Chapter 75 After the impact

Chapter 75 After the impact

---
The first thing Elowen became aware of was her heartbeat.
It thundered so violently against her ribs that for one terrifying second she was certain Lucian could feel it.
They were still frozen on the mat.
His arm remained locked around her waist, steady and instinctive, as though some part of him had forgotten they were supposed to let go.
And his eyes.. God! His eyes were still fixed on her mouth.
The realization sent heat rushing through her so fast it made her dizzy.
Elowen jerked back as though the contact had burned her and that little abrupt movement nearly sent her sprawling again, but Lucian released her instantly, his hands falling away so quickly it almost looked like restraint.
She scrambled to her feet..
Her face was on fire, her lungs refused to function properly and the entire gym suddenly felt unbearably hot.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Lucian remained seated on the mat, one knee bent with his pale hair falling slightly over his forehead.
He looked as rattled as she felt which on a normal setup should have comforted her but instead, it somehow made everything worse because it meant she hadn’t imagined it.
That moment had been real.. That charged, suspended silence.
Lucian cleared his throat and stood.
“Well,” he said, his voice rougher than usual, “that was deeply humiliating and a bit embarrassing don’t you think?.”
Elowen let out a breathless, brittle laugh.
“Yea yea.. Your ego survives yet another tragedy.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Barely.”
The attempt at humor should have eased the tension.. It didn’t.
If anything, it only sharpened the awkwardness hanging thickly between them because now they knew that they  were both pretending.. Pretending neither of them had felt it.
Pretending their bodies hadn’t gone still for entirely the wrong reasons.
Pretending the impossible gravity pulling between them didn’t exist.
Elowen forced herself to bend down and retrieve her fallen clipboard.
“Again.”
The word came out too sharp and Lucian’s brows lifted.
“Again?”
“Yes.”
“Elowen.. ”
“Unless falling dramatically onto the mat has permanently impaired your hearing.”
Something unreadable flickered across his face then, silently, he reset his stance training resumed or at least the strained, fractured imitation of it.
Everything felt off.. Their timing.. Their rhythm.
The easy familiarity they had built over months of work had splintered into hyper-awareness.
Every brush of skin now felt deliberate, every correction felt too intimate and every glance was held a dangerous second too long.
Elowen’s concentration shattered repeatedly as she barked instructions too late, missed obvious mistakes and repeated combinations she had already assigned.
As for Lucian.. He was no better. He stumbled through drills he had mastered weeks ago, his footwork slipped and his reactions lagged.
Twice he forgot combinations entirely and by the third mistake, Elowen snapped.
“Focus.”
Lucian stared at her and the corner of his mouth twitched.
“You say that like you’re currently setting an inspiring example.”
Heat climbed her neck. “I’m not the one who forgot how to throw a basic cross.”
“No,” he said mildly. “You’re just glaring at me like I personally offended gravity.”
That earned him another sharp glare which in turn only widened his faint, infuriating smile.
The tension shifted and now threaded with something softer, almost playful and somehow that unsettled Elowen even more.
By the time training finally ended, her nerves were stretched to breaking point.
She packed her bag too quickly, nearly dropping her wraps in the process.
Lucian noticed. “You’re leaving fast.”
“I have things to do.”
The lie came automatically and he casually leaned against the ropes.
“Running away usually works well for you?”
“What?”
His expression remained deceptively neutral. “You’ve been avoiding eye contact for the last forty minutes.”
Her pulse jumped. “That’s called mercy.”
“No,” he said softly, “it’s called avoidance.”
The quiet certainty in his voice hit far too close but before he could think of a cutting reply, he added..
“For what it’s worth… I’m just as distracted as you are but oh well.. goodnight I guess.”
The words stole whatever response she had prepared.
Lucian held her gaze for one long, devastating moment then he quickly looked away and somehow, that simple act of mercy rattled her more than if he had pressed further.
Without another word, she turned and fled for her dear life or heart.. cause it had started beating awfully fast again.
.
.
Laura was waiting outside Elowen’s final lecture the next morning and one look at her friend’s expression and Elowen immediately knew she was doomed.
Laura wore theat unmistakable face of someone in possession of dangerous information, the kind of face that usually preceded relentless teasing.
“Oh no,” Elowen muttered.
Laura grinned. “Oh yes.”
“I haven’t done anything I .”
“Interesting defense considering I didn’t accuse you of anything at all.”
Elowen groaned and Laura linked their arms then practically dragged her across campus.
“So.”
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”
“I know enough.”
Laura’s grin widened. “That obvious, huh?”
Elowen shot her a warning look but Laura ignored it.
“You’ve had that exact expression since this morning.”
“What expression?”
“The one where your face says I am deeply unsettled by my own emotions and would rather die than discuss them.”
Elowen stared at her. “That is wildly specific.”
Laura laughed. “So something did happen.”
“Nothing happened.”
“Mhmm.”
“Laura.”
“What? I’m just saying. You look like someone who accidentally discovered Lucian Langford shirtless and had a minor spiritual and mental crisis.”
Heat flooded Elowen’s face so violently that Laura actually stopped walking and her eyes instantly widened.
“Oh my God.”
“Stop talking.”
“Oh my God.”
“Laura.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“That blush says otherwise.”
“There is no blush.”
Laura leaned in dramatically. “Elowen.”
“Laura.”
“Did you kiss him?”
The words hit like a physical blow and Elowen nearly tripped over absolutely nothing which made Laura gasp.
“Oh my fucking goodness!!! You did.”
“We did not.”
“But almost?.”
“No.”
“That wasn’t convincing.”
Elowen yanked her arm free and kept walking and Laura hurried after her, openly delighted.
“This is incredible.”
“It is not.”
“You like him don’t you.”
“I absolutely do not.”
Laura gave her a long, exaggerated look. “Elowen, you just turned the exact shade of a ripe tomato.”
“This conversation is over.”
Laura laughed the entire way across campus.
That night, Elowen lay awake staring at the ceiling.. Again.
Only this time it wasn’t bills or overdue notices keeping her restless.
It was Lucian.
It was the memory of his arm around her waist, the heat of his body beneath hers and the way his eyes had dropped to her mouth.
Then there was his quiet confession afterward.
‘I’m just as distracted.’
Her stomach twisted as she turned onto her side then onto her back and that wasn’t still enough so she buried her face into her pillow in pure frustration.
This was ridiculous.
No! It was absurd.
Lucian was supposed to be temporary.. A job.
He was supposed to just be a complicated, emotionally exhausting responsibility she had accepted out of financial necessity. He was not supposed to become this.. This impossible presence under her skin.
This persistent ache she could neither name nor ignore and well, after countless emotions and thoughts exhaustion claimed her.
And when sleep finally came, it brought him with it.
In the dream, they were back in the empty gym.
Lucian stood in front of her, close enough to touch while watching her with that same unbearable intensity.
Then he lifted his hand and brushed her cheek with his cheeks.
The touch was gentle and so tender that it stole her breath away and when he smiled it was so soft and warm and devastatingly real to the point that something inside her melted.
She leaned into his touch and this time, when he bent toward her.. she didn’t pull away.