Redemption & Conversations
Redemption & Conversations
“Do you really think you can help her? This Vanna?” Zaya asked curiously.
“even if I can’t, I have to try.” Shazir murmured his eyes on the glass, but not on the scenery. Through the glass he could see the faint ghost of Zaya’s face. “There is a lot I have to atone for.”
“That is a definite change in perspective for such a short period of time.” Zaya murmured.
Shazir winced slightly. “Well, let’s just say you don’t want to be on the other side of a Dragon’s wrath.” He muttered, shuffling slightly as he readjusted himself on the plush cushions. Then he stood abruptly suddenly nervous to even be in the library.
“I’m sorry. This is the longest I’ve been without the change since I first transformed.” Shazir conceded.
“change?” Zaya asked perplexed. “Is that what Seraphina meant when you were otherwise occupied.
Shazir turned to her in surprise. “Did she not tell you?” he asked, looking askance at her obvious confusion. He sighed. “I stole her magic. Not exactly on purpose, but I did revel in the power. She was gone. I loved her and she disappeared from my life as if she’d never been there. So, I get angry, and I leaned towards my power. I felt with it that I deserved more. Deserved to be higher than any mortal being can be. So, I clung to my power and demanded what I wanted. I don’t even remember striking the blow that killed your father.”
Zaya straightened at his confession. “So, you didn’t really want me? You wanted her?” She asked.
“I wanted the power and did anything I could to achieve it. I couldn’t get your Kingdom without you. Could I?” He recounted, not in a cruel way, it was almost as if the words had burst out of him.
“Guess not,” Zaya murmured, amused with his walking. “I could clear out the gardens.” She mentioned. Shazir froze where he’d been pacing startled as he whirled around to where Zaya sat.
“So, you could run.”
“Why on earth would you do that?” He hissed. “You should despise me. I killed your family; I tried to marry you against your will. I was going to use your sister as a bargaining chip, to control you.”
Zaya to his amazement smiled wider at his words. “You did kill my family. You did try to marry me against my will, but you would never have been able to use Zara. Out of the two of us, she has her father’s temper.”
Shazir scoffed. “Regardless of that—”
“I was afraid of you. For so many years. I dreamt every night of that sword going into my father, but I never wished for your own suffering. I just wished for my family back. But my father died doing what he always wanted, protecting us. My mother’s last breath was to save my sister and I. Because for all of their training, they knew I was nothing without my sister. Because she has always been my strength. Which is why when Seraphina came back asking for a boon, after getting rid of you I let my sister go for the second time in my life. Knowing that she would never be alone again. And neither will I.” Zaya quirked her head slightly her eyes sparkling.
“In fact, I think I might owe you much more than I would’ve thought. Without your Usurping of the throne, I might’ve never met my Husband, Njall, and Zara might have never met Nasir. It will never be equal between us. But you could’ve plotted for revenge. You chose instead a noble path. One that might still lead to your death but noble enough.”
Shazir smiled slightly his eyes moving back to the sky. “If you think you can get all of your people inside, and have Njall to put up a barrier, then yes. I would go for a run.” He stated, looking back at her seeming to be deep in thought.
“I would ask you one more thing.”
Xoxoxoxox
Seraphina,
I do not know if by the time this letter is given to you, whether I will still be on this plain or another darker one. But I need you to know that this was not your fault. This Warlock. This Charlatan. This man, if he could even be worth being called that would never have given up on haunting me. There is many things I have to answer for in this life. I’ve hurt many, in my pursuit of power, but no one as much as you. And yet, we still found our way back into that royal bed. Back to each other’s arms. I wish I had known then, that the one I held was the one I’d tried to forget for so long. You think that I was only after power, only after the strength of the magic, the addiction to the throne. But I never needed any of that. I’d flung myself from treasure to treasure because that was the only thing I’ve ever known. Until I met you. That stubbornly feisty Assassin. That gorgeous murderous. I am so honored that once you found me worthy of being loved by you. I will always remember the power of your magic running through my veins. The power of your embrace locking my darkest urges at bay even when I didn’t have powers to use in the pursuit of acting on those desires. I hope you find what you’re looking for in your haunt with the Pirates. I hope that when you read this letter you will finally know that you can rest. I’m finally doing an honorable thing. I’m facing death not knowing whether I will survive not for myself but for those who has never been able to take arms against a threat that stole them from their families. That gave them what he felt they wanted the most in return for a life of servitude. Thanks to you I found myself unable to bend to his will. I found within the strength of standing up or rising up for others no matter the cause. There are two sisters, whose lives had been torn asunder by this man. This man who forced himself on one sister and blinded the other with eternity in the dark. I was this man mere months ago. Now I can stand on my own two feet, or possibly four because of the strength and passion of being loved by you even if you can never say the words.
Please let me go. Let me do this one good thing, after doing so much wrong. To Zaya, to Zara. And to you. Forgive me for never telling you that I’ve always loved you. That the power never could have been enough, not without you.
Eternally and forever yours,
Shazir.