Chapter 36-2

Darragh's smile turned almost sad as he said, "Monroe, I am not heartless. I realize what he was risking by sending you here. I don't doubt my spies. I'm sure your king—Kai—is a very skilled soldier. Very clever. The Vaylish military is similar to ours. Strict. I know it must require a great deal of dedication. The things you learn there, in training programs like that, are not easy to forget." He shrugged. "Sending you here, giving his enemy his biggest weakness, well...that wouldn't have been easy for him to do. I'm sure it went against every instinct. I may think it was a stupid move, but I won't deny respecting it." "I—I want to go with you when you go back to Erydia." Darragh's lips twitched. "You are here to stay, Monroe." "No. No, I'm not. I have to—It's my country. It's my country and I owe it to myself to go back and fight for it." "Even against him—your king?" I dug deep, delved into that darkness in my heart—the bruised, broken part of me that still remained frozen on Sauenmyde. I forced myself to remember what it had been like to be that girl. I put myself back in that moment—standing in front of a crumbling rebellion, realizing I was trapped. I remembered, with vivid clarity, what it had been like to declare the man I loved—the person I trusted the most—as king. Betrayed. The tears that welled in my eyes were real. They sprang from a place of physical and emotional brokenness. And I did not hide them from Darragh as I said, "He hurt me. He hurt me and—and he'll pay for it." Darragh had called Kai a bad strategist. I wondered what he thought of me. Could he smell the deceit? Did it linger on my skin the way cigarette smoke clung to Isla? No, I didn't think he could tell. Not when a small shred of me believed in what I'd said. Not when that dark, sliver of power in my blood whispered that Kai did deserve to pay. He did deserve to lose everything. My throne, it seemed to say. He has my throne and I will take it. I will take what is mine. I let venom drip into my voice as I said, "I'll make him pay for it." "Why wear his ring then?" "To remind myself what we had. What he broke." I swallowed and looked away from the king. "So, when you go to Erydia—when your troops enter the palace—I want to be there. I want to help." The floorboards beyond the doorway creaked, that shaft of gray light flickering as someone moved through the room. Darragh stepped back from me, his face cast in shadows that made him look older—wiser. A spider, perched in a web, ready to strike. His lips twitched into a sly smile as he gave me a halfhearted bow and turned away from me. "We'll see," he called over his shoulder. "We will see." *** Cohen looked so small and fragile in that bed. There was a tube down his throat and bandages littered his bare torso. When I arrived, the room was full—Anna and Britta sat in straight-back wood chairs, a small table holding a tray of tea set between them. As I stepped into the room, Anna lifted a finger to her lips. She offered me a tight smile and nodded to where Cohen lay. Nadia was curled into his side, her hand wrapped tightly around Cohen's limp fingers. Her face was relaxed in sleep and I was thankful for that. She needed it. Even from where I stood, I could see the lines of exhaustion written all over her. Heidi had said that Nadia wasn't resting and that is was showing in her ability. She couldn't keep going like she was, not without burning herself out. Britta's gaze remained on me as I rested against the doorframe. Those blue eyes of hers—so like Viera and Cohen's—ran over my body, as if she could see the bandages hidden beneath my shirt and trousers. I didn't know her well enough to read her expression. My only interactions with her had almost always been alongside Uri. Britta was, I think, what Uri had always been expected to be. Poised, refined, beautiful. And, in her defense, Uri had been some of those things, when and where it suited her. Anna reached out a hand to me and I crossed the room slowly, already feeling drained from the walk across the palace. I probably should have taken Annalise up on her offer to find a wheelchair. Anna offered me her chair, but I waved her off and instead opted to lean against the wall. "It can hurt worse to sit," I explained, careful to keep my voice quiet. Anna frowned. "Are you feeling any better?" I nodded. "Sore, mostly. Sleeping has helped. And the meds. Annalise—the healer they assigned to me—has been really generous with the painkillers, especially at night when it's the worst." Britta's brow furrowed in thought. "I've met her...Really blonde hair and pale eyes, right? She's Erydian, I think." I nodded. "I think that's why they've had her helping me." She nodded. "Most of the healers here don't speak Erydi fluently. I've been translating for Nadia. The language barrier has been...difficult to maneuver. They teach the language in the schools here, but..." Britta shook her head dismissively. "Getting anyone to agree has been an ongoing issue." Anna nodded. "They don't listen, the healers." "They don't understand that she's goddess-touched. They think she's in the way. A nuisance." Britta chewed her bottom lip, the action so refreshingly normal, that I found myself relaxing a little more. "It took almost an hour after he'd been shot for me to convince them to let Nadia near enough to help him. We lost valuable time because they just didn't understand that she was trying to help."