Chapter 65 Thus isn't what I want
Melissa’s POV
I left Jason’s room with my iPad, my heart was beating with so much pent up anger, I’ll have to beat someone up soon.
I pushed open my bedroom door and stopped short.
Aria was awake, sitting on my bed, already dressed in a cream sweater and jeans. Her purple hair was pulled back in a loose bun, and she’d tried to cover the bruise on her cheek with makeup, though I could still see the shadow of it beneath.
She looked up when I entered, and her smile was tired but genuine.
“Hey,” she said softly. “I should probably head home. My parents are already blowing up my phone.”
“Already?” I set my iPad on my desk.
“Yeah, but you know how they are.” She stood, brushing invisible wrinkles from her jeans. “Can’t have their precious investment going rogue for too long.”
The bitterness in her voice made my chest ache.
“You can stay longer,” I offered. “As long as you need.”
“I know.” She crossed to me and took my hands in hers. “But I need to face them eventually. Might as well be now while I still have the courage.”
She squeezed my hands once, then headed for the door.
I followed her out to the living room, where Mom was in the kitchen making coffee. She was still in her silk robe from last night, her hair loose around her shoulders. She looked softer like this. Just like when it was just both of us in our apartment.
“Leaving already, sweetheart?” Mom asked when she saw Aria.
“Yeah.” Aria’s smile was small. “Thanks for letting me crash here. I really needed it.”
“Anytime, honey.” Mom set down her coffee mug and pulled Aria into a quick hug. “You’re always welcome here. Don’t forget that.”
When they separated, Aria leaned in and kissed Mom’s cheek. “Thank you, Diana.”
Then she turned to me.
I opened my arms and she stepped into them, hugging me tight. Her face pressed against my shoulder, and I felt her take a shaky breath.
“I love you,” she whispered directly into my ear. “Whatever happens with all of this, don’t let them change you. Don’t let anyone make you smaller.”
I squeezed her tighter, my throat tight with emotion.
She pulled back, gave me one last fierce look, then grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“Text me when you get home,” I called after her.
“I will.” She said cheerfully and then she was gone.
“She’s a sweet girl,” Mom said from the kitchen. “I’m glad you have her as a friend.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Me too.”
I wandered back toward my room, my mind spinning with everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. But as I passed the hallway that led to the balcony, something made me stop at the large glass door.
I turned slowly, drawn by an invisible thread and there he was.
Gavin stood at the balcony sink and it looked like he was washing something. A coffee mug, maybe. His back was to me, and he wore dark slacks and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
I couldn’t move. I could only stand there and watch.
The morning sunlight painted him in gold, highlighting the powerful lines of his shoulders, the way his muscles shifted beneath the fabric as he moved. Water ran over his hands, over the sharp angles of his forearms where his tattoo wrapped around tanned skin…intricate black lines that I’d traced with my fingers in our stolen moments.
He was beautiful. Devastatingly, impossibly beautiful.
And watching him do something so mundane, so domestic, made my heart stutter in my chest.
He rinsed the mug slowly, like he had all the time in the world.
I wanted to go to him. I wanted to walk out onto that balcony and slide my arms around his waist from behind. I wanted to feel the solid warmth of him, breathe in his scent, let him turn and pull me against him.
I wanted to kneel before him.
The thought hit me with startling clarity, sending a shock of desire straight through my core. I could imagine it so clearly…me on my knees, looking up at him while he looked down at me with those devastating blue eyes, his hand gentle in my hair, his voice low and commanding and mine. Using the cuffs I found in his office. Will he command me, if I asked?
Heat pooled low in my belly. I felt myself get wet, instantly.
I pulled back sharply, stumbling away from the doorway.
But the movement must have caught his attention because he turned and looked directly at me through the glass.
He didn’t smile. Didn’t move. Just looked at me with an expression that made my knees go weak.
Longing. Raw, devastating longing mixed with something darker. Something that looked like a promise.
My hand lifted of its own accord, reaching toward him, my palm aching to press against the glass. To close the distance between us even though I knew I shouldn’t.
His gaze dropped to my outstretched hand, then back to my face.
I jerked my hand back and turned away, practically fleeing down the hallway to my room.
“Stupid,” I whispered harshly once I was safely behind my closed door. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
I slapped my own cheek lightly, trying to snap myself out of whatever spell he’d cast.
I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t let myself feel these things. Not until I had answers. Not until I understood what was really happening.
Not until I knew if the man who’d kissed me last night…who’d hurt me…was Gavin or someone else entirely.
I went to my closet on autopilot, rifling through hangers until I found a simple black dress. Knee-length, modest neckline, with long sleeves. I laid it on my bed, smoothing the fabric.
Then I grabbed my iPad and opened my writing app, desperate for a distraction.
The blank page stared back at me. The cursor was blinking. Come on Melissa, write. Just write something
732 notifications still waited. My readers were begging for an update.
I tried to write. I tried to channel everything I was feeling into words. But nothing came. The cursor just blinked and blinked, mocking my paralysis.
I closed the document with a frustrated sigh and checked my notifications instead.
New follower: ShadowKing_Reads
I blinked at the username, a small smile tugging at my lips despite everything.
I clicked on their profile. But there was no profile picture. No other information.
I shook it off and set the iPad aside, glancing at my phone.
2:47 PM.
Five hours until Jason picked me up. I looked at the black dress on my bed. At my iPad with its blinking cursor. At the closed door between me and the rest of the penthouse.
Between me and Gavin.
“This isn’t what I want,” I whispered to the empty room.
But I had no idea what I wanted anymore.
No idea who to trust.
No idea how to stop wanting him even though I should.