Chapter 34 The Bitter Taste of Regret

Chapter 34 The Bitter Taste of Regret
Rafael

I stood in the hallway, surrounded by silence. My father's angry voice still rang in my head, but it was the quiet sound of Zara walking away that made me feel sick.

"Weak and useless," I whispered to the empty hall.

Why did I say it?

I knew why. I felt trapped. My father was trying to force me to marry a girl from Shadow Creek, and my wolf side was drawn to a maid who looked at me like I was a monster.

I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to strike out at the world for making me feel things I didn't want to feel about Zara.

But something was off. The connection I felt with her, the bond, wasn't buzzing with anger like it usually did. It felt empty. A cold, hollow feeling spread through my chest where her presence normally sat.

I punched the stone wall. The pain was sharp, but it didn't wash away the guilt.

"Damn it," I growled.

I turned and walked fast in the other direction. I needed to move. I headed toward the training grounds, but as I crossed the courtyard, someone stepped in front of me.

Gabriel.

He was leaning against a wooden pillar, flipping a small dagger in the air and catching it.

He looked relaxed and was wearing his usual smirk until he saw my face. The smirk disappeared. The dagger hit the dirt.

"Whoa," Gabriel said, raising his hands. "You look like you're about to snap at the first person who breathes too loud. What happened?"

"Move, Gabriel," I said, trying to walk past him.

He stepped sideways to block me. "No way. You've got that 'Father just ruined my life' look. Or is it the 'I just did something stupid' look? With you, it's usually both."

I stopped, breathing hard. "He wants an alliance with Shadow Creek. He wants me to marry Elena."

Gabriel let out a slow whistle. "Elena? The 'Ice Queen'? They say she once killed a rogue just for looking at her shoes wrong. Father really means business this time."

"I won't be part of his game," I said. "I told him he could keep the title. I told him I'd rather burn everything down than let him choose my mate."

Gabriel's face grew serious, which was rare for someone who joked about everything. "And how did that go? I'm guessing he didn't just say, 'okay, son' and shake your hand."

"He threatened me. Called me childish. He thinks he can control me like he controlled Leonardo." The growl in my throat grew louder.

"But he's wrong. I'm going to the Seeker's ritual to break the bond, and then I'm leaving this pack for ever."

Gabriel's eyes widened in shock. “The Seeker? What are you talking about, Rafael?”

Then I realized that I hadn’t told Gabriel about my little journey to see the seeker in the woods.

“I…uh… went to see the seeker.”

Gabriel’s hand froze halfway to his belt. The playful glint that usually lived in his eyes vanished, replaced by a cold, sharp alertness.

"The Seeker?"

Gabriel repeated, his voice dropping an octave. "You went into the Neutral Zone? Alone?

To see a dark seer?"

"I did what I had to do," I snapped, trying to brush past him again. My skin was still prickling from the lingering echo of Zara’s coldness.

"I’m not staying trapped in this house, tied to a girl who hates me and a father who wants to sell me like cattle."

Gabriel stepped into my personal space, his chest nearly bumping mine. He wasn't smirking anymore.

"Rafael, people don't just 'visit' the Seeker. You go there when you’re desperate enough to trade your soul for a favor. What did she tell you?"

I looked away, staring at the scarred wooden pillars of the training porch.

"She told me the bond is a lock. And I’m the key. She gave me a ritual. A way to shatter the connection so completely that the Moon Goddess herself couldn't sew it back together."

"At what cost?" Gabriel grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to look at him.

"Those rituals always have a price, Raf. They don't just cut the string; they burn the whole tapestry. What do you have to do?"

I swallowed hard, the Seeker's wheezing laugh echoing in my ears.

"I have to make her love me. I have to make her give me her heart completely, no doubts, no fear. And then, at the moment of her greatest joy... I have to reject her. I have to tell her she is nothing to me."

Gabriel let go of me as if I’d suddenly turned into a poisonous snake. He backed up a step, his face twisting in a mix of horror and disbelief.

"You're going to trick her," he whispered. "You're going to pretend to care, make that poor girl trust you after everything you've put her through, just so you can rip her soul apart to save your skin?"

"It’s not for me!" I roared, the frustration finally exploding.

"It’s for both of us! She hates the situation as much as I do. You saw her, Gabe.

She’s miserable. If I break the bond, she’s free to go wherever she wants. She won't be a maid anymore. She won't be under my father’s thumb."

"And she'll be broken," Gabriel countered, his voice dangerously quiet.

"You’re talking about a spiritual execution, Rafael. If you do that to her, she might not ever recover. Her wolf could go mad. She could go insane."

"She’s already changing!" I argued, remembering the silver flash in her eyes and the way the air shifted when she stood her ground.

"The Seeker said it. Something is waking up inside her. If I don't break this spell now, Gabriel, she’s going to become something I can't control. Something that will chain me to this pack forever."

Gabriel shook his head, looking at me like he didn't recognize me.

"You’re so afraid of being a pawn that you’ve turned into a monster. Father wants to use you for an alliance, and you want to use Zara for a ritual. How are you any different from him?"

That hit me harder than any punch in the sparring ring. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but no words came out.

The image of Zara’s face —the way the light in her eyes had just gone out—flashed through my mind.

"I have to do it," I said, though my voice sounded hollow even to me.