Chapter 62 – November 11th

Cayden:

I watch her run away as I let a sigh escape my mouth out of frustration. I can't just let her leave me like that. She tells me she loves me then leaves me? Is the definition of love for her is to leave someone behind?

Noah looks at me as I felt the tears trickle down my face. She's the first person to hurt me this bad besides my own father. Everything turned into chaos after finding out about my dad's engagement with Hailey's mom. I was unable to react properly when I found out about it.

I can't believe what I'm going to say right now but, Hailey is one of my biggest weaknesses. She hurts me so good and loves me so bad at the same time. The irony of her hurting and loving me is making me want her more and more. I want all of her.

"I'm so sorry about that, dude, " Noah says. I look up at him as I continue to let my tears flow down on my own cheeks. "Girls can be confusing at times, and they can be very hard to deal with."

"Trust me, I know how to handle my girl."

"But she doesn't know how to handle her own man, " Noah says, "Look, man. I know that you and Hailey's situation is confusing, very and I know that I should just mind my own business but, she keeps on pushing you away, and you keep on stepping forward, towards her and a lot of people are getting hurt; along the way."

"It's just... Amelia was hurt because of Hailey. You were hurt because of Hailey, and I don't want any of us to get into more trouble if you keep on chasing someone who doesn't even want you anymore."

Truth hurts, and Noah's right. I can't argue with him about it because everything he said was true, and I keep on ignoring the fact that Hailey is giving up about everything we've gone through.

"And, if she keeps on leaving you like this and keeps on pushing you away, then it's clear that she doesn't want to be involved in any situation that includes you in it, besides being your stepbrother, " Noah says as I look down at my hand. My hand fits hers perfectly, a hand that she keeps on holding, keeping it warm.

A nurse and a doctor enter the room as I lay down properly on my bed. The doctor walked towards me with his stethoscope hanging around his neck, the nurse holding a clipboard and a pen. "You woke up too soon, " the doctor says, "But anyway, it's better than never. Let me just check your vital signs."

"I'll just step outside, " Noah announces as I watch him exit the room, leaving me with the doctor and nurse as the doctor checks my vital signs and as the nurse writes down what he says.

I miss her, telling me that she loves me. I miss her arguing with me about simple things. I miss the way she holds my hand. I miss her embrace. I miss the way she kisses me back. I miss every piece of her, longing for me every single day and every single night.

I feel so empty without her, and she's the only person who made me feel this way. The person who filled the void inside my heart, replacing all of the negative things with positive things. She completes me, and I know that she is nothing without me, and she doesn't have to say it because I can tell by looking into her brown, alluring eyes.

I fell in love with the girl who hurts my heart so well. I fell in love with Hailey, and I don't regret any of it, especially her. Loving her was not a mistake. I loved her because it's my choice, and I was meant to, not because I just wanted to but, I do, and I did.

***

My dad and my little brother soon enter the hospital room. Noah was fast asleep on the couch. Will ran towards me, holding a paper in his hand. My dad helped him get up from the bed, and Will sat down beside me as I hug him.

"I drew you something, " Will says as he hands me the piece of paper with a drawing of a girl and a guy. "But I'm not yet finished with it, " Will says as he grabs the paper from my hand and tries to climb down the bed as I watch him walk towards the couch where Noah is.

My dad grabbed a vacant chair and pulled it towards the bed. As soon as he was satisfied with his chosen spot, he sat down and faced me. "How are you feeling?" he asks. I gave him a look without saying anything.

He knows that I am still mad about their engagement. 4 months have passed about me, knowing about their relationship and their engagement, and up to this day, I'm still mad at him. I know he didn't know, and he fell in love but, there are millions of girls out there, and he chose to fall in love with Hailey's mom.

"Are you still mad at me for not telling you about the engagement?" He asks me as I look at him blankly without uttering a word. "Cayden—"

"You know what makes me madder? It's the fact that you kept your engagement from me, and you keep on acting that you didn't know that I was dating Hailey and that you also knew that it was her mom."

"Cayden, I really have no idea that you and Hailey were dating, and I have no intentions of keeping the engagement from you. It's just, you found out about it sooner, " He says as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"And when were you planning on telling it? When Hailey and I decided to break up?" I questioned him as he shakes his head as I look away from him. "You know, ever since you dated her mom. Everything turned into chaos."

"I'm sorry, Cayden. I know that it is all my fault; just don't blame Hailey's mom for this. This is all me," He says.

"Yes! It's all you! It's your fault!" I screamed at him. I see Noah and Will looking at us as Noah covers Will's ears. I let an exhausted sigh and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I opened up my eyes and looked at my dad.

"Just leave," I said as I looked away from him. I wanted to spit the pride that I have swallowed. I acted this way because of love, and I never knew that love would turn me into someone so cruel and cold.

"I sincerely apologize for everything. I hope you can forgive me for everything that I have done, " My dad says, "Come on, Will. It's time to go home. Your brother needs to rest."

I watch Will run towards the door. I didn't look behind me until I heard the door shut. I turn around and just looked at the door. I can see that from the corner of my eye, Noah stands up from the couch.

"This has gone too far, bro. You don't have to blame your father all the time for what has happened between you and Hailey. Everything happened for a reason, and it's either you hold on to it or let it go, " Noah says, "I'm leaving. I'll call Logan to stay here with you for the night. I'm going to check on Amelia. See you tomorrow."

Noah sounded cold. He's right, and I can't believe that he's the only person who has a stable mind right now. I hate Noah for always being right. Whenever I did something I thought I was right, he's the first person to tell me and made it realize that everything I'm doing it for myself and not for the sake of others. I am a selfish person. In fact, I was too selfish.

***

I suddenly woke up at around 4 AM morning. I look around the room and saw Logan fast asleep on the couch. I decided to get out of bed. I help myself get up, slipping on some slippers and holding the dextrose in my hand. I twisted the doorknob and quietly opened the door.

I successfully left the room without waking Logan up. I started walking towards the elevator and waited for it to stop on my floor. Once the elevator doors opened, I entered and clicked the button on the highest floor.

I went up to the rooftop of the hospital. Knowing that it may be off-limits but, I don't care anyway. I walked over the edge of the rooftop and watched the city lights below me. I sigh as I try to let the pain go all at once, and I just seem to let it go—let her go.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting?" I hear Logan's voice behind me. I turned around and pursed my lips. "Dude, It's like 4 in the morning."

"Why is it so hard to let go, someone you love? Especially when you think that it's not yet over like you just get this feeling that it's not over."

Logan walked towards me and looked at the city, "I have a confession, " he says, "I liked Hailey, and I could say that the way she looks at you hurts me." I look at Logan with a questioning look. I don't know if I should be mad about him or what.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, sounding a bit pissed.

"What it means is, when I told her I liked her... She never gave me that kind of look the way she looks at you, the look of finding yourself in someone's eyes that you are in love, and I think that she sees herself with you, and she's just completely selfless for putting others happiness first over hers."

"She lost me. She gave up on me, " I told him as I try swallowing the pain. She gave upon us.

"She did give up on you, so does that mean you're going to give up on her that easily?" Logan asks. "I've talked to your dad when you were sleeping a while ago and, I think you two need to talk, " He said.

"What can I possibly tell him? What do you want me to say to him? That it's alright for me to see him get married to a woman that whose daughter I love?"

"Tell him everything. Tell him what you feel—your feelings. Tell him the truth, that it is hurting you so much, it makes you want to die, " Logan says as I let the tears escape my eyes.

I will never forget those last words my mom said to me before her life was taken away. She told me that 'you need to keep on fighting for the person you love, no matter how much it hurts because, at the end of the day, it'll all be worth it.

And I think I'll be taking her advice this time. And this time, I will tell my dad the truth—my feelings for Hailey, and I just want to keep on spending every second of every minute of every hour of every day with her.

No one else but her.