I'm not sure how to go about the rest of my life knowing I had kissed my ex who cheated on me right after my parents died. How do I do it? How do I recover? My mom, if she's watching over me somehow, is probably pissed at me. I successfully avoid Jacob for the rest of the weekend. Monday will be a different story. I'll have to face him in class and I don't know what I'll say to him. He's sent me text after text and I've ignored them all. He wants to talk about what happened and I'm not ready. I'm angry at myself for kissing him back. In the moment it didn't feel like one, but it was one giant mistake. When I park on campus on Monday, I sit in my car, gripping the steering wheel. Maybe this is one of those necessary times to skip like Dylan say. Is it acceptable to skip more than one class? I need a whole day off just to think things through. This is a problem I can't deal with while seeing Jacob. A knock on my window makes me jump out of my skin. Dylan is standing behind the window and I try to calm myself. I roll the window down. "You're staring off into space and it looks like you might break your steering wheel off," he says. I wonder if he decided to forget the argument we had on Friday. "I—" I don't know what to say. He looks at me expectantly. "It was a long weekend." "I can tell." He puts his arm on my car and peers in. "We should probably head in before we're late." "Right." I roll the window back up, shut the car off, and grab my bag. Dylan waits for me as I get out and lock my car. I don't wait for him though, as I walk ahead of him. I hear him laugh behind me. "Is your dress inside out? Or is the tag supposed to stick out like that?" My red striped t-shirt dress looks the same inside and out. Did I really put it on wrong this morning? I reach for the tag instantly, which is sticking out, then feel the seams, which are facing out instead of in. "Perfect," I mutter. "I guess it was a long weekend," Dylan chuckles. "I have to go change." "You're welcome to change right here," his smile turns mischievous. I narrow my eyes at him. "Aren't you mad at me?" It's strange that he's acting normal again. "About that," he says. "It wasn't my place to butt in. After the things you've told me about him, I guess I was trying to look out for you and it didn't come out how I wanted." I raise a brow. "Are you apologizing?" He scoffs and I know I should've known better than to ask. "I never apologize. I still think he's a piece of shit." "Fair enough," I shrug. I can't help but feel guilty also for the things I said to him. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. Friends?" "Friends." The image of him and that girl enters my mind and I want to ask him about her, but we're already in the main building and I need to fix my dress situation. "I'll see you in class." "Later," he says, walking off. I meet up with Casey in the cafeteria for lunch. I have to tell her about the incident with Jacob. I have dug myself into a hole I can't get out of and I'm in desperate need of her help. She won't be happy with the choices I've made without her. Casey sits down with her food across from me and smiles. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." "It has been forever, and a lot has happened that I need to tell you." As soon as I say it, she leans in closer. "I'm all ears." I start by telling her about me accepting Jacob's invitation to the soccer game. She makes a face of disapproval, but stays silent as I tell her about the events that happened after the game. Then comes the part about the kiss and how I kissed him back. She smacks her forehead. "What the hell have you done, Lace?" "I know," I say pushing my hair out of my face. "I got caught up in the moment." "That clearly means this friendship, which you said would help you move on, is not working. It's obvious he wants to be more than friends again." "I have class with him later. I don't even want to see him," I say, picking at my food that no longer looks appealing. "You gotta make a choice now," she shrugs. "Either you admit to yourself that you still have feelings for him and go back to him, or you delete him from your life completely and move on, like you should've done in the first place." "Well, you clearly aren't biased," I say. "He broke your heart after you lost your parents," she says, giving me a deadpan look. "Of course I don't want you to get back together with him." I can't make a choice right then. It's too sudden, too daunting of a task. I want to explain yet again how I feel, but it's becoming redundant. We've had the conversation over and over during the summer and I still can't make up my mind. We finish our lunch and head for class once lunch is over. I'm weirdly eager to get to English so I can see Dylan. I feel a sense of relief that we're on good terms again. He's in his spot already when I enter the classroom. He smiles as I sit in my seat. "Good lunch?" "Very good," I say. "Nothing like eating a high-quality cafeteria lunch." Even though I hadn't really touched it. "And here I thought your new favorite thing was going to get ice cream for lunch." "Obviously I can't get ice cream without you," I laugh. "You're a quick learner." The smirk on his face makes my cheeks warm. I suddenly feel guilty when that girl he was with comes to mind. What if he's taken and here I am being flirty? An icky feeling takes over. Class starts and I face forward, but my mind is still wandering. Dylan seems to be a private person, not exactly an open book. Will he tell me he has a girlfriend if I get too flirty with him? Or does he have a serious disregard for the fact that he's in a relationship? We don't talk much in class. Mrs. Beattie has us doing individual work again and it's more reading than anything. Towards the end of class, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I sneakily pull it out and scan over the message that's on the screen. It's from Dylan. Skipping next period to go to Raven's. U wanna go? My heart flutters a bit when I read it. Do I really want to miss journalism to go with him? I text him back. Lemme think.