Shadow between us

Shadow between us
DAVID'S POV

I stayed in the empty space as I stared on into the dark, eyes wide open as the only thing that spread into the dim room was the streetlight that flickered through the window blinds.

I turned my gaze away from the ceiling to the bed. The sheets laid perfectly there, untouched, my heart clenched as the realization panged me like a taunt. The silence felt heavy as if the house grieved for the stillness in the atmosphere for itself as I stared at the part Jessica usually laid on only leaving her scent and nothing else.

She was gone. But not completely far, just maybe. But with the way she looked at me like I was a stranger and that was worse than any goodbye.

All I wanted her to see was a man who loved her and not the monster I used to be. But now, I failed.

I had become a monster for her and now, she fears me. I sucked in a deep breath as I turned over to the other part of the bed where she always slept as I clutched the pillow and took it to my nose — smelling the faint scent her shampoo had on it.

I wanted her. Wanted to hold her tighter and sniff every area of her hair so I could sense her scent but it only hurt more as I reminded myself I was nothing but a monster to her.

I closed my eyes as the memories of that night flashed to my head.

Maybe she was right. I could have just hurt him a little and laid him off with a stern warning. I had thought I won until now I realized that I lost. I lost her.

I shook my head trying to wave off the images but it stayed there, clear and vivid. The sound of crackling fire, Andre's screams echoing in the empty room and then there was I who stood with blood splattering to my face. I had felt the rage that burned in my eyes but I cared less.

“You touched her.“ I had growled like an animal and failed to have mercy once his pleas rang through my ears.

I had marched forward and pressed the burning iron to his arms to let it melt in. I never stopped as I curled my lips into a smirk and pressed it onto his flesh with more strength. The way his eyes had gone wide even before the flame danced, the way he was already wet and peed on his pants as I brought the hot iron close to him…

I snapped my eyes open, away from my thoughts and to the present. I jolted upright in the bed, sweating profusely,hands trembling as my own actions haunted me.

I got down from the bed and let my barefoot step onto the cold floors. Now, the house felt too big for one that every sound echoed — even the creak of the door, the ticking of the clock and the hissing of the wind through the open window and that gave me creeps.

I stepped into the living room where her jacket still lay, thrown over the arm of the couch. I walked over and picked it up before holding it to my chest.

I didn't do it for justice. I did it because she broke and I never wanted to see her bleed anymore. I wanted to bleed her instead but now, she is gone. Away from home. Away from me because I had bled too much.

I put my hands in my pocket and then I felt my phone in it. An idea snapped through my mind, my lips curled into a weak smile as I brought out the phone and pressed the power button letting the phone's screen lit up to my face.

I went to my messenger app and tapped her name. The space was empty as if reminding me of the situation as I let my fingers hover over the keypad.

“Jessica, I broke you. I broke us. I don't know how to fix it but I could still burn the whole world if it meant keeping you safe. I miss you.“ I ended the text and stared at it for a long time before my hand reached the cancel button, I tapped it and that way, I deleted the text. My chest tightened as if I had done another abomination.

But my phone's screen was there to show my reflection. It felt unforgiving. My eyes were bloodshot, hair in a mess as my jaw was clenched and then I spoke loud enough that anyone could hear as I spoke to myself.

“You always said I wasn't a monster so why now? Why do I feel only alive when I am covered in blood?“

I moved away from where I stood beside a couch and paced the room. Frustration laced in my face and I saw myself punching against the wall, hard and I never stopped even when my knuckles bled until my fist was weak not to let even my fingers pierce into my palm.

It was evening, I stood up from the floor where I had sat to the bedroom where I dropped to my knees weakly and killed out the wooden box that was underneath the bed. It was old with scratches and even burn marks on the bodice.

I opened it and took out the photos in it. My eyes scanned everyone of them until I paused once I saw a photograph of the younger me, in uniform, emotionless with a military tag clipped onto my clothing.

I stared at it for a while and in it was a crumpled letter mum had written me to care for Victor and now, all was done.

I never wanted this version of me but maybe that was all I ever was — a weapon wearing a man's skin.

With a minute stare, I put everything back into the box except the photo of Jessica that I had and held into my palms like everything depended on it but it was just the genesis of my humane self.

I poured myself a glass of whiskey as I sipped on it with the photo in my hand.

“She better without me.“ I muttered as if I made a confession.

“But if anyone dares touch her again, I would be every definition of ruthless they never felt. I would become the monster they thought I was.“

As I made the confession, it was as if the universe approved. The candle light that wa
s the only thing that flickered in the darkness blew off.