Chapter 9 CHAPTER NINE
ROSALINDA
Just as I reached the gates of the garden, I felt someone yank me back, I turned to see Cyrus standing behind me, his breathing hard.
"What are you doing?!" I yelled, yanking my arm free from his grip.
"I should be asking you that!" He retorted.
I gasped, taken back by his sudden question. "What? Are you insane?"
"What's wrong with you? You're acting strange or don't you realize that?!"
He stopped me and now he's calling me strange? Is he crazy? Why am I even asking that?! He's definitely nuts!
"I hate you!" I shrieked, making his eyes go hard but I didn't stop there. I could no longer hold it, mom's words, his coldness, this suffocating palace- everything was threatening to rip me to pieces and fucking congratulations! They have succeeded. "I hate you so much, Cyrus! I hate how much you look like a boy I once loved! I hate your coldness! Your arrogance foolish self! All I ever wanted was to know who are you, to freaking understand, to give my heart a reason to stop hurting yet you broke me even more!" I shouldn't be doing this. He hasn't done anything so wrong....yet why...why is my heart aching like this? Why won't the tears stop flowing? Why can't I close my damn mouth?! "Why do you just watch? Do you enjoy my misery?" I choked out, wiping my tears with my palm. "Do you...do you enjoy watching me torn between duty and...a ghost?"
He stood there, motionless, just like I knew he would. But then, slowly something shifted in his eyes..the began to melt now replaced by a deep troubled sadness, a vulnerability I had never ever seen before. He looked at me, really looked at me, and for the first time, I saw not just the guard but the man beneath. His expression softened, morphing into a look of sorrow, regret and something else...something I couldn't decipher but for some reasons....I felt like I could relate to how he felt.
"I just want an answer..." I mumbled. "That's all."
"An answer?" He asked, his usual coldness now back on the surface, he stepped closer until we were only few inches apart. "Is no. I'm not the one." Then walked away, I turned to face him hoping he would look back, but he didn't, not even a glance. He just left.
The next morning dawned with a familair dread. After a restless, shame filled night. Zade has requested I joined him for tea. I plastered on my moment convincing 'I'm perfectly fine and well rested fine' meanwhile I wasn't. It was the opposite.
After getting dressed, I descended to the little garden outside the palace building. A little garden that was built specially for relaxation and tea chats.
Throughout the tea, I ignored Cyrus who stood near the door. My gaze was fixed solely on Zade, who seemed more than eager to be with me, his blond hair gleamed in the morning light while his eyes sparkled as we talked about numerous things.
After tea, I suggested we retreat to the library, last thing I wanted was to bump into my parents and end up having an awkward conversation. As we reached the library, I turned to Cyrus. "Cyrus, you may stay outside the library. We will require no immediate assistance."
He arched a brow at my request then looked over at Zade who nodded and gave a dismissive wave. "She's right, actually, you really don't need to follow me all around. Take some time off for yourself, Cyrus."
A flicker of something that I couldn't decipher flashed through Cyrus's eyes but he merely bowed and took few steps back. "I understand, your highness."
Inside the library, the scent of old parchment and leather was comforting. Zade pulled out a massive, leather bound book. "Shall we?"
I smiled softly as I approached him. "We shall."
We sat on a plush velvet sofa, taking turns reading passages and making amusing comments on the characters. Just then as I was mid-sentence, Zade reached out, his finger gently brushing my lower lip.
"Sorry, you had something there," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Oh," I blushed, my cheeks red as I cleared my throat. "Thanks..."
I waited for him to pull back, but he didn't. Not that I wanted him to, but I couldn't handle another embarrassing moment especially with him. Instead he just stayed still, his eyes then lowered to my lips, lingering there, then slowly he leaned closed. His lips met mine in a tender kiss, utterly different from Cyrus's rough, desperate kiss. This was slow and sweet. He pulled me closer, guiding me until I was sitting on his lap, my body fitted against his as if made for it. My hands went to his collar, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. It wasn't enough, it was fierce enough...it was missing something.
Him-
I shook my head and pulled him even closer making him chuckle as he gripped my hair earning a soft moan from me. I pressed my lips harder against his, trying to physically erase anything concerning Cyrus or Grayson. This was about me and Zade. No one else. I grinded against him, tugging harder at his hair unable to control myself or my need for him. His hands ran up my gown and began caressing my thighs, his touch was light yet possessive sending waves of shivers down my spine.
"Woah." he said softly, pulling me back.
I looked up, confusion overtaking me. "Why? What's wrong?"
He hesitated, then titled his head. "You said Grayson. Who's that?"