Chapter Eleven: Miu's Birth
Chapter Eleven: Miu's Birth
Ryan’s POV
Shrills of pain erupted from the birthing room, raked through me like claws down my body and drove my wolf into a frenzied looping pace under my skin. I had been chased from Shirley's side three hours ago, when her laboring became perilous, and spent the time pacing a rut into the stone floor as Dr. Morrison did battle to save my mate — and daughter.
"Alpha, you have to calm down," Daniel spoke from where he was still pressed against the window, but his own fear pushed uncomfortably through in the hunch of his shoulders. "Pacing won't help anyone."
“She’s been in labor for eighteen hours,” I snapped, running my hands through my hair the millionth time. "Something's wrong. I can smell the blood from here.
The metallic stench had been getting stronger over the past hour, mingling with Shirley's pain and terror until the corridor reeked of agony. My wolf was begging me to kick the door down and get to our mate, my pup, but human reason brought me back. All I had to do was sit and hope that the gods would hear.
There was another cry from behind the thick wooden door, and then Dr. Morrison's voice cried out sharply to his attendants. I heard snippets — “losing too much blood” and “position the baby” — that sent my heart racing with terror.
"What if I lose them both?" I whispered, the wave of terror I had been suppressing finally letting go. "Maybe this is the moon goddess's way of punishing me for how I treated Freya.”
Daniel was next to me in a second, holding onto my shoulder with solid strength. "Don't think like that. Shirley is strong, and so will the baby. You're not being punished, Ryan. You’re being given an opportunity to create something else.”
But while he said the comforting words, I just couldn't get that moment with Freya out of my head when she'd made it all worse by humiliating her in front of the pack. The way she’d gazed at me so full of hurt and betrayal before steeling herself into something colder, farther away. Was this karma that came back around?
The door burst open, and Dr Morrison staggered out, blood-stained and exhausted. It was with a relief in his eyes that he edged up to me, for this crisis had turned my calm friend into an excitable extremist.
"Alpha," he laid his bloodstained gloves down. "You have a daughter. She’s tiny but healthy, good lungs and strong. Shirley....' he said, thinking about what to say. "Your bitch bled quite a lot, but she's stable now. She’ll require weeks of rest to fully recover, but she’s going to live.”
The sheer relief that swept through me was almost enough to make me physically collapse. "Can I see them?"
"Of course. But do try to make the visit short. Shirley needs to get her rest and the baby should bond with its mother.”
I nodded and suddenly I was nervous in a way I had not thought that I would be. This was my child, My heir mine, the future of SilverFang Pack. Everything I’d believed I wanted stood behind that door, so why did my heart fill more with dread than anything else?
The corners of the birthing room flickered with candle light casting a soft glow, and shadows danced across the walls. Shirley rested against a pile of cushions, her face wan and glowing as she held a small bundle up to her chest. The exhaustion in her violet eyes met mine as I got close, but so did the fierce maternal sense of pride.
“Is she perfect?” Shirley whispered, hoarse from her screaming. "Look at her, Ryan. She even has your hair but my eyes.”
I took a slow seat on the end of the bed, shaking as Shirley placed her in my waiting arms. She was impossibly tiny, her face red and wrinkled but already giving a glimpse of the beauty she’d inherit from her mother. She had a thick mane of dark hair and, when she opened her eyes, they were the same vivid shade of purple as Shirley’s.
“Hello, little one,” I whispered, and some sudden movement inside me made me whisper that even if it meant someone heard her in the next room. She took hold of my finger with astonishing force. "I'm your father."
She was beautiful, everything a father would ask for. And yet as I cradled her, inspected her tiny features, all I could think of was another child — the one growing in Freya's belly, destined never to know me as anything other than a challenger who died with honor.
"I have decided to call her Miu," Shirley says and gently caresses a hand across our daughter's cheek. “It is ‘beautiful’ in the old tongue. She’ll be everything I was never – loved, cherished, holding her rightful place.”
I didn’t miss the subtext though. I believed that Shirley must have looked at her own daughter as her ticket to the safety my level of privilege gave me, and to a love she felt I’d never genuinely given her. Miu would be her sword and her shield, the evidence that she had a right to rule as Luna of SilverFang.
“Miu,” I said, trying it out. "It's perfect."
But even as I uttered those words, my mind was elsewhere. According to the updates I’d been given Freya was now twelve weeks pregnant. Was she showing yet? Was Godric treating her well? Had she thought of the child she had lost in me, or had she moved on altogether?
"Ryan?" “Hey!” Shirley’s voice snapped me out of it, and I found that I had been gawking into the abyss while holding our newborn daughter. "You seem distant."
“Sorry,” I said, looking at the sleeping Miu. “It was all just looking forward. What world that we’re bringing her into.”
It wasn’t completely false, but it also wasn’t exactly the whole truth. There was a too knowing look in those violet eyes of Shirley’s as she studied my face, and I knew that she had divined the trend of my thoughts.
“Everything she needs, she’ll have that,” Shirley said, all defiant. “A strong father, a loving mother, and a pack that will defend her with their lives. Not like some kids who are going to come of age pawns in political games.”
The barb was to the unborn child of Freya, and it went home. I ground my teeth together in anger, but I stayed calm. This was no time for arguing, not with Shirley weakened from childbirth and our daughter peacefully sleeping between us.
"Our daughter, she will know what love and security are," I assented cautiously. “That’s the most any parent can promise you.”
Shirley's smile didn't touch her eyes, but she nodded and settled back against the pillows. “The pack will be wanting to meet her shortly. When do we celebrate the naming ceremony?”
The naming – there was always a formal ceremony, a tradition where the new heir was introduced to the pack and blessed by guest Alphas. It ought to have been a happy day, an opportunity to show off our baby daughter and reinforce political alliances.
Instead all I could think was whether Freya would come if she were asked.
“In a week,” I responded, even as I realized that decision would change things significantly. “We can invite the neighboring packs, have a real celebration.
"All the neighboring packs?" Shirley inquired, but which we both knew she was really asking about.
I met her gaze steadily. "All of them. Diplomatic relations need to be preserved, where possible with...” I stopped, the words catching in my throat. "Especially with the Obsidian Pack."
Shirley’s face paled, flushed a red of gorilla rage. “You’re inviting my father? And her?"
“I want to keep orders in the region,” I said, though even I could hear the lie in my voice. “Individual emotions have to give way to political realism.”
"Feelings, feelings," Shirley said again and her voice got a little louder even though she was tired. Is that what you call your thing with that woman? Political necessity?"
Miu squirmed in my arms, reacting to the atmosphere of tension that surrounded us, so I got up and began walking around with her. "Keep your voice down. You'll upset the baby."
But Shirley stopped caring about how much she riled up our daughter. “You’re going to flaunt her in front of our pack, pregnant with your baby whilst I have scarcely healed from bearing you an heir.” Do you have any idea the picture that will paint?”
“It will appear that an Alpha places the needs of his pack over personal vendettas,” I snarled, then regretted it when Shirley flinched.
There was a silence in the wake of that which creaked with unspoken accusations and burgeoning bitterness. I hummed Miu until she dropped off to sleep, while my mate was staring at me as if I were some exotic species.
"You're not over her," Shirley blurted in that small voice of hers finally. “And even now, as you hold your daughter, you’re still thinking about her.
I was going to protest, to reassure my Love that she and Miu were enough for me. But the words never came, because somewhere inside me I knew that she was right. I was supposed to feel joy holding my daughter, but all I found was an empty aching hole where once a heart beat.
“I’m more consumed by the challenge,” I replied, instead. “What happens to you next,” she replied coyly.
Es war eine Ablenkung, aber sie funktionierte. Shirley's anger turned to dread, the worry for her child crushing her jealously. "Then don't fight him. Call it quits, focus on our daughter."
“I can’t,” I said, surprised at how determined this conviction suddenly felt. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him raise my baby, Shirley. “That baby Freya is carrying is my son and I'll die before Godric can take what rightfully belongs to SilverFang.”
Shirley gave me a long look, something cold and hard flashing across her face. "Then you'd better win.Because if you die in that challenge, Miu and I will be at the mercy of whatever Alpha comes to rule this pack. Is lFreya worth that chance?”
The question hovered between us and I then knew, for the first time since Shirley came home with me, that my mate was revealing her unvarnished self. Not the innocent girl who’d needed my protection, but a conniving woman who knew about power and had no problem using our daughter as leverage.
“Send the invites,” I whispered, giving Miu back to her mom. “Then let them all come down and see what they are fighting for.”
I could feel as Shirley's eyes bore through my back as I left the birthing chamber. But all I could think about was whether Freya would take the invitation, and what it would mean if she did.