Carson—"

"But Carson, what?" Violet crossed her arms. "What are you not saying? You can't be this worked up if you guys are only friends."

Violet was right. She should not have acted this way if they were just friends. It was pointless to get worked up over something uncontrollable. If they wanted to sleep together, they could do so whether Savannah went away for the weekend or not. There would be plenty of other times that they could be alone and it could happen right then.

Violet did not realize they were not just friends. They were sleeping together, and Savannah had strong feelings for Carson. Feelings that went beyond friendship. She was always against sharing him with anyone else. Carson was meant to be hers. They were destined to be together. He had returned just in time, and she could have lost him in an instant.

She would not say that to Violet because she was not sure if it was even appropriate to discuss. The only person who knew was Cole, and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. Having too many people listening in on their situation was bound to end badly.

"Have you not noticed that every time I talk to a guy, she swoops in to get her dirty hands on him?" Savannah asked as they continued to browse.

Violet couldn't argue with that. "Okay, that is kind of true." She agreed.

Savannah scoffed. "Kind of? Remember Dennis and Calvin." She listed off. "She even tried with the skater guy who I had barely spoken to for a day."

"Fine, but you have never had this visceral reaction to them," Violet replied. "What makes Carson different?"

Savannah became nervous because this much was true. Maeve did have a habit of doing this sort of thing a lot but she never once reacted poorly to it. Her actions were an eye roller for sure but Savannah never cared too much about those guys to waste her energy on it. Her heart has always been with Carson even after he left. Those other guys were just placeholders until he returned. Maeve did not know, but would it matter if she did? Would she still pursue Carson if she truly understood her feelings about him?

She may respect it and leave him alone. However, she may not care. That she would argue Savannah should have grabbed him when she had the chance. It is difficult to tell with Maeve because she can be an excellent friend at times. Other times, she only considers herself, with little regard for how others feel. It depended on the day which Maeve you would get.

Savannah's shoulders shrugged, indicating that she did not wish to respond. "I don't know." Her voice grew softer. "It's Carson."

Violet smiled as if she realized there was more to it than that. "Yes, and he's what to you?" She probed.

Savannah licked her lips, not realizing what Violet was doing. She felt the need to get this off her chest, and who better to confide in than Violet? "Well, that's a little complicated." She laughed nervously.

Violet looked surprised as she walked away. "Complicated? What do you mean complicated?" Her brow furrowed, trailing behind her nervous friend.

Savannah pursed her lips, fidgeting among the endless bikinis. "Oh, this one is cute." She attempted to move away from the conversation. She wanted to confide in her, but would she know too much?

"Don't try to change subjects now!" Violet yelled. "Why is it complicated?"

Savannah bit her lip in anticipation of her reaction, taking a large gulp. "Because we may have slept together," she exclaimed.

She watched as Violet's eyes widened with surprise. She did not expect Savannah to tell her that they had slept together. No, she was expecting to learn that she had a crush on him. Maybe they even exchanged a small kiss, but sex. That was an entirely different ballgame. Especially if, as she suspected, Savannah had feelings for him. That was the surest way to break her heart.

Violet remained speechless as she stared in shock at the revelation. Savannah decided it was a bad idea to tell her after not hearing back. The look on Violet's face alone made her feel judged in a way. Sure, it may not have been wise for her to open up to him so quickly. Carson, on the other hand, was someone she felt comfortable with. Someone who would not simply exploit her to gain access to her body. He was not like that. At least, not with her.

Violet pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to gain a better understanding of the situation. "You slept with Carson?" She asked in disbelief.

Savannah nodded her head. "About 2 times," she admitted. "3 if you count oral."

Violet gasped. "You went down on him?"

"Don't say it like that!" Savannah frowned. "You make it sound very...dirty."

She shook her head. "It's not dirty. I'm just surprised." Violet admitted. "Who else knows?"

"Only Cole." Savannah shrugged again.

That was one of the worst things she could say. Violet was upset not only about what was going on but also because Savannah had not approached her first. They were best friends who talked to each other about everything. Why wouldn't she tell Violet when it happened? Did she not trust her with this type of information? It seemed absurd!

Violet crossed her arms, clearly annoyed. "You told Cole, but not me." She was infuriated.

"I tell Cole everything," Savannah replied quietly. "Clearly it was wise, as he did not say anything to you either." That made her smile. She knew Cole was trustworthy, and this confirmed her belief.

"That s.o.b," Violet said under her breath. "Anyway, that's why you're getting so worked up? Because you had sex?"

Savannah nodded. "Yes. It's a pretty big deal." She thought. It was a big deal to her anyway.

Violet giggled, no longer seeing the problem. "Sex is sex. It's not like you're in love with him." She then looked at her. "You're not in love with him right?"

Savannah did not respond because the answer was clear. She was in love with him and had been since they were teenagers. She waited so long to see if he would come back. Even though it took a tragedy to make it happen, he was present. A twist of fate had brought them back together, and while she lacked the courage to tell him, passing up the chance to be close to him was foolish on her part.

She also saw where Violet was coming from. Having casual coitus with someone while secretly loving them was a recipe for trouble. Carson could do whatever he wanted, and Savannah could only accept it. There is also telling him how she truly feels, but Savannah finds that too bodacious. She was still on a quest to discover happiness and what the world had to offer. Even though she had not done much yet, she could feel a shift coming on. It was best if she suppressed her thoughts for a while.

Violet knew Savannah loved him despite her lack of response. "The number one rule of casual sex is to never become attached." She informed her.

"What if I was attached before casual sex started?" Savannah wondered because that was the case. "He's so perfect Vie. I mean, the way he cuddles me after each time is amazing." She gushed.

Violet giggled. "Yeah, you're in love." She concluded. "But you have to tell him."

Savannah shook her head violently. "No, no, no! I can't do that. You want me to embarrass myself?" That's exactly what she would do too.

"It's not embarrassing it's clearing the air," Violet tried to be encouraging. "He may even feel the same way back."

Savannah's eyes rolled. "Yeah right. With the way he looks at Maeve, I doubt he has romantic feelings for me."

Violet exhaled. "Just trust me, Sav." She pleaded.

She wanted to listen to Violet, but it appeared unlikely. She noticed how those two gawked at each other whenever they could. Savannah faced stiff competition that she could not compete with. And if they did somehow magically get together, she did not want to date someone who treated her friend like candy. That would just make things weird and overly complicated. If he wanted to sleep with her, she preferred that he do so while they were not dating.

"I can't. It'll alter everything," she argued. "I would rather keep what we have going on for a while longer."

"And be jealous every time he breathes in Maeve's direction?" Violet could not grasp her logic.

Savannah sighed. "Whatever works." She had convinced herself that this was the best option.

Like clockwork, Maeve walked over and conversations ceased as Savannah didn't want her to know anything about her relationship with Carson. It was best if she continued to believe they were just friends. It may encourage her to pursue him further, but if Maeve discovers they have been sleeping together, she will be even more determined to get him.

The air thickened as the girls looked around at each other. Maeve could not understand why they had suddenly become so quiet. From afar, she could see their lips moving at breakneck speed. Now they were staring at her with nervous expressions on their faces. They must have been discussing something important, but they did not want Maeve to know. She would not ask them because she would find out what was going on eventually.

"You guys still didn't pick out swimsuits?" She asked them, holding a variety of options in her hands.

Violet sighed. "No, still looking," she said looking around again. "I just want to look great for the weekend."

Maeve frowned. "Which I'm still not invited to." She reminded them, much like Carson did.

"I'm sure you'll have a lovely weekend yourself." Savannah smiled tightly. She was reluctant to say it, but she could not deny that it was true.

Maeve smirked knowingly. "Oh, we'll see. I've never had to work this hard for something I wanted before."

Savannah rolled her eyes. "Well, there's a first time for everything." She smiled as she looked around the swimsuits again.

She sounded like a bitch, but that is because her emotions were getting in the way. If she had put her problems aside, this situation would have been much easier to deal with. Unfortunately, she could not do it and continued to despise the thought of them alone together. If she could invite them both, she would, but it was not her lake house. She had no control over the situation, and that was what bothered her the most.