Chapter 41 Loving Me Is Not A Fairytale

Chapter 41 Loving Me Is Not A Fairytale
The words hang between us like smoke that refuses to clear. They slipped out raw and unfiltered, born from the high of his body still pressed against mine, from the way he filled every empty space inside me until nothing else existed. I feel my chest rise and fall too fast as his cum begins slipping between my thighs.
I'm waiting for him to say something, anything. A reciprocal whisper. A soft laugh. Even a kiss to swallow the confession back down.
Nothing comes.
The silence stretches, pressing down on my ribs until breathing feels like work. Cole’s body, which moments ago moved with such fierce purpose inside me, now feels rigid. His hand, still resting on my hip, twitches once before going still. I can feel his heartbeat against my palm where it rests on his chest, steady as ever, while mine hammers like it wants to escape.
I swallow hard and force my voice to work. “Cole, I didn’t… I mean, that just came out. The heat of the moment and everything we just did made… um… You don’t have to say anything back. Just forget I said it.”
He doesn’t move at first. Then, slowly, he pulls out of me, the loss of him sharp enough to make me bite back a sound. He sits up on the edge of the couch with his back to me, and runs a hand through his damp hair. The muscles in his shoulders shift under his skin as he reaches for his sweatpants and stands, pulling them on without looking at me.
“You should go,” he says in a low commanding tone, like he’s giving instructions at practice. “Before they get back.”
The words land like a slap. I push myself up, suddenly aware of how naked I am, how exposed. My clothes lie scattered across the floor, a map of how quickly we had fallen into each other again. I grab my shirt and yank it over my head, feeling the fabric sticking to my still-heated skin.
“I should go?” I repeat, the word cracking. “That’s it? I say something real and you tell me to leave like I’m some girl you picked up after a game?”
He turns then, finally meeting my eyes. His face is closed off, that familiar wall sliding back into place. “Riley, this is not the time.”
“Not the time?” I stand too, legs still shaky from what we just shared, and step closer. “When is the time, Cole? After you fuck me senseless on your couch and then pretend none of it matters? After you take my sister out on dates to cover your tracks? After you kill people who touch me but won’t even admit what this is between us?”
His jaw tightens. “I said not now, Riley. Someone will be home soon.”
“Oh what a manly thing to do,” I scoff. “Using your daughter to hide just how much of a soulless asshole you are who has no feelings past a hard fucking dick!”
By the time I’m done with my sentence, I’m full on shouting now, but I don’t care. Cole’s jaw clenches and unclenches, then clenches again.
“You think I don’t feel anything?” He says, taking a single step towards me. “That I just use you and walk away? I have spent weeks trying to keep you out of the parts of my life that would destroy you. The warehouse. The shipments. The men who answer to me. You saw one night and you still came back. But loving me means stepping into all of it, and I won’t let that happen to you.”
I laugh, but there is no humor in it, only the sting of rejection burning in my throat. “So you get to decide what I can and can’t handle? You get to fuck me, protect me in your twisted way, and then push me out the door when I dare to feel something bigger than fear and lust? That’s convenient for you?”
“I am trying to protect you,” he says, voice rising now. “From me. From the life that comes with me. You have soccer. Scouts talking to you after the game. A future that does not involve looking over your shoulder every time a car slows down. If you love me, you'll walk away before it is too late.”
“Too late for what?” I snap, stepping right into his space, close enough to smell the soap on his skin mixed with the scent of us. “Too late for me to realize you only want me when it’s easy? When Lena is not around and Emma is not asking questions? You took her out, Cole. You kissed her hand in front of me like it meant nothing, and now you stand here telling me you are protecting me? From what? From the truth that I am just a distraction you cannot quit?”
His eyes flash with something dark. “You think I enjoyed that night with your sister? I spent the entire freaking night thinking of nothing but you. And when I tried to explain everything to you, you slapped me. Then you ran to your little boy toy and kissed him on the field where you knew I would see. So do not stand there and accuse me of using you when you have been playing the very same games.”
The words hit hard, each one landing like a fresh bruise. I feel my cheeks heat, anger and hurt twisting together until I cannot tell which is which.
“Jake saved me that night at the party.” I jab a finger at him. “While you were off doing whatever weird ass mobster shit you do, he carried me out of the face of danger. And yes, I kissed him to hurt you. Because every time I get close to you, you pull back just enough to remind me I am not allowed to have all of you.”
I let my voice drop low and lethal as I add, “Besides, at least Jake doesn’t have blood on his hands that he wipes off like it is nothing.”
There’s a tense moment of silence as the words leave my mouth. Cole’s hands clench at his sides.
“You have no idea what blood looks like in my world, Riley. Those boys touched you. They filmed you. They would have ruined you for sport and I made sure they cannot do that to anyone else. And you stood on the balcony that night and asked me to do the same to Haley and Sarah. You asked me to cross a line I have never crossed, and when I refused because I don’t want that darkness touching you, you went and smashed their phones like a child throwing a tantrum. And look where that got you… damn near suspended until I came in again to save your ass. And now you throw it in my face?”
I shove at his chest, not hard enough to move him but enough to feel the solid wall of him under my palms. “I asked because they tried to destroy me! Because I was tired of waiting for you to decide when I was worth saving. And yes, I regret how I handled it. But at least I tried. At least I did not hide behind some code while the people who hurt me kept walking around like nothing happened. You say you would break every rule for me, but the second I say I love you, you tell me to leave. Make it make sense, Cole.”
His breathing has grown heavier, matching mine. The space between us feels electric, charged with everything we have never fully said.
“Because loving me is not a fairy tale, Riley.” His voice is calmer now. “It’s not late night drives and helicopter rides and sex on my couch. It’s men like Thorpe at the gala watching you too closely. It’s phone calls in the middle of the night that I cant explain. It’s the chance that one day someone decides the best way to hurt me is through you. I lost my wife. I will not lose you the same way because I was selfish enough to keep you.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Not now. Not when anger feels safer than the ache spreading through my chest. “So instead you push me away after I give you everything? After I let you inside me again and again, knowing exactly who you are? That is not protection, Cole. That is fear. You are scared that if I stay, I will see all of you and still choose you. And that terrifies you more than any rival or shipment ever could.”
He opens his mouth to respond, something sharp already forming on his tongue, when the sound the front door creaking open downstairs comes.
“Dad?” Lena’s voice carries up from the entryway. “You home? I think I lost my charger, I need to borrow yours.”
My heart stops. Cole’s eyes widen slightly, the fight draining from his face in an instant, replaced by raw alarm. We are both half-dressed, the room is still heavy with the scent of sex, my clothes are scattered, and his sweatpants are the only thing covering him.
Lena’s footsteps start up the stairs, each one louder than the last.
“Dad? You up here?”
We don’t move. My pulse thunders in my ears. Cole’s hand twitches toward me like he wants to pull me behind him, but there is nowhere to hide. The bedroom door is open. The hallway light spills in. Any second now she will reach the top and see us.
Her voice comes again, closer this time, laced with mild confusion. “Hello? I thought I heard voices…”
And the footsteps pause just outside the room.