There's a tightness in my chest, but I take a deep breath. "I didn't think you'd find out so quickly. I didn't want to hurt you so soon after the funerals." Everything is jumbled in my head. Jacob and Lauren had fallen for each other before my parent's accident and I didn't even suspect it. "So, what happened over the summer? Did you really want me back?" I ask him. "I really did feel bad about how everything went down. Lauren and I weren't seeing each other much at the end of summer break, so I figured I should try to get back with you," he says. He lets out a small laugh. "Then you started spending all this time with Parker and it seemed like he was feeding you all this bullshit about me and it made me angry. I wanted to make things worse, but I probably hurt you anyway just by trying to get back together. Lauren and I have fixed things and that's what I wanted to talk to you about the other day before you blew up on me." It all doesn't make sense. There are still so many questions. "What about the times you kissed me?" "Trying to convince myself I want you," he shrugs. "Bad idea, I know." "You have no idea how much you've screwed with my head lately," I rub my temples. Jacob doesn't want me back at all. Because him and Lauren were going through a rough patch, I got caught in the middle. "Trust me, I feel just as screwed up. For a while, I did want you back. I missed you," he says, looking directly at me. I remember what Dylan said about Jacob never letting me be my own person. I know he's right. Jacob has been inserting himself into my thoughts for the past couple of months and more so while we were still together. In a way, it feels like he's still doing it. I need to clear my mind of him. "How are you and Lauren now?" I ask him. "I think we're okay," he nods. "She's been helping me with the divorce stuff. She even met my mom the other day." Interesting development. "How did that go?" "My mom doesn't like her. She sees her as the other woman, thanks to you," he sighs. "I told my mom everything, like everything everything. She isn't happy with me, probably because it's exactly what my dad did to her." "Understandable," I nod. "Can you do me a favor?" "What's that?" "Let Lauren be her own person," I say hesitantly. "I don't know if you did it intentionally, but it's something you did to me while we were together." Jacob shakes his head. "I don't—" "Whether it is on purpose or not," I interrupt him. "Just let her think for herself. Don't tell her what she should think because that's not a relationship. That's ownership." He looks like he wants to argue, but lets it go. "Fine." "And your mom will forgive you. Just don't cheat again, okay?" "Okay," he nods. "You know, I miss your friendship. It reminds me of before I ask you to be my girlfriend." "That is definitely a long time ago," I say, letting out a sigh. Those days were simpler. "But the last time I wanted to be your friend, you kissed me." He holds his hands up. "No kissing this time. I'm a loyal man now, remember?" Being Jacob's guinea pig for a serious relationship will be a great story to tell later on in life. Remember the time I had to teach my ex how to be in a healthy relationship with his new girlfriend, whom he cheated on me with? Good times. "What about you?" he raises a brow. "You and Parker together now?" One door is closed, but another has opened and Dylan's face is plastered all over it. "No," I shake my head. "We argued because he didn't tell me he knew about you and Lauren." "Listen, Lace, I'm probably not one to talk, but it isn't his fault." He gives me a sympathetic smile. "I still don't like him, but don't punish him for something I did." He's right. It isn't Dylan's fault and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I know he didn't want me to be hurt all over again. I know what I want to do and maybe it's the right choice. Later that day I meet up with Dylan at the ice cream shop and I tell him about my conversation with Jacob and why I can't jump into another relationship for a while. Casey is right. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I just need to see how everything plays out. If Dylan and I are meant to be together, then it will happen that way. If not, then I'll have to accept that too. "It's what I have to do," I tell him. "And I think you need to make a decision about Kay. I'm not going to be with you knowing she's still chasing after you. I don't think it's fair to me or to you." He scoffs. "Kay will quickly get the hint that I don't want her." "Then tell her that. She won't leave you alone if you ignore her." "Is that is this is really about? Kay? Because I can get rid of her. I don't care if Xavier kicks the shit out of me for breaking her heart, or whatever the fuck. I can get her to leave us alone," he says urgently. I shake my head. "It's not only that. I need my head to be clear. I've lost too many people in less than a year, and it's hitting me hard right now." "I can help you, Lace," he grabs my hands. "I didn't know your parents, but I'd like to know about them. Talking sometimes helps the grieving process, right?" It's a sweet gesture and my heart is fills with happiness knowing Dylan wants to help me through it. "If I keep depending on people to help me, then I'll never be able to do anything on my own." Nothing comes out of his mouth for a minute. He runs a hand through his hair and nods finally. "Okay. I'll give you the time you need," he says. There's a moment of pause before he says, "But if you're happier on your own, then let me know as soon as you figure it out. I don't want to wait for you only to find out you're over me." "I won't lead you on. I promise," I give him a smile. When we walk out of the ice cream shop, he spins me around, plants a sweet kiss on my lips, and then is gone in a flash.