My feet led me to a small river behind my house, where we used to bathe. My mother would scold me and my father because we were both unattractive and constantly pursuing each other.
I can recall how many times Daddy and I disobeyed Mom, yet we always laughed and swam in the river. He is also my first experience with everything, including laughter, sobbing, and caresses. I was his princess, but I became his nemesis, and almost didn't want to see me again.
I wonder how is he now? My body feels like it's separated from my soul. A lot has happened today. I heard from colleagues of mine that Raven and Gretchen are getting married because their families reconciled with them. I don't know if it's true, but I feel a little pang in my chest. Or is this because of what I ate earlier?
How in hell would my heart react like this?
I've been hurt twice; how could they hurt someone they once loved? I suddenly ask myself, Am I not enough for them? Is there something wrong with me that I need to change?
But why do I feel this way?
I just chose to stand up instead of mumbling on the side. I need to cool down so that I will be aware. I was looking at where I stepped because I might suddenly stumble because of my emotion, so I was just taking everything slowly.
Even after a few years, no one knows about this oasis, which is a good thing. This portion of the forest is so remote and scary, and they have no idea that after passing through the dark tunnel, one of paradise will open up to them.
I open my arms and feel the breeze that my nose inhales. When I step into the river, the water is frigid. I feel the cold, and I stroll as if I own the entire place. I took a few steps and immersed myself a little deeper. It felt fantastic to swim, and I felt like I was losing track of what was going on in my thoughts.
I submerged for a few minutes before swimming back to the surface. I was so caught up in the beauty of the scenery that I almost missed the fact that the sun was setting. I was there to see how the beauty of the sunset faded away. Unfortunately, I don't have my phone with me.
But isn't this bizarre? We often forget to capture something peculiar or exquisite because we are overly preoccupied with appreciating it. Others, however, simply carry a camera with them wherever they go, and this is their pastime or business, which you cannot meddle with because our interests differ.
I got up near the end of the night and didn't wait for the sun to set. After I got out, I felt as if all of my problems had vanished, and I could move with the current of water. I got home fast. I was cold since I hadn't planned to take a shower, but unexpected events always happen.
After I arrived home, someone unexpectedly handed me a towel at the rear entrance of our house. When I looked up, Raven's gaze met mine. I turned away and quietly took the towel. Then I went to the restroom in the back.
What is he doing here? Wasn't it because he was with Gretchen? That's why he sent me away, so why is he here?
When I entered, he was still there and appeared to be waiting. I simply strolled past him as if he had not been spotted, then walked upstairs. I looked for something to wear, but I could still feel his eyes on me.
"What? I'm going to undress; won't you leave?" I rolled my eyes when I looked at him; his gaze was glued to mine.
"As if I didn't see it." My face turned red like a smashed tomato, so I just left there and went to the bathroom in this room.
Damn that guy! He was always getting on my nerves!
When I returned, it was still there and waiting. I rushed out and heard his footsteps following me.
"Are you my stalker?" I didn't feel like asking and was still walking. I was hungry, and I hadn't prepared yet.
"A handsome stalker then?" he asked back. He always boils my blood and increases the pressure in it.
When I arrived at the dining area, the food was ready, and it looked like it had just been placed. I stopped, so he went ahead of me. I don't know what to say.
"You must be hungry; that's why I cooked for you," he replied, even if I didn't ask him.
"I don't want to eat." I refused his offer, but my stomach rumbled just in time, so I couldn't do anything at that time but felt shy.
Shit! My stomach doesn't cooperate; it's annoying!
My feet were heavy as I walked towards the table and ate. He put a variety of food on my plate, and there was also water. I wanted to avoid him, but here he was, screaming, so I couldn't do anything because I was starving.
***
We decided to have a movie marathon, and I didn't ask him about my curiosity. He would tell me when he was ready, but don't I have the right to ask since he told me that he was courting me? Or that was just to show our deal?
But how can I make this part of our deal? Why won't he let me know so that I can know what the truth really is? It's hard to guess when I am not a fortune teller.
I want to speak, but something seems to be in my mouth that is preventing me from doing so. I don't know how long I will be mute beside him, but I was sure that I wouldn't start a conversation.
"Have you seen that movie?"
"Nope," I responded cautiously. I do not want to have prolonged communication with him. I wanted to end the interaction, thereby I was being inappropriate. "I'm going to sleep first; if you want to sleep, you can go to the guest room since it was renovated." After telling him this, I left immediately and didn't hold back.
I wanted to stop what we had, but how could I do so when I was not sure if we still had a deal? I was not sure what was wrong with us or what type of label we had. He said he was dating me, but he was getting married to Gretchen. And he was not clarifying it for me.
I took a deep breath. I shouldn't think about it anymore, and I need to sleep because I had a lot to do.
I considered taking retaliation on the Smiths again the next time. I need to cool down my name because Lethia has been in the hospital for a long time, according to the news. I was ready to fall asleep when the door opened gently. I looked at the person who had opened it.
"Are you upset with me, Blair? You haven't talked to me in a while." He looks like a youngster who hasn't received any candy; his body is behind the door, and just his face is spit out by the door. He's being sneaky with me.
"I'm just tired."
"No, you're not," he said as he walked and approached me. I didn't move and just looked at him. "I know you're doing something with me, so tell me now. I don't want you to be mad at me."
"I'm not mad." I rejected his statement. I don't want to be obvious, so I will decline what I truly feel if I want to.
"Then why is your forehead frowning? Your eyebrows are meeting; is that not because you're furious?" He pointed at my forehead, so I covered it and tortured him in my mind.
How could he notice that thing? Argh! He's really annoying at any time; just a little bit of my movement he'll notice it right away.
"Come on, Blair, let's talk about things you don't want to do." He held my hand tightly, as if he didn't want me to let go. "I know I did something you didn't like."
I sighed heavily before I burst out of what I hated.
"What really are we, Raven? What's the thing between us?" I asked him. I wanted to know if I should expect something or just keep quiet.
I don't want to add this to my mind; I want peace. But why am I bothering with it? Why can't I just shut my mouth and not care about everything?
"I want to know; I'm a mess now that I'm Raven."
"We have a deal to get revenge, right?" I was stunned. Did I just imagine what he told me or did I just say something wrong that day? I feel like my whole world stopped when he clarified it for me.
Did he really say that?
"Yeah," I swallowed.
"And I am courting you, right?" I blink my eyes. I want to throw a pillow at him because it's like he was getting everything as a thrill!
"Y-you are?"
"Did you forget it? I bet you didn't," he chuckled. "Don't you like me, Blair?"
"N-no, I mean..." I licked my lower lip and close my eyes. Oh crap, "That's not what I'm saying, but..." He didn't let me finish my sentence because he spoke immediately.
"But even if you don't like me, I will do everything to make you like me. So bear with my face; wherever you are, I will be there." Oh god, my heart wanted to jump upon hearing his words.
Both of us were going crazy!