Chapter 113
\[Giselle's POV\]
I should just leave. Get up and walk away from this table before I lost my mind completely.
The atmosphere was suffocating. Too many eyes. Too much tension. And Zarkhan sitting there like a statue, not even looking at me.
Then Mom opened her mouth and made everything worse.
"So, Giselle," she said with that fake bright tone that made my skin crawl. "How are things with Blake? You two must be settling in nicely as a married couple."
My fork froze halfway to my mouth. I looked at her, trying to figure out if she was serious.
The smile on her face said yes. She really wanted to have this conversation. Right here. Right now. In front of everyone.
"Fine," I said flatly, setting my fork down.
"Just fine?" She laughed like I'd made a joke. "Oh, come on. Tell me more. Is he treating you well? Being a good husband?"
I wanted to throw my plate at her. Instead, I nodded. One quick jerk of my head.
She wasn't satisfied with that. Of course she wasn't.
"And the bedroom?" she continued, her voice dropping to what she probably thought was a conspiratorial whisper but was loud enough for the whole table to hear. "Everything going well there? You know, it's important for newlyweds to—"
"Mom." My voice came out sharp. Hard.
She blinked at me, surprised by my tone.
"I don't want to talk about this," I said.
"But honey, I'm just trying to—"
"I said I don't want to talk about it."
The table went quiet. Everyone was staring now. Great. Just great.
Mom's face flushed. She looked hurt, like I'd slapped her. "I'm only trying to show interest in your life."
I bit back the response I wanted to give. That she'd never shown interest in my life before. That she'd thrown me to Blake like I was nothing. That every question she asked made me want to scream.
Instead, I picked up my fork again and stabbed at my eggs. Forced myself to take a bite even though it tasted like cardboard.
"He's been very busy with pack business," Alpha Zaro said, clearly trying to smooth things over. "Blake has been a wonderful addition to our family. Very helpful with the eastern territories."
I nodded. Kept chewing. Didn't trust myself to speak.
Mom patted Alpha Zaro's hand. "Yes, he's such a good man. We're so lucky Giselle found him."
Found him. Like I'd gone out looking. Like this was some fairytale romance instead of a nightmare.
I forced down another bite. Then another.
All while feeling Zarkhan's coldness from across the table. It was like ice radiating off him, freezing me from the inside out.
Last night he'd touched me like I was precious. Like he couldn't get enough. Like he'd die if he didn't have me.
Now he sat there, head down, ignoring my existence.
The masking powder. It had to still be working. That's why he was acting like this. That's why he wouldn't even look at me.
Last night had just been about sex. About scratching an itch. Nothing more.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut.
He'd used me. Satisfied his needs and then left without a word. And now he couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge me.
My throat got tight. My eyes burned.
No. I wouldn't cry. Not here. Not in front of everyone.
I reached for my water glass, my hand shaking slightly. Took a long drink, using it as an excuse to not look at anyone.
"Are you feeling alright, dear?" Mom asked. "You look a bit pale."
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Maybe you should lie down. You've barely eaten anything."
She was right about that. My plate was still mostly full. My stomach felt like a rock.
I couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't sit here pretending everything was okay while my heart was breaking.
"Actually," I said, setting down my glass. "I think I will go rest for a bit. I'm not feeling well."
"Oh no. Should I call a doctor?"
"No. I just need to lie down."
I pushed back my chair before anyone could argue. Before Mom could ask more invasive questions. Before I had to sit here one more second feeling Zarkhan's cold shoulder.
"Please excuse me," I said to the table at large.
Alpha Zaro nodded. "Of course. Feel better, Giselle."
Khuraan snorted. "How convenient."
I ignored him. Ignored all of them.
Especially Zarkhan, who still hadn't looked up from his damn plate.
My feet carried me toward the door on autopilot. I could feel their eyes on my back. Could hear the whispers starting as soon as I left.
Let them talk. I didn't care anymore.
The hallway felt cooler. Quieter. I could finally breathe again.
But the relief only lasted a second before the hurt came crashing back.
My chest ached. My throat felt too tight. Tears pricked at my eyes, hot and insistent.
I walked faster, my heels clicking against the marble floor. I needed to get to my old room. The one I'd used before Mom decided I should sleep in Blake's bed.
My room. My space. Where I could fall apart without an audience.
The tears started before I made it to the stairs. Silent at first, just blurring my vision. Then more came, faster, until I couldn't see straight.
I wiped at them angrily. I wouldn't cry over this. Wouldn't cry over him.
But my body didn't listen. The tears kept coming, hot trails down my cheeks that I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried.
Zarkhan had made love to me last night. At least, that's what it had felt like. The way he'd touched me. Kissed me. Whispered my name.
But it hadn't meant anything to him. I was just another girl. Just a body to use.
The masking powder was still working. He couldn't smell that I was his mate. And without that, I was nothing to him.
Nothing.
My foot caught on the bottom stair and I stumbled. Caught myself on the railing, breathing hard.
Get it together, Giselle.
But I couldn't. The emotions were too big. Too overwhelming.
I'd given myself to him. All of me. And he'd just walked away like it meant nothing.
Like I meant nothing.
More tears came. I didn't bother wiping these ones away. Just let them fall as I climbed the stairs, each step feeling heavier than the last.
The hallway on the second floor stretched out in front of me. Long and empty. My old room was at the end.
I could make it. Just a little further.
My vision blurred again. I blinked hard, trying to clear it.
That cold energy from Zarkhan. The way he'd sat there like a stranger. Even Hakkan and Khuraan's presence had felt suffocating.
If I'd stayed one more second at that table, I would have broken down right there in front of everyone.
At least here I could cry in peace.
My old room door appeared ahead. Dark wood with brass handles. I'd only been gone from it a few days but it felt like a lifetime.
Back when things were simpler. Before Blake. Before the warehouse. Before everything went to hell.
I pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The room was exactly how I'd left it. Bed neatly made. Curtains drawn. Personal items still scattered on the dresser.
Mom had decided this room wasn't good enough anymore. That I needed to be in Blake's room. In Blake's bed. Playing the role of Blake's wife.
Even though I'd rather die.
The door clicked shut behind me. The sound was final. Absolute.
I was alone now. Finally alone.
The tears came harder. Faster. Until I could barely see through them.
I made it to the bed before my legs gave out. Sank down onto the mattress, my whole body shaking with sobs I'd been holding back all morning.
It hurt. God, it hurt so much.
Last night had felt real. Had felt like maybe, just maybe, things could work out. That Zarkhan cared about me. That we had a chance.
But this morning proved that wrong. So painfully wrong.
He'd used me. That's all it was. Physical release. Nothing more.
And the masking powder was still there. Still hiding what I was to them. Still keeping them from feeling the mate bond that should have been obvious.
Jessica's words echoed in my head. The powder was permanent. It would never wear off.
I'd never get my mates back. Never feel that connection the way I was supposed to.
I was alone in this. Completely alone.
The sobs got louder. Harsher. My chest heaved with them.
I curled up on the bed, pulling my knees to my chest. Wrapped my arms around myself like I could hold all the broken pieces together.
But I couldn't. They kept falling apart. Kept shattering into smaller and smaller fragments until I didn't know if I'd ever be whole again.
My old room. The one place that still felt like mine. Where Mom's choices and Blake's demands and Zarkhan's coldness couldn't reach me.
Where I could finally, finally let myself fall apart.
The tears soaked into the pillow. My throat was raw from crying. My eyes burned.
But I couldn't stop. Didn't want to stop.
Because if I stopped crying, I'd have to face reality. Would have to accept that last night meant nothing. That Zarkhan felt nothing.
That I was trapped in this marriage with Blake forever.
That thought made me cry harder.
I pressed my face into the pillow, muffling the sounds. No one could hear me in here. No one would know.
Just me and my broken heart and the crushing weight of knowing I'd lost something I'd never really had.
The morning light filtered through the curtains, too bright and cheerful for how I felt inside.
My body shook with each sob. With each broken breath.
Mom had wanted me in Blake's room to prove I wasn't interested in Zarkhan and Hakkan anymore.
The irony was almost funny. Almost.
Because I was more interested than ever. More in love. More desperate for something I couldn't have.
And that's what made it hurt so much worse.