Chapter 7 CHAPTER SEVEN
ROSALINDA
"That was fucking amazing!" Zade grinned as we walked back to the stables to get the horses, holding hands. "Did you say that little girl with the touch sticks? The man who balanced a stack of clay pots on his nose while reciting a poetry?!" He gasped as his eyes widened. "Fuck! Today was awesome! People here sure are gifted, alright."
I giggled softly as I leaned in closer to him. "You seem to had alot of fun today,"
"Yes,", he smiled. "Yes I do, I hope you did too?" He then stopped and turned to face me, his face all serious now. "I'm sorry if I got carried away and-" he was cut short when I placed my finger against his lips.
"I loved today, it was great. Maybe we can..." I trailed off, biting my lip nervously.
He arched a brow, then smirked. "Maybe we can what?" He taunted, the corners of his lips curling in a smirk.
"Go for another walk again?"
"Sure. Anytime you want Princess."
Alot of people call me princess but the way it rolls of Zade's tongue has me feeling things I had never actually felt before. It sounded cute- yet intimate. My thoughts were cut short when I heard Cyrus take a deep breath, I turned to see him standing a few feet away from us, he still had his helmet on, but his gaze was fixed on the floor.
Well, I'll be damned.
An Hour Later.
When we arrived, my servants were already waiting. Zade carried me from the horse and escorted me to my chambers with my maids trailing behind us, murmuring under their breaths.
Those gossip girls.
"Well," Zade cleared his throat as he let go of my hand. "I suppose this is goodnight,"
"Yes, thank you, Prince Zade," I replied, offering him a genuine warm smile. "Have a goodnight."
He stared at me for a moment then stepped closer, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, a fleeting brush that sent a ridiculous rush of shiver down my spine."Goodnight Princess Rosalinda."
With that, he turned and left with Cyrus trailing behind him, I bit my lower lip nervously as I watched them go. I was too lost in the moment, too consumed by the lingering ghost of Zade's lip against my skin.
It's nothing compared to the kiss you and Cyrus shared though. My subconscious, the ever uninvited guest kicked in. I wanted to slam her face against the wall for ruining thus moment, but unfortunately she was right.
It was nothing compared to how Cyrus's lips made me feel.
My thoughts were cut short when I caught wind of my maids murmurs again.
"Seriously," I snapped. "Get over it!"
"We are sorry your highness!" They apologized as they bowed in unison, but I could hear the hint of sarcasm in their tone.
I groaned and pushed the door open, stepping in.
I need a really long bath.
_
I had the long bath that I longed for, ate dinner even though it was super late. Yet- I still couldn't sleep, despite how hard I tried. My mind was reeling with so many thoughts. A whirlwind of confusion and conflicted I'd never known threatened to consume my soul.
Never for once in my life had I ever been this tangled up in my own emotions like this. I know the right thing to do was to let go of my past and be with Zade with the whole of my heart, he deserves that.
I know we may not love each other yet...but he has feelings for me and so do I...but fuck! I couldn't. I couldn't finally commit to him.
I hate this.
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
I stood up from my bed and walked to my shelf, pulling out a novel - some tedious romance about a duke and a commoner, precisely the kind of escapism I craved. I sat by the window, hoping to drown myself in the book when someone knocked softly at my door.
"Who's that?" I called out, a flicker of annoyance at the interruption.
"My lady, you're awake," My guard, Cole, said, his voice muffled by the thick oak. "The Queen is here."
"Mother?" My heart did a surprised little skip. I quickly adjusted myself, pulling my nightgown tighter around me. "Let her com in, please."
Immediately the heavy door opened and my mother walked in. She was dressed in her usual formal yet elegant nightgown, a midnight blue silk, her hair was packed in a neatly coiled bun. A gentle smile graced her lips as she approached me.
I quickly got up, dropping my book and rushed to her, pulling her into an embrace. "Mother, why are you up so late?"
"I should be asking you that, darling," she chuckled, her arms tightening around me. She sat on my bed, patting the space beside her, her smile widening. "I believe the walk with Prince Zade was nice?"
"Nice?" I laughed, a sudden gush of genuine, uninhibited joy escaping me, making her stare at me confused. "It was amazing, Mother. He's a sweet man and I-" I was caught off guard when she grinned, staring at me with admiration. My cheeks flushed. I bit my lips and cleared my throat. "He's okay." I mumbled, trying to dial back my enthusiasm.
"He seems to have gotten your interest," she said, her gaze piercing through my feigned nonchalance. "I love that...because your father and I approve of him wholeheartedly."
I nodded. "Hmhmhm."
"What troubles you, my daughter?" She asked, her voice softer now, almost as if she could sense the sorry swirling beneath the brave front. She reached out, gently holding my arm, her touch firm yet comforting. "What is it, Rosalinda?"
I forced a smile that felt brittle. "It's nothing," I lied.
I couldn't tell her about Grayson/Cyrus or whoever he truly was. She wouldn't understand, and hell...only God knows what would happen if she did. The last thing I needed was to drag my mother into the messy, unresolved baggage of my past.
"Is it because of the Prince's guard?"
My eyes shot wide as I let go of her hand. "What?!!" My heart hammered against my ribs as I stared at her, shocked.
She frowned, her gentle smile replaced by a look of deep concern, and let out a weary sigh. "When I first heard that you asked for a specific guard named Grayson...I wondered why. Your father merely shrugged it off, thinking it was a childish whim. Until I saw the guard myself- and then I saw it," her frown deepened as she continued. "That guard...he looked so much like Grayson....the young boy who used to sneak into the kitchen with you...the son of the maid who took care of,"
"Well," I shrugged, trying to calm myself, my voice steadier than my trembling hands felt. "He's not the one. Grayson is....gone."
The word tasted like ash in my mouth because my heart believed otherwise.
Despite my words, her eyes still held the same knowing coldness, and her lips were still set in a worried frown. "He may be gone, but this man looks like him and I fear for you, my love,"
"Why? He's no one to me," I lied, the words cutting me deeper than any sword. I was lying to my mother, the woman who had always seen through me and it broke me a little more.
"Your eyes and heart say otherwise, Rosalinda," she countered softly.
I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I was a kid then, Mother. A child infatuated with a maid's son. Now I'm an adult. Zade is my fiancée... Or well...soon to be." The words felt hollow, even to my own ears. I was lying. Fuck, I was lying to myself right now. "Or don't you trust me?"
She said nothing and stood up, then lifted my chin with her index finger, forcing my gaze to meet her. "I do trust you, it's your heart I don't trust,"
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't yet know that nothing can ever happen between you and that man. It's still delusional."