33- Guess That's Dead

33- Guess That's Dead
Why had he agreed to this? It was all Imset could think as he watched Aisha wick away blood from her lip. It was stupid to push her. Dangerous. And how many times had he seen that firsthand? Obviously, not enough times to have learned. His hands shook as he leaned back in his seat.

He was an idiot that couldn't let himself have anything good. Self-sabotage at its finest, as his mother would say.

Aisha's fear tasted like dirt in his mouth, felt wrong as he watched her pale face go blank across the table. He regretted it, already: the deal he'd struck with Osiris. But it was too late to go back now. So instead, he refilled his drink.

"Unbelievable!" Horus growled across the table at Osiris, "An elder god using his power on a human! What did you hope to do? Show her how to be afraid of death, father?" He didn't even try to hide the disgust in his voice. An Imset noted how formally Horus spoke. If only just to annoy his father further. "Let's at least try to be civil at the dinner table. It is crass to behave this way over a meal."

The subtext hung like fog in the air. It's something humans would do. That had Osiris narrowing his eyes but he didn't deny it, knowing hospitality was a large part of their culture. Instead, his gaze moved to fix hard on Imset, whose body had gone tight as a bow at the sight of Anubis helping Aisha.

Neith, who sat to two seats to the right, put a hand over Imset's, stilling the fork he'd bent to a right angle. "Calm down brother," she whispered lightly. She disappeared the twisted metal and a new one clinked in its place. He felt cold and hot all at once. Wound up too tightly.

"Ais--"

Osiris snapped his fingers over whatever Imset was about to say and replied to his son, "I did not realize she would be that fragile. Sometimes I forget my own strength. Let's have dinner and pleasant conversation." Everyone noted how he refused to apologize. He would not give a human that much. In a flash of movement, platters and bowls lined the center of the table. Meats and cheeses, sauces and sauteed vegetables, bread and salad.

Aisha felt like she might be sick. Her pulse kicked again, thinking about how much power sat in this room. How it had felt to be squeezed from the inside. In her periphery, Anubis loaded some food onto her plate, gently refilling her water cup and passing it to her.

"I'm not thirsty," she mumbled to him as the table buzzed with separate conversation.

"You've been surveyed," he sighed, scooting his chair closer to the table, "You need to hydrate and eat. It takes a toll on the human body. Do you feel faint? A headache? Some nausea?"

Aisha knew she felt all of those things. But she was wary of the tricky god. He had been rubbing her the wrong way since she first met him, there was no way she would blindly trust him now.

"You don't need to mother-hen him to death," Bast said loud enough to be heard over the table. She rolled her eyes at Neith, who had not yet released Imset's hand, "Even a kiss of our power would likely hurt a human."

Aisha felt herself spinning. She hated Bast. Wanted to drag her fingernails along the goddess' throat. But she couldn't. Not only because it would be disrespectful, but because the goddess would likely murder her if she tried.

Imset didn't like the way Anubis filled Aisha's plate. The care and attention he gave her, as he passed her water. And replaced her napkin. The smug asshole felt bad now, in the face of her blood?

"Speaking of the human," Osiris waved a hand as if furthering Bast's point, "You are free to voice your opinion openly here. You need not fear any of us tonight." Imset hated the way Osiris said tonight as if her safety was not guaranteed tomorrow. And perhaps he hated it because it was true. She would never truly be safe unless they wed.

"Aisha." Imset heard himself say, not recognizing the hardness in his own voice, "Her name is Aisha." Had he ever felt quite so frustrated with his grandfather? He had technically asked for this. And yet he didn't want it any longer.

When Imset had gone to see his grandfather on Tuesday, he'd been shaken to his core. Aisha hadn't cringed or shown an ounce of fear in the face of his wrath. That had never happened before. With his previous consorts, they hadn't feared his violence when it was directed at the people they hated. But they'd been unable to hide their unease outside of that. Hadn't been able to differentiate the human from the crime. Hadn't been able to see that they deserved it.

But Aisha had. She'd heard his explanations and let him do his job. She hadn't balked or begged for any of them. And that left him rattled. His heart ripped wide open. He'd never had a consort accept that about him and the flush of genuine terror that went through him...? It led him to make a stupid agreement with Osiris.

Leaving Aisha alone for the rest of the week had sounded fine at first. He could temper his body's needs as he often had. He could temper his longing until he could see her again. But, Imset had not accounted for how difficult it would be to watch her suffer. Over the last week, he'd watched her wilt into herself, a flower without sun. His flower. It had taken everything in him not to answer her calls. And when he finally saw her again, dripping in the shower, he had lost his mind to her. He couldn't keep himself from proving his devotion to her one last time. Before they got here and she was exposed to... well he wasn't entirely sure what Osiris had planned. And perhaps that was the scariest part.

Anubis leaned over Aisha's shoulder, "Do you want a refill?" She followed his finger to her glass, nodding.

"I can ref--" Imset began.

Anubis held up a hand, raised her glass to his nose, and inhaled. When he set it down once more, it was refilled.

"Thank you," she mumbled, tucking herself in closer to him. Imset stiffened. And then he felt Bast's hand wandering under the table and moved sharply.

Aisha didn't like Anubis-- didn't trust him. And yet he was making her feel safe. Because she was alone among gods. And that was Imset's fault. He should have been the one to reassure her.

He watched her gulp at the drink, her eyes flicked up to his, then rolled over to Bast. He hated that. Hated that his grandfather had invited the goddess without his knowledge. It had nothing to do with testing Aisha and everything to do with testing Imset himself. It was a low tactic, reminding him what his brothers had cautioned... Osiris was trying to drive them apart. And like the idiot he was, Imset had given him a perfect opportunity to do so.

"So, Aisha," Isis breathed, "I hear you are in college. What are you studying?" Slowly everyone else began to fill their plates, letting the earlier tension pass in the din of small talk.

Aisha paused, her gaze confused as if she were searching for the right words, "M-majes--"

"Oh, darling just call me Isis. I'm far too old to be wrinkled by formalities." All of them knew the statement was directed at her husband.

"Um," Aisha laughed, her shoulders relaxing, "I'm getting a Bachelor's in Anthropology with a specialty in Egyptian history."

"Huh, so that's why you're so well-versed in our traditions?" Horus asked, eyes crinkling in the corners. Aisha's mouth hung open like she didn't expect him to be so informal, "I knew it when I heard your call. Such fierce intention. And the care with which you anointed my statue. You should be proud to be one of the few who has earned my attention.”

Bast reached for a bowl of salad, spooning it onto her plate, "If she knew so much about tradition, then why is she at the formal dining table in something meant for the bedroom?"

"I'm right here," Aisha snapped her eyes away from Horus, "If you want one you can simply ask me where I got it." Serket cackled loudly. Imset's pupils dilated, his blood pressure tipping up. Aisha was like a walking drug to him. She'd become so used to hiding her fight that he wasn't sure she would have what she needed tonight. But there was hope for her yet.

Bast glared. Then as if to spite Aisha, ran her hand along Imset's jaw, gripping it roughly as if to pull his attention back to her, "Did he tell you about me?"

"Stop it," Imset growled, pulling back to snatch her hand away. He noticed Osiris’ eyes lit with malice and it unsettled him.

"Oh, now you don't want me touching you?" Bast rolled her eyes, grabbing him below the table, faster than he could stop her.

"I only wish to enlighten her. Surely she'd want to know who has been sharing your bed."

She cupped him harshly, "Or have you at least told her how many of her kind you've had? How many conso--"

"Stop!" he roared, sending enough power through the air that her arms were pinned at her sides. Imset breathed heavily, rage coloring his vision red as he tried to temper himself. Aisha wouldn't meet his eyes and it was a spear to the gut. What was he doing? This dinner was a mistake. What he'd asked his grandfather to do was terrible. He needed to stop it. He needed--

"Release her," Osiris said calmly, "She will behave. Won't you, Bastet?"

A growling hiss was her only reply as Imset let her go. She snarled something animal, scooting her chair away from him to return to her wine.

Cold dread washed over Imset's body. When his grandfather had first posed the idea of provoking Aisha’s anger, Imset had agreed. Probably too easily if he really thought about it. Anger and rage would help ensure she passed the final test but his grandfather had no motive to help her win. Imset should not have trusted it. And yet, insecurity got the best of him. He wanted to know if he could keep her. Wanted to know if she could truly be his before he dug himself further into his emotions. It was weak, he knew that. He was used to control in every way. Used to power. But with the future of his consort, he had neither.

"Are any of us expected to keep our appetites at this dinner?" Nephy asked, "Because the power trip in this room makes me want to barf. And Bast has basically aired her filthy panties at the table. I feel like I need a shower."

"You're not alone sister," Serket snarled, "I lost my appetite as soon as I saw the present company."

Osiris turned his eyes to the heavens, "I've lost all hope in humanity."

"Well, I'm sure that happens when you're used to seeing us at our lowest. No one should be measured by their worst day," Aisha said softly. Imset could see the false calm in the thump of the veins in her neck.

"I completely agree," Horus chimed in, "But I have to admit, I've seen a lot of humans do terrible things. I find their morals confusing."

"So have I," Aisha admitted, "And I'm not saying those terrible things should be forgiven. But, I think most people are good. And basing the worth of all of humanity on their disposition at death seems unfair."

"You'd presume to know what humanity is like at death's door? You mean to tell me humans have been exceptionally good to you?" Osiris leaned back in his seat, "Because your friend told me the exact opposite."

The world went out from under her feet. Aisha left the room for a moment, her mind unable to process what Osiris had just implied, before careening back into herself with enough force to rock her seat. Like a boomerang snapping home.

"Maybe this isn't the best dinner conversation," Anubis mumbled, urging Aisha to eat or drink or do anything other than shiver and shake her head, no.

Aisha swiveled slowly, hearing the distant roar of an argument start around the table. But she could only see Anubis. Could only see the flash of Aiko's face in his eyes as she forced herself to meet his gaze. He could tell her the truth right now. Could give her at least a small measure of closure.

Gods, the room was suddenly freezing. Anubis grabbed her hand.

"You've seen her?" Was that her voice? Roughened with emotion and so small... Pain. Pain unlike anything she'd ever felt before swelled in her chest enough that she gasped. A raw, jagged wound ached inside her. A wound she had tried to cover with silence and hope and vengeance. A wound she only felt when she was alone in her apartment. Or on the phone with Aiko's mother.

The pain she hadn't let herself feel threatened to drown her now.

Anubis looked away, his skin darkening until it was like night. Aisha told herself to breathe, told herself that she would deal with his divinity later. For now, she needed to know, needed to show him she could handle hearing it.

"Yes," he said finally as if he'd lost the will to lie. Or finally remembered that he needed to tell the truth.

"S-she's..." Aisha couldn't find the words. Had the breeze stopped blowing? So much stifling heat. A cold hand touched her shoulder. She flinched, drew back like she'd been struck. Had the room grown smaller? "I-I can't..."

Anubis spun her to face him, both of them ignoring the growing raucous around the table. Aisha was only distantly aware of Imset's voice. His aggressive, sharp sound.

"Breathe." Anubis focused her on his voice, on the smooth chill of it. Like a frosty winter dawn, "Come on, take a deep breath for me, Aisha." The sound of air being forced through her nose brought her back to reality. She turned to see Imset standing, locked in a fierce yelling match with his father and grandfather. The rest of the room delved into various small arguments. Bast glared openly at her.

"Aisha," Anubis nudged her shoulder, "They don't matter right now. D-do you want... to... talk to her?"

Her heart sputtered. Yes. Gods, yes she would love to hear her voice one last time. To say goodbye. To ask... to ask what had happened. To...

"Yes," she wheezed, her chest too small for the pain that wanted to burrow there. Her muscles too tired to hold in the agony.

"Aisha?" a soft voice, gentle as the breeze came from the empty seat next to her. Her head began to turn before she could stop herself. Anubis held her firmly in place.

"Aisha, the living can never see the dead... you... cannot look," his voice was so far away. Her head was too loud, staticky and cluttered.

"Aisha--I've missed you so much," Aiko's soft relief came like a whisper on the wind. It wrecked her. Cracked her wide open to the marrow of her soul. A ragged, desperate sound clawed its way out of her throat. When had she stopped being able to see? Tears as thick as a film covered her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Aisha whispered. Or maybe she only said it in her head. Nothing made much sense anymore. Her body seemed to be spiraling away from her. A well of emotion dragged her down. Aiko continued to speak but Aisha wasn’t hearing most of it. Or if she did, her mind wasn’t processing it now.

"Don't do this, Aisha," Aiko pleaded, her voice suddenly strong and adamant, "Have mercy, please."

Have mercy. Now the sounds around her were growing boisterous, raging. She couldn't make sense of anything except Anubis' cool hands. And her shattered chest. A terrible sharpness, pressure under her skin. Surely everyone could see her bleeding out now. Could see how fragile she really was beneath all the anger. Where was Imset? Why wasn't he here with her? Helping her? Have mercy. The words themselves were merciless. Clanging through her with reckless abandon. Aiko didn't approve of what she had done... or what she intended to do.

Gods, Aisha's hands were shaking so badly. Or the world was shaking around her.

"Aisha...?" The voice was male. Familiar. But the name... even her name sounded foreign. Wrong somehow. Her hands and feet had lost feeling, her eyes clouding over. When was the last time she'd breathed? A gasp ripped out of her. Maybe two. She couldn't...

"Aisha!" a sharp shake. Tears rattling loose. Gods, everything hurt so much. Death would be easier.

"Please." What she asking? Or telling? What was she trying to say? Who was she asking?

A sweet candy scent and the light buttery smell of Aiko hit Aisha's nose, "I know you, Aisha. You don't want to do this."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" A female voice.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR EVERLOVING MIND?!" A male.

"...SHOULD BE ASHAMED!" Another female. A crashing bang. Shouting.

Gods, things were getting so far away. Aisha felt herself falling through space and into darkness. Warm liquid dripping down her nose. She wanted to go to the dark and stay. Forever. She wanted to be wherever Aiko was.

"Aisha, you're having a breakdown, okay?” Sound filtered through whatever haze she was in. 

“I don't know where you've gone but you need to come back, okay?" She couldn't do anything. Couldn’t even tell her eyes were open or closed...

"I'm putting you to sleep," the voice came again, “You need to reset. To… rest…” Anubis? His voice was tight, strained. Unsteady. Strange. It had never sounded like this before. Multi-layered and echoed.

"I'm sorry... I didn't realize... your pain is like…” a sharp inhale.

“Just... sleep.”