Chapter Thirty-Six

The day is filled with sounds of chatter as everyone has different conversations, talking about various things from where everyone wants to go and what sights they want to see, to speculating what is going to possibly happen with this prophecy. I just sit in the lounge quietly, in my own thoughts, the thoughts that swirl around my mind are dark and self-destructive, ‘everyone would be much happier and better off if I weren’t around,’ ‘no one would be in any kind of danger if I wasn’t around.’ These thoughts continue to chase each other around my mind, until someone sits next to me, bringing me out of my thoughts. I look at the person who decided to disrupt my inner dialogue.

“You alright?” Fenirick asks.

I look at him forcing a smile and nod curtly. “I’m fine, just sitting here.”

“I know that you’re not, I can see it in your eyes, you’ve got some pretty dark thoughts swirling around up in that pretty head of yours, don’t you?”

I sigh deeply “How’d you know?”

He smiles warmly at me, like a father would his child “I may be a wolf, but I am pretty intuitive when it comes to people, even when the outside mask shows that the person is fine, the eyes never lie.”

I feel my smile falter as I try to articulate what the feelings I’m feeling are, how to describe them in words outside of my brain, and how to explain that I feel like everyone would be much better off if I weren’t around.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me hon, I can tell there’s a lot on your mind, I just want you to know that you’re not alone, even though you may feel like you are. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, nor how you’re feeling, but I promise we are all here for you, if you want to talk we’ll listen without judgement.” He says.

I look at my hands, debating with myself whether or not to let him in on my dark inner thoughts, he did say no judgement and so far, none of them have given me any reason not to believe them. I take a deep breath to center myself before speaking. “I honestly feel as if everyone would be better off if I wasn’t born to begin with.”

“That’s a heavy thought for such a bright young girl, but I can’t say that I’m surprised, this whole thing has been extremely difficult for you, I’m sure.” He replies.

I nod in agreement. “I’ll admit, the thoughts that are going through my head right now aren’t anything new, I’ve had them on and off throughout my life, but I’ve never actually had the thought of running away and leaving everyone and everything behind me.”

“Those thoughts are understandable especially with what’s going on right now, but I promise you, none of us here would be better off without you in our lives, our lives are much richer with you in them.”

I smile at him, but the thought that goes through my mind, although fleeting, makes me feel sick to my stomach. ‘He’s just being nice, he doesn’t actually care about me, no one does, they just feel sorry for me.’

“I hope this talk helped.” Fenirick says as he pats my knee and starts to get up “Before I leave you, I want you to know that we all love and care about you very much, and I hope that with our actions so far and future actions, we will show you just how true my statement is.”

He heads towards his room as I continue to sit there quietly allowing his words to sink into my brain. I want to believe the words that he’s just spoken to me, and the logical part of my brain reminds me that he has done nothing to prove otherwise, but the other part of my brain disagrees with the logical and states ‘yet.’ I decide that getting up and going to my room for the solitude is the right idea.

“Hey Falencia, we’re about to play some video game, you up for it?” Addam asks as he and Dafne head up to the game lounge area.

I smile at them warmly “no, thank you though, I’m going to go read and try to get myself out of my head for a bit.”

He smiles and nods in understanding “Well, you know where we’re all going to when you’re ready to hang out.”

I smile at head to my room getting a wicked thought “Hey Addam?”

He turns towards me “What’s up?”

I smirk “Know where Nik is at the current moment?”

A knowing smile crosses his face “last I knew he was taking a shower, and I believe he should be just about done.”

I smile back and nod my thanks as I head toward Nik’s room and peek in making sure that the coast was clear before hopping into his closet and hiding myself fairly decently before I hear his door slide open and then slide back closed, when he opens the closet door I reach out slightly and touch the hand that is touching one of the hangers closest to me; he pulls his hand away quickly and screams “WHAT THE FUCK!?”

I stifle my laugh to make my revenge go further than this and crouch into the dark corner as he looks at the spot that I had just vacated. I can see him scratching his head in confusion as he tries to figure out who and what just touched him, he shakes his head and continues to grab clothes as I shuffle quickly yet quietly to the front of his closet, I peer out and see him pulling his jeans up his legs and over his boxer-clad ass, I smirk as I find the perfect opportunity to slip out of the closet and come up behind him, his muscular back ripples as he pulls on a black tee. I reach out and touch his shoulder while making a random squeaky noise making him jump and scream in surprise. The scream that comes from his mouth is so high-pitched that it almost sounds like a chick from a horror movie. I burst out laughing and double over holding my stomach as it starts to hurt from the amount of laughing that I am doing.

“Seriously Fal?!” Nik exclaims as Cherie opens the door looking around frantically.

I can’t respond as I continue to laugh at him “yes!” I squeak.

Cherie looks from me to Nik, her face relaxing as she realizes that there isn’t any serious threat. “She got you back, didn’t she?” She asks Nik laughing.

I can hardly breathe as I nod my head still laughing hysterically like a hyena. “

She starts laughing as she shakes her head, we all walk into the hallway heading towards the game lounge, “I didn’t think you were going to get me back right away.” Nik says as he plops into a beanbag chair pulling Cherie down to sit on his lap.

I smirk “You know that you should always expect the unexpected.”

“I try, but you always manage to catch me when my guard is down.”

I shrug and start to head back towards my room. “That sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.” I throw over my shoulder before heading into my room and making sure the lock is latched before plopping into my bed to start reading.