Chapter 27 – Hannah

The following morning, I arrived at Chloe’s exactly as planned, and she was waiting on the porch for me. She was a vision dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, and when she smiled, my heart beat triple time. Movement at the front window of the house drew my attention. Her aunt was spying. I bit back a smile, slowed to a stop, then leaned across the seat and opened the passenger door for her.

Chloe hopped in. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” I backed out of the driveway. Simply having her in my truck, sitting next to me, calms me in a way I didn’t know I needed. But I’d been on edge since leaving her last night.

“So, where are we going?” she asked.

I laughed, sliced a sideways glance in her direction, and smirked. “It’s a surprise.”

“I hate surprises.” She crossed her arms over her chest, slumped in the seat, and pretended to pout.

I laughed harder. My God, she was adorable. If Jax could feel even a fraction of what I do right now, he wouldn’t be so against the idea of me trying to make things work with Chloe. She tried to glare at me, but all she managed was a goofy smile.

I reached over, took her hand, and kissed her palm. Her heart fluttered in response, and a sense of joy filled me. Knowing she wasn’t immune to me made all the obstacles we faced worth it.

“You’re really not going to tell me?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

I headed straight out of town, toward Roaring Brook Falls. “How was the sleepover? Did you have fun?” I asked.

She scrunched up her face. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun. We braided each other’s hair, had a pillow fight, talked about boys.”

Was she for real? I turned to her with an incredulous look and then laughed. “Oh yeah? Who won the pillow fight?”

“Me, of course. Duh.” She lifted her arms and made muscles in a mock strong man pose. “You really think anyone could beat these guns?”

I laughed even harder. Being with her like this, without anything heavy hanging over us, was freeing, and I wanted to prolong this moment. I loved her sense of humor and how she could so easily make me laugh.

“You’re adorable,” I said once I stopped laughing.

She slid across the seat, so she was right next to me, and then she placed a kiss to my cheek. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Then she rested her head on my shoulder as I drove.

This moment couldn’t have been more perfect if I’d scripted it myself. She was obviously comfortable with me despite everything she’d learned about me. I only hoped she’d still feel this way after I told her more about me today.

I passed Roaring Brook Falls and continued down Route 73. Finally, I turned right onto a twisty, mostly desolate road that wound up a mountain. I made another turn, this time onto a road that looked as though it hadn’t been used in years. Chloe sat up straight and looked around and I stopped in front of a towering wrought-iron gate.

“Uh, where are we?”

“You’ll find out.” I put the truck in park and took the keys out of the ignition. Then I turned to face her. “We need to walk from here, but I have to tell you something first.”

“Uh-uh. These two days are supposed to be normal, a chance for me to get to know you, remember?”

My lips twitched. She was right about that, but I wasn’t about to dump anything life shattering on her. At least, not right this second. I removed my sunglasses and blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the blinding sunlight. “In case I forget to say it later, I want to thank you, Chloe.”

“Thank me for what?”

“Agreeing to spend these two days with me. I know it probably seems weird to you that I would even ask considering everything I’d told you last night, but…” I paused. “I wanted you to know how much this means to me, so, thanks.”

She took my face into her hands and stared into my eyes. I held perfectly still, letting her studying me. Our mouths inched closer, and she licked her lips in anticipation. Her heart pounded, and I suppressed a groan. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, but she still didn’t know enough about me to give me the type of consent I truly wanted and needed.

I pulled back before our lips touched. “This land is owned by my family.” I nodded out the windshield. “This is where Sean buried Annmarie and the baby.”

“Is this a cemetery? Rather odd choice for a date, don’t you think?”

I shook my head, smiling “No, it’s a private mausoleum.” I got out of the truck, and she followed. “I promise it’s exactly as creepy as it sounds.” I stopped at the back of the truck where I got a blanket, draped it over my arm, and grabbed a wicker picnic basket. “Ready?”

“As ready as I can be when I have no idea what’s going on.” She stuck her tongue out at me.

I grinned and took hold of her hand with my free one, lacing our fingers. I swung open the massive gate, the hinges screeching with the effort. I led her toward the immaculately kept brick structure.

“This is private property, ma’am.” An elderly gentleman stepped out from behind a weeping willow tree. “Oh, Mr. Halstead. Didn’t see you there.” He tipped his ragged baseball cap at me. “Sorry.”

I set the picnic basket on the ground near the tree. “It’s quite all right, Jeffrey.” I took her hand again.

“Who was that?” she asked once Jeffrey was out of earshot.

“He’s an old man who needs a job to pay for his wife’s chemo treatments. We pay him very well to tend to the grounds and keep his mouth shut. And he doesn’t ask questions, either.”

“Does he know about you?”

“No.”

I led her inside the structure, and there, in the center was a towering statue of a woman. She had cascading curls and a round face with full cheeks. Big doe-like eyes. And she held a wrapped bundle in her arms. The baby.

“Wow,” Chloe said breathlessly. “That’s Annmarie?”

“Yes.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I nodded. “Sean loved her with his entire being. Her betrayal destroyed him, and now guilt consumes him. He hasn’t loved anyone since. He can’t.” I squeezed her hand. “Come on.”

We walked back outside, and I spread the blanket beneath the tree. I motioned for her to sit beside me.

“Are you going to explain why we’re here? Was there a reason you wanted me to see Annmarie’s grave?” she asked.

“Wow, you are so impatient,” I said with a chuckle. “Can’t you just sit here and enjoy the quiet?”

Though I had to admit I was thrilled she was so eager to learn more. I nudged her with my shoulder and then leaned over to kiss her. Hesitant at first, but when she welcomed me, I kissed her harder. I yanked off my sunglasses and tossed them away. I poured every emotion I felt for her into this kiss, desperate for her to know that I loved her, that I’d do anything for her. I needed her to know the depth of my feelings without having to say the words, because that would probably be the one thing I said that would freak her out enough to make her leave for good.

I cupped her face, cradling her cheeks for a second, and then lower, gently holding either side of her neck. She moved closer, tempting me in a way I knew I wasn’t strong enough to resist. I broke the kiss and pulled away.

“What was that for?” she asked breathlessly.

“No reason.” I ran my finger along her bottom lip. “I’ve never brought anyone here before. Jax doesn’t even know I come here.”

“He doesn’t?” She shifted, leaned back on her hands, and crossed her ankles.

I settled on my side, head propped in my hand. “No. He knows of this place but not that I visit. This has always been Sean’s place, but I like it here. It’s quiet and secluded.”

“I can see why you like it.” She glanced up at the hanging branches. “Tell me about Hannah,” she said, keeping her face turned away from me.

Of all the things she could’ve asked me about, she had to bring up Hannah. When Chloe heard what I’d done, she’d never be able to look at me again, let alone be anywhere near me. But I couldn’t hide this from her, either. Not if I wanted to have an honest, long-term relationship with her.

I sat up and draped my arms over my bent knees. Chloe sucked in a sharp breath, sat up, and draped her arm my back as if to give me strength. I lowered my head, so it was resting against hers.

“Jax met her in the seventies at a Save the Lab Animals rally.”

She laughed. “Jax is an animal activist?”

“He was that day.” I smirked. “Boredom is a real problem for us, so we tend to do whatever we can to entertain ourselves. Hence the reason we went back to high school.” I winked. “We were feeding one night, and he saw a flyer for the rally. I told him he was crazy, but he spent all night making protest signs, more determined than ever to help save the animals. Naturally, I went, too, so I could make fun of him.” I stretched my legs out in front of me and chuckled at the memory of just how much I’d teased Jax. He totally deserved it though. “Hannah was leading the rally, and the instant he saw her, he was a goner.”

“Love at first sight, huh?”

“It happens that way for us.” My words were distant. “Unfortunately, Hannah didn’t want anything to do with Jax at first.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded. “Jax doesn’t always make the best first impressions.”

“Tell me about it.” She laughed. “They obviously got together, though, right? How did that happen?”

I sighed heavily, wishing I didn’t have to tell her the rest of this story. It wasn’t pleasant, and I wanted to shield her from all the bad stuff. “I spent some time with Hannah, trying to convince her my brother wasn’t the biggest jerk on the planet. We got… close.” I hung my head. “I liked her, a lot, but I knew how Jax felt about her, so I ended things.”

Chloe remained uncomfortably quiet. If she thought that part was bad, she really wasn’t going to like what happened next.

“She went out with Jax for a while, and things seemed to be going well. But I couldn’t shake the connection I had with her.” I huffed, completely disgusted with myself. If only I could go back and make different decisions, undo all the harm I caused. “She told me she still had feelings for me, but that she had feelings for Jax, too. We all agreed she’d have to choose.”

She sucked in a sharp breath but still didn’t speak.

“Jax decided to tell her about us, and she was… excited. That only made me want her more.” I scrunched up my face at the memory. “She wanted us to change her so she could spend eternity fighting for the causes that were so close to her heart. She was such a free spirit.” I smiled fondly.

“Let me guess. Jax changed her?”

“No. I did.”

She gasped. “What? You changed her? Why?”

“Because she wasn’t mine.” My voice was sad. “She ultimately chose Jax. He was convinced that if I changed her, we’d get past the curse. Our father warned us not to do it, that we were playing with fate. But God, Jax loved her so much, and I knew if she stayed human, her death would be his destruction.”

“So, you changed her.”

“Yes, I changed her.” I took a deep breath. “At first, we thought it worked. She was a normal vampire. But then, slowly, she began to shift. She’d become angry and violent for no apparent reason. She took off one night with no warning and killed a tour bus full of old ladies on their way to see a Broadway show. Jax took care of it and made it look like an accident.”

Eyes wide, Chloe cupped her hand over her mouth.

I really wanted to stop talking, but no way would Chloe let me get away with that. Not now. I had to keep going, to tell her the entire sordid story and let her decide what she wanted to do after that. Not that I’d need her to tell me—when she learned I truly was a monster, she’d leave, and I wouldn’t even blame her.

“After, she had a lot of guilt, which only intensified her anger and violence. She was constantly craving blood, and Jax managed to sate her thirst with blood bags, but that didn’t last long.” I shook my head. “She took off again, this time leaving a wake of destruction across the east coast. When we finally caught up to her, she was working her way through a homeless shelter.”

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

“I managed to convince her to come with us, and we locked her up in the basement, hoping once she came down from the high of drinking so much blood that she’d be reasonable. But the longer she was locked up, the more violent she became.” I stopped and ran my tongue over my bottom lip. “Are you sure you want to hear the rest of this? It’s not pleasant.”

She swallowed hard. “Yes.”

“We were giving her enough blood to keep her alive, but not enough to give her any real strength. One day, when Jax went to see her, he found that she’d impaled herself on the metal bed post. He thought she’d managed to kill herself, but she was still very much alive.”

Cringing, Chloe squeezed her eyes shut. Part of me hoped she’d tell me to stop talking, that she’d heard enough, but I should’ve known better. Chloe wasn’t the type of person to shy away from the truth.

“We pried her off and removed anything from the room that she could use to hurt herself. For a while, she seemed to be doing better. Jax was hopeful that we’d find a way to break the curse, and in doing so, Hannah would get better.”

The hope he’d clung to back then… For his sake, I’d wanted him to be right, but despite wanting a happy resolution, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Hannah had been too far gone, and there was no coming back from what she’d done. Even if the bloodlust had subsided, she’d have been riddled with immense guilt and shame.

“Somehow, she got out of the room. To this day, we have no idea how. But she went on another spree, and when we found her that time, she refused to come with us. She entered an orphanage. Jax followed her in and tried to talk her down. He couldn’t, so I did what was necessary to stop her from killing innocent children.”

“You killed her?” she muttered, horrified.

“I had no other choice.”

Even though Jax knew that, he’d been devastated. To this day he hasn’t fully forgiven me, and I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t forgive him if he did anything like that to Chloe. Then again, if not for Jax convincing me to change her in the first place… I shook the thought away. Nothing I could do about that now.

“That’s why Jax doesn’t like me. He’s worried I’ll become like Hannah,” she muttered.

“Yes, but that has more to do with me than you. He blames me for her. All of it. Her going mad. Every life she took. Her death. The things he had to do to protect her—protect our secret. He expected too much from me, and I let him down.”

She shook her head. “He knew letting you change her was a risk. He can’t blame you for that.” She twisted so she was facing me. “He loved her, and he has to know that killing her was the best thing for her. Did he really want to keep her locked up so she could suffer?”

“No, but he’s convinced that me changing her didn’t work because I’d had a relationship with her. So, he blames me for that, too.” I frowned.

“Do you think that’s what happened?”

I shrugged. I’d been asking myself that same question every day since it happened. “Maybe. Or maybe Sean was right, and we never should have tried.”

“Right.” She licked her lips, her heart fluttering. “Do you two fight over girls like that a lot?”

“It’s happened a few times, but none of them were as severe as Hannah.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I’d just told her I’d been in love with my brother’s girlfriend, that I’d changed her and condemned her to a life of violent bloodlust, and then killed her, and Chloe’s response was to apologize. She was more amazing that I realized.

Without another word, I cupped her cheek with my palm, my fingers spearing into her hair near my temple, and then I kissed her again. She sighed with contentment and leaned into me, pressing her lips to mine a little harder. I groaned, unable to stop the emotions and memories tearing through me.

Chloe pulled away and took several deep breaths. “Why does that keep happening when you kiss me?” Her voice trembled.

“Sorry.”

“You are doing that, right? I mean, you’re the one putting those thoughts and feelings in my mind?”

“Yes.”

She sat, speechless. The silence stretched on for several long moments.

Slowly, I lifted my head to look at her. “That’s my unique ability. I can share my memories with other people. Sometimes I can control it, but not always.”

“Does that skill come in handy often?”

I laughed. “Never. But it’s more than sharing thoughts and feelings. I can completely erase myself from anyone’s memories, which is useful when I need to make someone forget we exist.”

Her jaw dropped. “Is that what you would have done if… If I hadn’t agreed to keep your secret?”

I hesitated, not wanting to admit the truth to either of us.