Chapter 56

Last night, I lost control. But it wasn't the first time; it happens every night and every morning. Every time she melts so effortlessly in my arms, all I can think about is kissing her passionately, exploring every inch of her, and showing her the pleasure that comes with being touched. I need her like I need air, but it's not enough to simply have her; I want to possess her completely. My hunger for her intensifies with each passing day, and last night when she casually said, "Do it," not realizing the weight of her words, I couldn't fulfill her request. She doesn't remember the pact we made for the three full moons. I want her forever, but I wonder if she would want me forever if she remembered everything. The rose, holding all the memories, bears the scars and reasons that push me away.

This rose, awakened by my healing touch, is innocent, sweet, and brave, yet burdened by fragmented memories. She trusts me completely, without truly knowing herself. How can I take advantage of her trust? There have been countless temptations that have driven me to embark on long runs through the woods. The beast inside me, craving her every moment, threatens to lose control and claim what I desire, but I keep it at bay, far away in the depths of the forest.

However, this is the very reason she feels alone. I never want her to feel that way, especially after witnessing her wake up from that nightmare today. It was worse than ever before. I don't think I can ever leave her side.

"No late-night walks. I won't leave your side until I absolutely have to," I assured her.

She frowned momentarily, contemplating my words, and then her eyes sparkled.

"I'm just saying, it would be nice if they were less frequent. There might be an emergency where I can't stop you," she reasoned.

Why does she have to be so logical? Why can't she demand what she truly wants?

"I know, but I want to be by your side," I said, enveloping her shoulders with my arms. She nestled against me, resting her head on my shoulder. I sighed as she melted into my embrace, reveling in her warmth. There's nothing quite like the feeling of her leaning effortlessly on me without overthinking. Her slender frame fit perfectly against mine, and I rested my cheek on her head.

"Is that why you were upset with me?" I asked.

"Yes, no, well, yes, but I still don't understand why you left yesterday." She brushed the side of her neck where I had nearly bitten her. I vividly remember that moment—the pulsating heat of her throat, the rhythm of her racing heart, the scent of her desire filling the air, and her lust-filled eyes. Her body molded against mine so softly, her lips a heavenly temptation. My beastly instincts overwhelmed me, and all I could think about was tearing her dress apart and claiming her right then and there.

I swallowed hard as desire surged within me. Damn it! If she moved now, she would feel my arousal. I caressed her arms and back, my hands grazing her hips, resisting the urge to pull her closer to satisfy my throbbing desire.

"Rose." I couldn't help but let my voice become raspy and thick. "I may appear calm and composed on the outside, but inside..."

She raised her head slowly, her wide eyes staring at me as if they could penetrate my very soul. Her soft, cherry-red lips were dangerously close to mine. I shouldn't have held her so close when I couldn't control myself.

"I am caging a beast that starves for you," I finally admitted, my voice trembling. I saw her pupils dilate, her breath quicken, and her heart skip a beat or two.

"Starving for me?" Rose whispered, desire glazing her eyes.

"Yes, I'm starving for you," I replied through gritted teeth, releasing my restraint and pulling her against my throbbing desire. A groan escaped me, a mix of relief and anguish.

"Xen!" She gasped, her hand flying to clutch my shoulder. Her widened eyes met mine in astonishment. This was the third time I had crossed the boundaries—the boundaries created by her emotional scars—scars that no one else could see, but I witnessed the sadness and pain they inflicted. And now those same eyes were challenging me to break those boundaries.

I kissed the shell of her ear, sending a shiver down her spine, and feeling the fire within me intensify.

"You can't tempt me like that again, Rose," I whispered huskily in her ear, running my hands from her knees to her thighs, tracing the tender flesh through the layers of her robe and thin shift. It promised me heavenly warmth. My hand longed to remove those layers and take what I needed. No! The beast inside me growled. I had never felt my wolf growl and claw to be set free as strongly as this.

"Xen." Rose's hand reached for my face. I inhaled her intoxicating desire, wondering how slick she must be between her legs, her heartbeat erratic yet matching mine. I caressed her face, tracing her soft lips, yearning to kiss and savor them, but... what if she pulled away? She never has, but what if it becomes too much for her? She caressed my face, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensation. When I opened them, my desire was mirrored in her eyes.

A smile graced her lips. Damn it, I craved that smile.

"You're afraid I'll push you away," she stated.

"After your nightmare the last time," I tried to make her understand the fear within me. She couldn't bear any form of touch anymore—I still remember how she recoiled from it. The night before that, I had broken our boundaries, and afterward, she couldn't bear being touched at all. I can't risk it again.

"I can handle it," she whispered, her fingertips caressing my cheeks.

"I want more," she whispered.

"Rose..." I warned her one last time before my control shattered.

"How long will you keep asking, my dear husband?"

I looked at her, astonished. She said those words for the first time.

"Say it again," I demanded.

"How long will you keep asking?"

"No, after that," I urged.

"My dear husband," she replied.

That broke my control. I lifted her in my arms and placed her on the table, knocking everything in our path to the floor. I crushed my lips to hers, devouring her essence like a starving man, while the beast within me roared with relief. I know we can't go too far; she needs to remember everything before we cross all the boundaries, and I claim her as mine. Because once I do, I won't be able to let her go. I'm still unsure if I ever will. What if, in the end, she chooses to leave me?