Chapter 29 CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
ROSALINDA
A huge party was thrown in my honor for my return.
Typical.
I was gone for just three days, and everyone rejoices as if I'd returned from a decade long crusade in the wasted. The Great Hall was a sea of shimmering silk, expensive perfumes and the kind of forced laughter that always made my skin itch. I felt like a prize horse being paraded around after a narrow win at the races.
"Thank the gods you returned safely," my mother said, her voice a soft, frantic hum. She rubbed my hand incessantly, her fingers cool and fluttering like trapped birds. She had been doing that ever since I stepped through the palace gates.
"Uh-uh." I said, nodding my head rhythmically while my mind drifted elsewhere.
Ever since we returned, Zade had been....off. Not towards me, exactly. Infact, he was overwhelmingly attentive towards me lately. He was happy, charming, and had even kissed in public multiple times, which was weird and surprising, but in a way, I was glad he wasn't as grumpy as he'd been before I left. My real concern was how he had changed toward Cyrus. Normally, Cyrus was always at his shoulder- his shadow, his right hand. Now, Zade had some other knights serving as his personal guards. Cyrus Stull remained his number Knight, but I could sense the frost between them. Even when my father stood up during the feast to toast Cyrus for his bravery and for keeping me alive, Zade just brushed it off, swirling his wine as if he were bored to tears. He did the same nonchalant behavior when my father awarded Cyrus for his courage the day I was found.
I wondered what the hell had happened between them when I wasn't looking.
Could I perhaps be at the middle of it all? Have I been so stupid to let my emotions show and now I've hurt Zade?
As if on cue, I sighted Zadr walking toward me through the crowd. He wore a heavy velvet tunic that matched the blue of his eyes, and a huge, dazzling smile was plastered on his lips.
"Queen Arabella, Princess Rosalinda," he said, bowing with practiced grace. He took my hand and kissed it, his lips lingering on my knuckles for a second too long.
A small blush crept up my neck as I gently pulled my hand away, feeling the eyes of a hundred people on us. Zade turned to my mother, and told her he would love to take me away for a walk in the gardens for some fresh air and privacy. My mother, who practically lit up like a candle smiled and nodded, immediately turning her attention to a nearby duchess who began to walk towards her.
"Let's go." Zade said as he winked, making me giggle.
We skipped out of the stifling heat of the hall and into the moonlit garden. The air was crisp, smelling of damp earth and blooming jasmine. We sat on a stone bench near the fountain, the sound of splashing water masking our voices.
"How are you?" He asked, his voice losing the performative cheer it had in the ballroom.
"I'm, well-" I shrugged and then let out a dry laugh. "I'm okay. I'm fine. Just a bit overwhelmed. What about you?"
"I'm fine now. I was so worried sick, Rosalinda. I couldn't sick a wink at all."
I reached out, holding his hand. His palm was warm, and I felt a pang of guilt. "I'm so sorry, Zade."
"Sorry?" He stared at me confused. "What for? I should be the one apologizing. I didn't come for you fast enough, I let you get taken-"
"Zade," I cut him off, moving closer and holding his face in my hands.
Just as our eyes met, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. Even in the moonlight, the mask slipped. I could see the raw jagged edges of how hurt he was. He looked like a man who had stared into am abyss and realized the abyss was staring back.
He loves me.
The realization hot me like a physical blow. Zade actually, truly loves me. It wasn't just 'likeness' or feelings, neither was this just a political arrangement for him anymore.
He actually loves me.
"Rosalinda....." He whispered, his voice cracking.
I shook my head and smiled, trying to offer him some peace. I pulled him closer until our forehead touched. "It's fine, Zade. I'm here now..I'm safe."
"I know," he let out a deep, shuddering breath. "I actually need- fuck, I want to apologize,"
"For what?"
"For how I treated you earlier. Before you went missing.. I was..." He trailed off and sighed, looking frustrated with himself. "It's just-"
"Zade, don't apologize. I understand,"
"No, Rosalinda, you don't," he countered, his eyes searching mine.
"I don't what?" I inched back slightly, titling his face lower to mine so he couldn't look away. "What don't I understand? Talk to me."
He shook his head, looking almost helpless. "Even I don't know. Everything feels...distorted, I feel so confused and lost."
I laughed, the sound bright in the quiet garden, making him look at me with confusion. "What's funny?" He asked.
"It's crazy," I said with a small laugh. "We are both disturbed by things that we both don't understand. We are a right pair of messes, aren't we?"
He stifled a laugh and inched closer, his gaze dropping to my lips. "Destiny, maybe. Or just plain bad luck."
"You're silly," I whispered.
He shrugged and then chuckled. "Maybe,"
"May I ask why you're suddenly cold towards Cyrus though?"
At the mention of Cyrus's name, he suddenly tensed up instantly making me regret my decision but the moment he calmed down, I let out a small sigh.
"It's nothing," he said, but I could sense the lie in his words.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped...."
"No no," he shook his head and moved his hand to the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. "You didn't overstep. I'm keeping him away for a reason,"
"What reason?"
"I can't say why now Rosalinda...I'm sorry,"
I drew in my lower lip, trying to bite down my curiosity. "Okay."
"Thank you."
I smiled and leaned in more, closing the gap between us, inch by inch, slowly placing my lips on top of his. His eyes were still open, still staring at me.
Just as my lips parted the moment I pressed them against his, he totally surrenders, sinking into the kiss. Our tongues meet, tentative and soft at first, like a dance, with me being the lead, to free him from whatever was troubling him.
He moans into my mouth, a sound that nearly makes me lose my senses, his hand glides up and down my back, then back up, through my hair, making a tight fist.
I gasp against his lips as his grip tightens further.
gods.
I didn't know I could kiss or be kissed like this.
His mouth started to take the lead, his movements rougher and more violent, his hold on me was now tighter, pressing my body against his, not leaving a single space between us.
"I-" I breathed as my breaths began to come in ragged. Before I could even comprehend a sentence, my eyes caught the glimpse of a figure standing far away, the trees had hidden their silhouette but I could still make out sense that someone was there, watching us.
"Rosalinda?" I hadn't realized I had stopped kissing him back until he called my name.
"Ugh?" I answered dumbfounded, I looked back at him, then back at the figure I saw but there was nothing there anymore.
"Are you okay?"
"I- yeah sure sure," I lied and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry...I just-"
"It's fine," he says, offering a small smile. "Do you want to leave here?"
I nodded as he took my hand. "Yes please."
"Alright."
As we walked out of the garden, I looked over my shoulder at the spot from earlier but saw nothing.
Was I..seeing things?