Behind the shadow
I haven’t seen Aeron since morning. I got up hoping to join him for breakfast, but at the table there were only Lira and a few others. I quietly asked Lira if she had seen Aeron, but she just shook her head briefly before turning back to the parchments spread out on the table.
They were busy planning for the imminent arrival of the second Blood Moon. Their voices were low but heavy, full of apprehension and strategy. I could feel the danger approaching, and with each passing day I was more and more nervous.
As I sat on the sidelines, I felt useless. I couldn’t get the events of yesterday out of my mind—Aeron’s cold words, the weight of his anger, and the wall he had built between the two of us.
Until I heard a casual whisper from one of the young men who had overheard the conversation. “I heard Aeron went to the forest. He practices there alone.”
I bit my lip hard. I shouldn’t have… but before I could think properly, I stood up and left the room.
⸻
I took the path into the forest. The trees intersected, forming a ceiling of shade and rustling. The chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves in the wind served as music to my every step. The deeper I went inside, the heavier I felt—not from fear, but from the nervousness that I might see him but he wouldn’t accept me.
And when I finally reached a clearing in the forest, I stopped.
There he was.
Aeron, sweating, snoring, and relentlessly attacking a tree. His claws were like sharp steel, crushing the bark of the tree with each strike. His eyes were blazing, and his every move was filled with fierce determination.
He stood in the midst of his own battle—not with the enemy, but with himself.
I wanted to approach, but I stopped myself. Maybe he still couldn’t talk to me. So I hid behind a tree, watching him in silence.
As I looked at him, my heart felt like it was beating with pity. I knew he was trying to prove himself. I knew that behind his courage, there was the wound of others’ views—that he was weak, useless, not good enough to be a warrior.
“I feel you, Aeron,” I whispered to myself, and before I knew it, tears were rolling down my cheeks.
He was pitiful to look at, but at the same time admirable. His determination seemed endless, his heartbeat screaming for battle even though the world seemed to ignore him.
I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him that he was never useless. I wanted to let him know that for me, he was the bravest of all.
But I could do nothing but remain silent, hidden behind the shadows.
⸻
And suddenly… he seemed to sense me.
He stopped attacking and looked around slowly. His chest was heaving, and sweat was running down his forehead and down his cheeks. His eyes, sharp and dull at the same time, moved towards the direction where I was standing.
I stopped, my eyes widening. It was as if he had detected the beating of my heart, the breath I was trying to hold back.
“Aeron…” my mind murmured softly, but I couldn’t utter it.
I quickly backed away, wiped my tears with the sleeve of my dress, and hurriedly walked away. My footsteps were fast, almost pounding the ground. I don't want him to see me crying. I don't want him to think that what I see in him is weakness.
As we walk away, my tears continue to flow. I don't know where to release that pain—the pain of seeing him suffer but not being able to help him, not being able to hug him.
I stopped at a small stream, panting and puffy-eyed. I stared into the flowing water, and there I saw the reflection of my face—tired, tear-stained, and seemingly lost in myself.
“What am I doing?” I whispered to myself. “Why do I always seem so afraid? Why can’t I tell him everything?”
The voice I heard that night flashed through my mind again. Selene… Weak, mysterious, and full of meaning. Who was she? And why did every time I heard it make me feel even more anxious?
If I told Aeron that now, he might think I was just adding to the burden. He might pull away even further.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. But despite everything, one thing was clear: I couldn’t bear to stand on the sidelines while he continued to be tested.
I had to find the strength—not just for myself, but for him as well.
⸻
A few more hours passed before I returned to the village. When I returned, I saw Lira sitting with some other elders again. They were still busy with their plans, but she immediately noticed my eyes getting puffy.
“Selene…” she called softly. “Did you cry?”
I shook my head, forcing a smile. “No… I just stumbled in the forest.”
But I wasn’t convinced by my own answer, and I knew she wasn’t convinced either. But she didn’t ask anymore. Instead, she gently stroked my arm and went back to what she was doing.
I went straight to my room.
I lay down, staring at the ceiling. The memories of Aeron earlier kept coming back to my mind—his eyes, the weight of his every move, and the pain he didn’t seem to want to show.