Chapter 8

Amanda took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, she was trying so hard to behave like her sister but she couldn't control herself, she hadn't been with a man who evoke this weird desires in her but this had to stop.

She yanked her hand away from his.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

He smirked. "Does it make any sense that I can no longer see you as the spoilt brat that you are"

Amanda scoffed getting fed up with his arrogance, she didn't care if Alisha loves him or not but right now, she had to speak up her mind.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Xavier. You make me sick. You've been handed everything your whole life, been pampered and waited on hand and foot..."

"Shut it!" He thundered, angrily.

A discreet cough sounded nearby and they both turned around to see a uniformed man waiting. "Signor and Signora Da Silva, your dinner is served. If you'd like to come through to the dining room..."

"You're wrong, you know"

Amanda looked up from her plate warily. She felt a little sick to her stomach.

Xavier wasn't looking at her. He was cradling a half-finished glass of wine, looking into its ruby red depths.

His mouth thinned. “Although I won't deny that I had a privileged upbringing, but I had wished so many times that I had Salvador's life"

He took a sip of wine and looked at her. His eyes were very dark and hard and seemed to bore right through her. No emotion.

"Salvador is my stepbrother. He's not my father's son. My parents agreed to a planned marriage...a marriage of convenient like ours but unknown to him, my mother was carrying another man's child, she didn't want to have her child out of wedlock and knowing the scandal she would bring to her family, she didn't tell my father about her pregnancy but after Salvador was born, my father couldn't stay deceived for long, it was impossible for his son not to take after him, not a single trace of the Da Silva's feature. So he had a DNA test conducted and it was confirmed. He couldn't drive her away because of the humiliation his family would suffer, so in public, he pretended that Salvador was his son but inside the house, he was a monster to Salvador.

I don't know if that act of betrayal made him that cynical, but I hated growing up with him, he had a bar at the house where he gets drunk and he would beat up Salvador and I. I really didn'tunderstand his hatred towards me at that time but he said when he saw Salvador and I, he saw my mother and he's reminded of her betrayal.

When Salvador was sixteen, my father took a belt to him, I was in the room too, due to be next. He beat up Salvador so badly and made Salvador so pissed and fought back. He threatened to tell the public and ruin the reputation of both families if my father ever lifted a hand to touch me or him again."

Amanda gasped softly. "But you must have been just..."

"Thirteen. My father never touched me again after that day. And a year later, Salvador left home for college. He directed his rage to my mother and would hit her at the slightest provocation. He controlled my life, I could paint very well before, but he burnt everything, I was jealous of Salvador because he could do anything he wanted to do but I was caged, and he had to secure a marriage I originally was against for me"

Amanda's throat hurt. Remorse filled her. "Xavier, I'm sorry for what I said... I had no right to assume anything"

His face was stark. "I'm telling you this because we're man and wife and you should know these things about my family, but I don't want to talk about it again."

Amanda bit her lip and then said in a rush, because she had to know. "But how can you of all people be happy with a marriage of convenience when you came from what you did"

His eyes flashed at her for her impudence.

"At first, I was angry about it, I still believed in those lies. I started looking at this marriage in a different perspective when I realized that my father was right about women. But don't quote me wrongly, I'm not like my father, I'd never hit you. Just because my parents didn't provide me with good examples doesn't mean that I can't forge a successful partnership based on mutual respect"

His eyes held hers captive and Amanda quivered inwardly when he added throatily. "And desire."

Amanda knew right then that Xavier's threat hadn't been an empty one. The next time he touches her, they wouldn't be stopping.

God! Why hasn't Alisha shown up already?

********

The following evening, Amanda sat on the far bank of the small lake behind the house and sighed deeply. The sky was a glorious twilight infused blue backdrop, and a full moon already hung low in the sky. Golden lights flooded out from the long windows at the back of the resort and threw a glittering reflection on the still surface of the dark lake.

It was so magically beautiful that her heart ached. She still reeled from her conversation with Xavier last night. Things had gotten heated so quickly and she hadn't been able to control her emotions or her physical reaction. It was becoming rapidly clear that when Xavier touched her, she went up in flames and she was terrified of getting badly burnt in the process. He shouldn't have the ability to be touching her emotionally. But she knew he did and that was very scary. The only way she could protect herself would be to try and maintain her distance, even if ultimately she was unsuccessful.

She thought again of what he'd revealed about his childhood. He'd obviously hated telling her...she wondered why he had...he didn't strike her as the kind of person who cared about what she thought of him.

But now, she could see where his intense ruthlessness came from. His family was willing to do anything to maintain financial stability and their reputation. She suddenly started to miss her father, he was a very warm and understanding person who didn't care about what anyone thought of him.

The rest of the dinner last night had been stilted and Amanda had escaped as soon as she could. That morning, one of the workers had told her that Xavier would be out all day, inspecting the estate. The time alone hadn't served to give Amanda any sense of regaining control of her emotions. She'd been on edge all day.

She couldn't help the sensation of having been flayed inside, as if strips had been torn off her own tender inner body.

Just then a movement caught her eyes and her gaze snagged on a tall, powerful figure of Xavier emerging from the golden light of the house. Amanda shrank back but knew logically that he couldn't possibly see her across the lake. Her body tightened in a far too familiar way as she drank him in almost hungrily. The broad strength in his shoulders tapered down to a lean waist and those long legs. Even from here, she could see the unleashed power in his tautly muscled form.

With extreme reluctance, Amanda finally got up and made her way back to the resort, feeling very much as if she was voluntarily walking into the lion's den.

*********

Xavier waited in the lounge that evening for his wife to come in for dinner. He took a sip of whiskey and relished the burn of velvet smooth liquid as it slipped down his throat.

The previous evening had left a bitter taste in his mouth all day, he hadn't been able to get her face out of his mind.

He couldn't fathom why on earth he suddenly felt so compelled to share something with her. He had even went as far as telling her his childhood so that she wouldn't see him as a pampered son of Cesario Da Silva.

She was sending him into an orbit of confusion, but he had to fight this strongly. At the hands of his father, he'd learnt an early lesson not to expect love or support and yet he revealed a mortifying streak of vulnerability and had foolishly thrown caution to the wind when Selena Perez had whispered lies in his ears that she loved him. Never again would he be deceived.

A sound came from the door, and Xavier had to force his tensed muscles to relax. He turned around. She stood in the doorway and as soon as her image registered on Xavier's retina, his blood ran hot in his veins.

But he just smiled graciously and saw color tinge her cheeks.

Amanda walked in and sat down quietly. Xavier sat down and filled a glass cup with water.

"I noticed you always finish a cup of water before eating."

She nodded, heat climbing up into her cheeks, in comparison to her, Xavier looked as cool as a cucumber Before he handed her the glass, he took her hand and Amanda tried hard not to flinch. She looked at him, warily. His eyes were molten and dark.

"I don't want us to argue anymore, cara (dear). And I must confess I didn't know giving you space would be so tedious, but I can certainly wait since there’s just three days remaining," he drawled.

He gave her the glass of water, lifting up his own glass high. "To a long and successful marriage."

With utmost reluctance, Amanda touched her glass to his and took a drink, thankful that she didn't choke.

Miguel wasn't picking up her calls for the first time in years. Her trepidation was at its peak.