Chapter 34 34
Another city to go to college?
The words didn’t just land; they detonated in the middle of the foyer, blowing apart the fragile warmth of the little celebration. All the confetti might as well have turned to ash. She’d delivered the decree and was already turning to leave, as if the conversation was over, as if my entire future was just another item on her to-do list she could check off.
My voice stopped her, sharper than I meant it to be. “I’m not going to attend college in another city.”
She paused, her back still to me, then slowly turned. Her expression was one of pure, icy disbelief. “Excuse you?”
I inhaled, a shaky breath that felt like dragging in broken glass. I looked behind me at Granny and Quinta, their faces frozen in dismay, then I forced myself to look back at her. “I want to attend Seal College. The city’s institution. Here.”
“And why is that?” The question was a trap, delivered in that flat, disinterested tone.
“I…” My mind scrambled. Because my friends are here? Because it’s familiar? Because the thought of being shipped off to some strange pack’s territory, alone, made my stomach clench with dread? None of those reasons would matter to her.
She didn’t wait for a real answer. She provided her own, cruel and precise. “So you can stay close? So you can still visit your father?” Her lip curled, just slightly. “Sitting by his bedside won’t make him regain consciousness any sooner, Arielle. It’s a waste of your time.”
Quinta gasped, a soft, pained sound. Granny stepped forward, her gentle face hardening. “Hey, Serena. Stop it. That’s enough.”
“Why, Mother?” my mother shot back, her gaze cutting to Granny. “She should face reality. She should live her own life, not cling to a ghost.”
Quinta slapped her palm to her own forehead. “Oh, Agatha,” she groaned to Granny. “Why is your daughter like this? On a night like this?”
My mother shot Quinta a warning look so potent the old woman actually took a half-step back and looked down at her shoes. But I was done being cowed by those looks.
“I don’t care what you think or say, Mother,” I said, the words coming out clear and steady, surprising even me. “Going to some faraway city isn’t what I want. I don’t have to go far away to ‘better my life,’ or whatever you think that means.”
“Really?” The single word dripped with sarcasm.
“Yes.” I took a step toward her, my own anger giving me a dangerous courage. “I’m sure you want me to go far away so you can have Aidan transfer to a high school here to finish. That way, you’d finally get rid of the disappointing daughter for a few years and have your perfect son close by. Isn’t that it?”
Her eyes flashed, a rare show of true emotion—anger. “Is that what you think?”
“Maybe. But don’t fret. I won’t trouble you. I just want to go to Seal College. That’s it. Nothing else.” With that, I walked right past her, my shoulder brushing against hers. I didn’t look back. I headed straight for the stairs, my heart hammering a frantic rhythm against my ribs.
As I climbed, I heard Quinta’s muttered complaint, loud enough to carry. “Hey. You ruin parties sometimes, Serena. Why? The girl is upset now.”
My mother’s response floated up, cold and clear, chasing me up the steps. “I don’t care about her moods.”
That did it. I stopped dead in the middle of the staircase. I turned and looked back down at her. She was still standing amid the sad decorations, a statue of indifference.
She glanced up at me, then away, addressing Granny and Quinta as if I were already gone. “She has to improve. By force, if necessary. And I will make the right decisions for her.”
The fury was a white-hot wave. It broke over me, washing away the last of my fear. “I’m not a child!” I shouted down, my voice echoing in the high space. “I’m nineteen, for damn sake! You don’t get to make ‘right decisions’ about my life anymore!”
She glared up at me, a look that would have sent Gammas scattering. But I didn’t care. I held her gaze for one more furious second, then turned and marched the rest of the way up, my footsteps loud and final on the wood.
I burst into my room and locked the door behind me, the click a satisfying sound of separation. I leaned against the wood, my chest heaving.
What is it with her? I was done. Done trying to understand the icy block where her heart should be. Done waiting for approval that was never coming.
My eyes, blurry with unshed angry tears, landed on my laptop, sitting on my cluttered study table. The glow from its sleep mode was a tiny beacon in the dim room.
I pushed away from the door and walked over to it. I flipped it open, the screen brightening to life. My fingers flew over the keyboard before I could second-guess myself. I typed in the web address I’d looked up a dozen times but never dared to complete: Seal College Admissions.
The familiar homepage loaded. My cursor hovered over the button I’d stared at for weeks: APPLY NOW.
I hesitated. I looked back at my door, half-expecting to hear her footsteps, her voice ordering me to stop. But there was only the quiet hum of the house.
That was it. That was all the permission I needed—her silence.
I sat down, pulled the laptop closer, and started filling out the form. My name. My pack affiliation. My mediocre high school grades. Every field felt like an act of rebellion. The essay question—Describe a challenge you have overcome—almost made me laugh bitterly. I typed a generic paragraph about ‘adapting to change,’ the biggest lie of all. I didn’t mention a cheating boyfriend, a comatose father, or a mother who saw me as a persistent flaw.
My finger hovered over the trackpad. The cursor sat on the SUBMIT button, glowing softly.
I took a deep breath, held it, and clicked.
There was a spinning wheel, a moment of suspense that stretched tight in my chest. Then the screen refreshed.
A new page loaded. Simple, clean text in the center.
APPLICATION SUBMITTED SUCCESSFULLY.