60|'You are so dead, Astrid. So dead.'

"H-How d-do you-?" "No. It's not just me. Hell, I don't even know you now but still I can see how hard you are trying to be okay for everyone else. Everyone is playing along because they are waiting for you to gather yourself but I know that you are not gathering yourself together, you are building a wall around to hide." My jaw dropped as he hit the nail. I refused to let him win. "You don't k-know anything." I got up and looked away. He grabbed my elbow and made me look at him. "Trust me, cygnet. I know. I know how it feels to be scared of trusting people. I know that you were the kind of person to hand your heart easily but now, you are scared of taking the leap of faith from the top of cliff because you are afraid that the person at the bottom will drop you. Don't let your fear consume your real emotions, swan. I have done that and it took me eternity to revive." My jaw clenched at the truth of his words but I refused to let him win. My eyes burned because of the fire in his words but I refused to shed a tear. He smirked but it didn't reach his eyes. "See. Tell me, Cygnet. Before today, were you the kind of girl to hide emotions? Were you the kind of person to blink back tears?" I gulped. "No. you were not. Don't let a handful of non-deserving assholes claim your life. Don't let them win by ruining yourself. If you keep hiding like this because of your fear of hurt, you will save yourself from others but how will you save yourself from you? Don't push the deserving people away because of the few who didn't value your trust. People will come and go. They will make you happy and hurt you too but you have to choose the ones who are worth the hurt. You have to choose the ones who are ready to be hurt by you. Don't try to find a backstabber in every person you come across, because if you do, you will destroy everyone and yourself too." My mouth went dry as I kept looking at him with wide eyes. He stared back with concern. Silence shadowed the room as I tried to absorb his words. After what felt like eternity, my mouth opened and a single word tumbled out. "Thanks." A breath taking smile took over his lips and I found myself returning it. He shrugged as if it's no big deal. "My duckling doesn't know how to swim yet and she was losing the grip on her support. How am I supposed to let her drown?" I shook my head at his poor enunciation skills but chuckled nevertheless as I looked up at him with watery eyes. "I won't let my monsters win." I whispered and he wiped my tears with his thumb. "Oh, but you will lose to your idiot." I rolled my eyes and pushed him as he chuckled. "Now get out. I have to see Liam." He frowned. "Why?" "Uh because he is my bestfriend?" I narrowed my eyes. I know that was partial truth but oh well, no one knows about his pillow talks. He nodded and ruffled my hair as he walked out. I waited for a minute to collect my thoughts. With a huff I swung myself off the bed and tightened Zach's hood around me. I wandered around the hallways and finally found the room I was in earlier today. I knocked twice and the door flew open after a minute. However, I was shocked. Beatrice was sitting there with a smile. I dragged my eyes up towards Liam and saw him smiling. I actually thought that he only smiled for me. "H-Hey?" "Come in, munchkin." I rolled my eyes but my grin said otherwise. "Uh... am I interrupting something?" I asked sceptically and he shook his head. "No, we were just talking." I nodded. "I was here for uh... you know-" "I get it." He chuckled. "Don't stress it, Astrid. You should get rest. I will be alright." I gulped in hurt. "Are y-you sure?" he nodded. I looked back at Beatrice and saw her grinning. Jealousy coursed through my blood but I held my head high. "Alright. Good night." I whispered and he smiled. "Good night." Stepping back, I left his room's threshold. I was about to turn when he grabbed my hand and before I could say anything, my face was pressed against his chest. "Please don't go, munchkin. Just send her out." he whispered. Then it clicked and I chuckled in his chest at his hopelessness with girls. "Come on do something and stop chuckling!" I just laughed harder. He pinched my waist and I yelped before I jumped out of his embrace and gave him a death glare. He sent me puppy dog eyes and I smirked in mischief just as Tris cleared her throat. "Should I uh go, Liam?" I shook my head at her. "No, no, no. Stay here, Tris. Liam was just telling me this incident he had with his boyfriend today." Liam choked and I bit my chuckle as Tris squeaked. "Boyfriend?!" I faked a frown and looked at now furious Liam. "He didn't tell you?" she shook her head like a lost puppy. "Well, our Liam is a proud gay. In fact, it will be his 3rd anniversary with Jordan, this Saturday." I pinched Liam's cheek. "Right, Liam?" "Right." He gritted out. "Oh." Beatrice nodded, slightly pale. "Well uh, I-I should go. I-It's getting late." I just smiled at her as she ran out of room. Laughing at her expression, I turned towards Liam. "See, I am your princess in shining-Ahhhhh!" I screeched as Liam lunged at me. I dodged him by an inch as I stumbled out of his range and jumped on bed. He gained his balance and stormed towards me, so I jumped on other side of bed. "You are so dead, Astrid. So dead." I yelped as a pillow hit me square on face. I removed it to glare at him but he used my distraction to cross the bed. My eyes widened and I quickly ducked out of his arms and ran on other side of room. He chased me everywhere and I finally took shield behind couch. If he tried to move right, I moved left and if he moved left, I moved right. This went on for a few minutes and then a knock on his door interrupted us. Liam again took benefit of my distraction as in a moment, I was down on floor with Liam straddling me as he tickled me. "S-Stop." "What did I hear?" "S-Stop. P-Please." "What is the magic word, munchkin?" "S-Sorry. S-Stop. Stop!" He smirked and got off me while I laid on the floor to catch my breath as he went to open the door. "I-Is everything okay? I-I heard noises." I panted behind the couch but caught Felix's silhouette. "Yes." My eyebrows shot up at hardness in Liam's voice. Is he still not over the whole insulting his family thing? Damn! I would never like to be on receiving end of Liam's grudge. Jeez, they behave like married couple in the middle of fight. Wait maybe... "Fine." Felix sighed after a few moments. Door banged shut almost instantly and I jumped on my feet with a frown towards Liam's hard expression. "You okay?" he nodded wordlessly and laid down on bed. I sighed and decided to not push it. "I know you are not, but I trust you. I believe that you will tell me when you are comfortable." I told him as I took seat next to his head and placed it in my lap. He sighed when I caressed his hair. "I will." I nodded and started my job. "How did you sleep all these days?" "Nobody slept, Astrid. When I did catch a wink, I was too tired to dream because I was living a nightmare by your absence what worse could I see?" I shook my head with a small smile. "Someone suddenly got cheesy." He chuckled. "Why was Tris here?" "To chat." He rolled his eyes. "I mean, she is sweet but you know how I am with people. I am barely comfortable around Alex and everyone. Beatrice is out of question." Silence settled for a while and I broke it with the thought that was troubling me. "So, today I talked to Liz. She is a brave girl, you know. But right now, she is broken. I mean, she lost her boyfriend and close friend in one go-" "You did too, Astrid." I bit my lip. "But I have so many people. I mean, those two never cared about me genuinely. They faked everything so why should I kill myself over them? But Liz, she had only those two. It hurts to see her alone. I did talk to her and I think she understood me but I am still worried." "Hmm. She'll be fine." Liam whispered. "I hope so. Aiden likes her, if it isn't obvious yet and I hope he will act wisely around her..." I trailed and looked down to see that Liam slept. A small smile teased my lip as I placed his head down and threw a duvet on him as I stepped out of his room. I hope our friendship stays like this forever.