Lethia POV.
I was making breakfast for us. I'm not a professional, but I knew it would not taste bad. After all, I hired a chef to teach me because I wanted to cook Roux's food myself. But every time I did, he was just going to ignore it. Just have coffee and then leave; he never appreciated me in our entire marriage.
At first, he still had a little kindness whenever my family and his family visited us, but since he found out I was pregnant, the care he had disappeared.
"You won't eat?" I asked him when I saw him leaving.
"I don't have an appetite," was his famous line whenever I asked him. I gulped and closed my eyes.
You can do this; just breathe in and out; you won't feel rage or sadness.
"Eat that," I ordered our house staff after Roux left. Roux and I are apart; his parents gifted this house to us for our wedding. I am glad, but that was a hell in my whole life.
We never shared a bedroom at first, and if we did share, I could hardly feel him inside the room. He also avoided me; even a kiss on his cheek or forehead was forbidden. Everything was casual, like we were not even married.
When he arrived home inebriated, he mistook me for Blair. We made love, but he kept saying Blair's name. Despite my best efforts, Blair remained his dream. And I despise myself for being like that.
I loathe that woman; despite her absence, he still acknowledges that woman is better than me. She always ejected me for everything, including academics, attractiveness, and talent, which I despise. I could not accept it. I'd always envied her because she was so effortless and natural.
"I hate you, Blair!" I threw a stone at a vase to release the anger building up in my chest. I don't want this to last long because it might affect my son. I have one of my maids clean the bruises.
I endured everything; even though I was ill, I still insisted on being wife material. Roux couldn't satisfy my cravings, so I always ended up wooing Raven.
"Raven, can I have a favor?" I called one time. Of course, we're family, so we had a number for each other.
"What? I'm busy; hurry up," he demanded, so I grinned. He hasn't changed; he's still the same. What happened to us was mutual; there were no hurt feelings because we knew there was nothing between us even though they believed that Raven had feelings for me.
"I need a mango apple."
"Cravings?" he asked me, and I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "I'll try to command it to my brother, bye!" He hung up immediately, gosh! Why was I counting on his support?
That night, Roux brought a bag for me; he didn't say a word and put his bag on the living room table, even though I was in front of him. I'm slow, dragging my feet, but at least I will be satisfied.
Roux was intoxicated when he arrived home the other day. When Roux was carried to the bedroom by our maid, I attempted to undress him. But I was struggling, and as a result was so enormous, it took me a while, but I eventually completed it.
I was sweaty and sitting on the bed when he abruptly sprang up.
"Blair," he mumbled. A bitter air punched out of my lungs; here we go again. "Blair, I'm coming with you."
"Roux," I called him and followed him. The whole house was bright, but no one was there because they were already asleep. "Where are you going?" He opened the door. "It's raining!" I told him, but he didn't hear anything.
Damn it! I hasten my moves to get the umbrella to follow Roux, maybe because he'll go get sick. I walked fast, but the wind was strong. I tried to hold the umbrella well, but I gave up because the wind was blowing away my umbrella.
"Shit!" I muttered a curse, and I almost couldn't see the road, but I still made a way to catch up with Roux. "Roux, let's go back!" I shouted, but only thunder and lightning shouted back at me.
My body is shaking uncontrollably. But I need to move faster until I catch up with him standing on the highway.
"I will not allow us to be like this, Roux!" I have loved him, and I was willing to give up everything just to have a happy ending with him. He was driving me insane because no matter what I do, I only get more insane. "Come on, Roux," I begged him in the middle of the rain.
"I need to see Blair! She's back." Roux was like a madman, and he's been saying that over and over since we got married. I don't know what I'm going to feel; it's like hundreds of knives are stabbing me all over my body, especially in my chest. "Let me go; Blair is waiting for me." He pushed me, causing me to fall to the floor.
It was raining heavily. I just cried. I was pregnant with our first baby, but he never claimed it.
"That's not my baby!" That was what he always yelled in my face, even in front of my family and his. "I don't have a child with you because I don't love you!" That was the rhythm of my life over and over again; it was crazy, but I needed to hold on for the sake of my baby and for myself.
This was my fault; maybe this was my karma for what I did years ago.
"Come back here, Roux!" I yelled and stood up to follow him running; whenever he was drunk, that's what he did. Running and hallucinating that Blair is here and returning to him. "She's not coming back!" I added, but he didn't listen to me.
I was chasing him at my best, and when I found him and was talking to the tree, I only cried even more. I didn't know I would be in this situation. I was a doctor and a famous vlogger, which I quit because I had to prioritize my duty as a wife.
"Let's go home, Roux," I said, nitpicking him, but he just shoved my hand away from him.
"Don't touch me! My love is going to be upset!" He hissed and pushed me. I was holding the hem of his shirt. I was shivering and my teeth were chattering, but I had to take Roux with me because it was dangerous.
"Come on, Roux, we're married. Don't mock me," I pleaded. A part of me wanted to explode because that's how I am, but I have to reduce that, especially since I'm pregnant and I'm dealing with Roux.
"No! I am married to my only love, Cbiara Blair!" He pointed out. It hurt; it was like my heart was being torn apart again and again every time he uttered those words right in front of me.
Didn't he respect our baby?
"Let's go home; it's getting cold. You're going to get sick." I worried, but I heard no answer. "Roux," I pulled him, but when he turned to me, his eyes were squinting. He was furious, so I let go of his clothes since he was giving me a dagger look. Fear is what I've been feeling.
"I said, I don't want to!" Then he pushed me hard after telling me that; he pushed me so hard that I moaned. He turned his back on me and ran, calling Blair's name.
My heart twisted. I was crying a river while looking at him running, and my position was already full of blood. I was calling for help, but it took them a long time to find me. It was too late.
***
I couldn't believe it all. I was dumbfounded after I found out that the baby didn't hold on anymore; if I had been taken to the hospital earlier, the baby would still be alive. But it didn't happen. I was holding my head with my hand and shouting at the top of my lungs. I have no life; no one knows what happened to my family; all I can say is that I slipped.
Maybe this is what you get for what you did.
The Roux family knew about it, but they shut their mouths. I was trying to talk to him about our baby, but he chose to cut it off.
"If you have nothing else to say, let's go to sleep," he suggested, and he went to bed.
Is that all there is to it? Is that really all there is to it? He wouldn't comment about what was happening or ask me if I was fvcking okay.
Tears are starting to fall on my cheeks.
"As if you are not an expert, don't be dramatic. I know everything about you, Lethia," he added. I shook my head. I was true to him; I never betrayed or did something that would destroy us; everyone knew about that. I was a good wife to him; I did everything, but why is it not enough?
I locked myself in the bathroom that night, and I cried there nonstop. I was mourning my baby's death while everyone slept soundly as if nothing had happened.