After Calder made his revelation the room went silent, we stayed that way for the most awkward 2 minutes of my life. From there is pretty much went downhill Calder tried to explain, Ryan shouted Arti's eyes glowed at the revelation that Calder's pack has heard what he was doing but chose not to believe it, but the shocking twist was Cynthia who lost control to the point she slapped Sigurd so hard he almost fell off his chair. For someone who isn’t supposed to feel her emotions I even felt that.
The only good thing that came out of it was the fact that after she stormed off it, I chased after her, it got me out of the room and away from Calder the angrier he got the more I wanted to touch him to calm him down Seleste was internally purring and I wondered if it one point it actually came out of my mouth.
I managed to find Cynth and convince her to calm down and have some tea with me, I sat her down in a room with some huge looking armchairs and a big fireplace the walls in the room are covered in floor to ceiling bookshelves. I sit Cynth down tell her to take a few breaths and head to find the kitchen hoping they have actual tea bags.
I wander down the hall praying I come across the kitchen when I see a groggy looking wolf head towards me.
"Jackson, what are you still doing up? "
"Sel! I’ve been worried about you when you didn’t come back to the dinner and then all the stuff happened with your pack”.
I can see the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes, He really was worried about me.
"I’m just going to make some tea would you like some. Then you should probably get some sleep "
"Sure, I would love to”.
"Great can you show me where the kitchen " I link hold of his arm while giggling a little. He nods knowing full well that I’d be lost without him leading the way.
When we reach the kitchen, he puts the kettle on and pulls a tray out of the cupboard full off different tea bags I sort through just wanting a normal British tea bag I spot a small box of Yorkshire tea and I’m filled with memories of my mother.
Jackson pulls 3 mugs out of the cupboard and takes a seat on one of the stools around the island in the middle of the kitchen. I carefully place a teabag in each cup putting 2 sugars in mine and Cynthia’s cup and none for Jackson once the kettle is boiled, I pour the water and leave the tea too steep for a few moments.
All the while Jackson is filling me in on what he has been doing I finish the teas with a drop of milk. We carry on talking for a second the Jackson offers to walk me back to Cynthia and then he is going to get some sleep. Once we reach the door where Cynth is waiting I place the cups down on a unit in the hallway and give him a hug goodbye then head inside with the tea.
I hand Cynth her tea and sit in the armchair opposite its now nearly morning and I want nothing more than to sleep but she needs me right now. Slowly sipping my tea, I open the conversation.
"So ... are we going to talk about what happened back there? " I raise my eyebrows and throw her the cheeky little sister smile.
She looks up from her cups and lets out the biggest sigh, I can see she is fighting back tears.
"I think I’m losing it Sel, I’m struggling to hold my emotions when I shouldn't feel anything. And then all this stuff happening with Sigi he is so sweet, and I do feel what he feels but I can’t commit to it fully because of what I did."
She has tears streaming from her eyes and I want to go to her and hug her, but I know she needs to let this all out.
"But when I think about giving back my gift to feel again, I think of Kari and how broken I was when I lost him and now, I just don’t know what to do. And now we don’t even have an Alpha " With those last words she fully commits to the breakdown her quiet sobbing filling the room.
I go over to her and squash myself behind her sitting on the arm of the chair and I pull her close to me and hold her. I know that they both try to be so strong for me but sometimes I must be the big sister. Her crying begins to ease.
"Cynth, I don’t know what to say to you, but I know I want you to be happy and I’ve seen the way that Sigurd looks at you. I really think you could be happy with him and I know that you would have to expose yourself to feel all the emotions and you would have to give up the healing gift you were given but honestly maybe it’s time you thought about yourself”.
I stare at her as she pulls away from our embrace a half smile forming on her face.
"Since when did you get to be so wise, I’m fairly sure you only turned 21 yesterday! " She laughs at me and I know she has listened to what I’ve said.
"Sel, I think I need to sleep and then find Sigi to apologize" she heads off and I slide into her chair sitting in the warmth of the room.
As I’m sitting drifting into sleep and my own mind Seleste rings into my mind.
"Selene, you just gave great advice to our sister but what about us I want my mate”.
"Seleste. its 4 am tonight has been emotional and I just don’t know how I feel about Calder or him about me. When he is around me it doesn’t seem like he is acknowledging the bond so I don’t know if I should push for it, Mum always said that some mates don’t just click right away, I guess in this instance Dot is very lucky."
"I know his wolf wants us Sel, I feel it when he is near, he is drawn to us”.
"Only time will tell but for now we need sleep”.
It’s at this point that I realise I don’t know where I’m supposed to sleep tonight in this massive house, I could wander this house searching for someone or for an empty room or I could just sleep here. I get up and walk around the chairs in the room hoping there is a blanket on one of them.
I find a huge fluffy blanket on the arm of a chair and then I head to the seats closest to the window curling up watching the last of the moon I drift off to sleep.
I stir awake feeling someone’s arms around me tingles going through my body, I’m too tired to open my eyes and I try to speak but it comes out as incoherent mumbles. I can feel that we are moving, and I don’t want to fall so instinctively I cuddle into the chest of whoever is carrying me. Taking a deep breath as I do the most amazing smell floods my senses and I know its Calder carrying me.
I try to fight myself trying to open my eyes again until a Calder’s soft voice rings in my ears.
"Sleep Selene I’m just taking you somewhere more comfortable " I feel his lips kiss my forehead and it sends tingles though my whole body and let out a small moan at the feeling. With that I drift back into a deep sleep.
I wake up to the sun flooding into the room the smell of the clean sheets that are snuggling my body I let out a yawn and close my eyes again sinking back into the pillow. Then I’m snapped back awake.
How did I get into a bed, I sit upright looking at the room around me I don’t know where I am. There is dressing table a chest of draws and wardrobe in the room, I can see a door net to the wardrobe and a huge set of double doors at the end of the bed.
I can feel my heartbeat rising from the confusion and I’m starting to panic, I get out of bed noticing my shoes on the floor I grab them and head towards the door I can hear voices on the other side, but I don’t want to just walk out there.
Panicking even more I turn away and sit on the end of the bed my heart thumping so loud I can feel it my ears. Only too thoughts in my head, where am I? and how do I get out of here?
I hear a low growl from the other side of the door, and someone is opening the door I scramble back to the pillow end of the bed as the doors fully open.
Calder is stood their anger filling his eyes.
"Selene, what’s wrong? what’s the matter? " The anger in his eyes subsiding while he was looking at me.
I struggle to get to the words out "I’m fine”.
"I could hear your heart beating from the other room, what happened " There is sincerity in his voice but also a harshness.
"I didn’t mean to pull you away from what you were doing, I was just looking for a way out as I’m not sure how I got here”.
"I bought you here last night this is my room, I found you sleep in the library " His face is now emotionless I scoot towards the edge of the bed and climb off.
"I think I should go; I need to find my sisters " I head towards the door but before I get there an arm shoots across the open door. I panic and take a step back when the reality of it is when he is this close, I want to be in his embrace it’s like my own body is fighting me.
I look up to him, His ice blue eyes staring down at me making me a little weak at the knees it’s like he has an internal struggle. I take a deep breath which was a bad move as I end up taking a step closer to him my eyes still on him, I muster up the courage to say.
"Excuse me "
He keeps his eyes on me and edging closer there is practically no space between us now and it’s like I’m drunk on him the heat rising in my chest, I pull my eyes away as I do, he lets out a low growl but moves his arm, I practically run out of that room as fast as my legs will carry me having no idea where I’m going but I need to be away from him.