Chapter 33 Breaking
Melissa’s POV
I woke up screaming.
The sound ripped from my throat before I could stop it. My hands twisted in the sheets, my chest heaving like I’d been running for miles.
Dad’s face. The hospital. Fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. The smell of antiseptic and decay. His hand went limp in mine while machines beeped their flat, final song.
“No…no, please…”
I threw off the covers and stumbled to the bathroom. My knees hit the cold tile just as my stomach revolted. I heaved into the toilet, nothing coming up but bile and the sour taste of terror.
When it finally stopped, I stayed there on the floor. My forehead pressed against my arm. My whole body kept shaking.
I thought I was getting better.
The nightmares had been constant after Dad died. Every single night for months. Then they’d got better after I started therapy …it faded to once a week, then once a month. I’d started to believe they were finally gone.
But they weren’t gone.
I pulled myself up and rinsed my mouth at the sink. My reflection stared back at me. I looked pale, and hollow-eyed, my hair stuck to my damp forehead. I looked like I’d crawled out of a grave.
The clock read 4:47 AM.
I was scared to fall asleep again. My demons were waiting for me there.
I sat on the bathroom floor and pulled my knees to my chest. My fingers found their rhythm against my shins. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. The pattern was the only thing that made sense.
………
By six o’clock I’d showered and dressed on autopilot. I wore black slacks. White blouse buttoned all the way to my collar…the mark given to me by Gavin and Troy was almost gone now. So I didn’t need to wear makeup.
I took a deep breath just needed to survive today.
The kitchen was empty when I passed through. No Gavin making breakfast. No smell of coffee or spices. Just silence.
Good.
I grabbed my bag and left before anyone else woke up.
The subway was packed. Bodies pressed too close to mine. Someone’s elbow dug into my ribs. The air was stale and warm and suffocating.
My fingers tapped against my thigh. Tap tap tap.
I pulled out my phone and found my playlist. The one I’d made for days like this.
Soft music filled my ears, drowning out the world.
By the time I reached the arena, my breathing had steadied.
The executive floor was quiet at seven-thirty. Only a few early arrivals scattered through the building. I let myself into Gavin’s office, grateful he wasn’t there yet.
My new desk sat exactly where Marcus had set it up yesterday. I dropped my bag and pulled out my laptop, moving mechanically.
My fingers tapped against the desk while the computer booted up. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.
The door opened behind me.
I didn’t turn around. I didn't need to. I felt him immediately…the shift in air, the weight of his presence.
Gavin set his coffee on his desk. The sound was too loud in the quiet office.
I kept my eyes on my screen, opening files I didn’t need to open. Anything to look busy.
He didn’t speak. Just moved to his chair and sat down.
Minutes passed. Ten. Twenty. The silence was suffocating.
My fingers tapped faster. Tap tap tap tap tap.
I felt his eyes on me but I didn’t look up. I couldn't look up.
An hour crawled by. Then another. I coordinated with the photographer’s team. I Confirmed his wardrobe. Reviewed shot lists. All while my fingers drummed constantly against whatever surface was closest.
Tap tap tap against my desk.
Tap tap tap against my coffee mug.
Tap tap tap against my thigh under the desk where he couldn’t see.
But he noticed anyway. I caught him watching me more than once, his expression was unreadable.
At eleven, I stood abruptly. “I’m going to check on the studio setup.”
“Sit down.”
The command in his voice made me freeze.
“I have work…”
“Sit. Down.”
I sat.
Silence stretched between us. Heavy and suffocating.
Then he stood.
My heart slammed against my ribs as he walked across the office. Past my desk to the door.
The lock clicked.
Oh God.
He turned back to me. His eyes were dark. Intense. Burning with something I couldn’t name.
“Gavin…”
He reached me in three strides. His hands went to my waist and he lifted me effortlessly, sitting down in my chair and pulling me onto his lap in one smooth motion.
I gasped. “What are you…”
His arms banded around me, pressing me against his chest. One hand came up to cup the back of my head, holding me there. My face was buried in his neck. His heartbeat thundered against my cheek.
“If something is going on,” he said quietly, his voice rough, “I’ll take care of it for you. No questions asked.”
My breath hitched.
His hand stroked through my hair. Once. Twice. The gesture was so gentle it made my chest ache.
“Tell me what you need.” His other arm tightened around my waist. “Tell me and I’ll make it happen.”
I hadn’t seen feelings on Gavin’s face before. Not real ones. He was always so controlled, so cold, so perfectly composed.
But right now, holding me like this, his voice cracking slightly on the words…
He looked like seeing me hurt physically hurt him.
Something inside me shattered.
I pulled back just enough to see his face. Those ice-blue eyes searched mine, and for once there was no mask. No wall. Just raw concern and something deeper I didn’t want to name.
My hands came up to frame his face.
Then I pressed my mouth to his.
The kiss was desperate and messy. My lips trembling against his as everything I’d been holding back since four forty-seven this morning came pouring out.
He made a sound low in his throat and kissed me back just as fiercely. His hand fisted in my hair while his other arm crushed me against him.
We were just two people barely holding themselves together, clinging to each other like drowning.
When I finally pulled back, we were both breathing hard.
“Let’s go,” I whispered against his lips.
His eyes darkened. “Where?”
“Anywhere. I don’t care. Just…” My voice broke. “I can’t be here right now. I need…”
I didn’t know what I needed. Just that staying in this office, pretending to work, pretending I was fine…I couldn’t do it anymore.
His jaw tightened. Then he stood, lifting me with him and setting me on my feet.
“Get your things.”
I grabbed my bag with shaking hands while he walked to his desk. He typed something on his phone, then pocketed it.
“The photoshoot…”
“Rescheduled.” He looked at me. “Let’s go.”
We walked to the elevator in silence. The doors closed, sealing us in the small space.
I stared at the floor numbers ticking down, my fingers tapping against my thigh. Tap tap tap.
Gavin’s hand covered mine, stilling the movement.
I looked up.
His eyes held mine as the elevator descended. He didn’t speak. I didn't need to.
The doors opened to the parking garage. He kept his hand on mine, leading me to his car.
We got in. He started the engine.
And we drove away from the arena, away from work and responsibilities and everything that made sense.
I didn’t ask where we were going.
I didn’t care.
I just knew that for the first time since waking up screaming this morning, I could finally breathe.