Chapter 8

The scene inside the house was something from a nightmare. That was the only way Caleb could describe it. Azarth and Pandora stood in the midst of the carnage. Bodies were lying strewn and broken. There was no blood which shocked him. But there was the unmistakable smell of death. Everywhere. His stomach recoiled and he had to step back outside to catch his breath.

Conn left the unconscious man just inside the doorway, making Caleb have to step over his body to go outside. She remained inside with Pandora and Azarth. When he reentered the house a few minutes later they all stopped talking and looked at him.

“They agree,” Conn said. “With their help we can make him,” she said and pointed at the unconscious man, “believe that after he was overcome, others came to his aid and killed me. He alone escaped.”

“So, you think he’s just going to wake up and leave this?” Caleb gestured around them at the bodies. “You don’t think he’ll call for help?”

“He will not awaken here,” Pandora said. “We will move him to another location.”

“And what about this?” Caleb gestured around again. “If they were dispatched here then what makes you think they’ll believe they found nothing and then got lucky and found her somewhere else?”

“They will believe what we want them to believe,” Pandora said and smiled at the disbelief on Caleb’s face. “Trust me, human. We’ve been doing this since before your kind—”

“Crawled out of the primordial soup,” Caleb interrupted. “Yeah, I know. Still, there’s a lot of dead bodies here.”

“We have people en-route now,” Azarth replied. “Within hours it will be as it was before The Alliance attack.”

“As it was?” Caleb shouted. “As it was? Are you fucking insane? A dozen people died here, and you think anything can ever be as it was?”

Conn heard more than his words. She heard his heart. And hers came close to shattering into a million small pieces. He was right. Nothing would ever be as it was. Caleb would never forget the deaths that occurred here. He would never forget seeing her forcing her way into that man’s mind to break him and impose her will on him. He would never see her in the same light again. From this moment on when he looked at her, he would see only an alien who brought death and destruction with her.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “But we have to make it appear so for the others who live and work here. They cannot suspect that anything more than what they saw. Government agents arrived and took me into custody.”

“They’re not government agents. They’re fucking—”

Conn fought back the tears that threatened. “Go on, say it. They’re aliens. Some kind of freaks or vampires.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Yes, Caleb. It is.”

She sensed the presence of others and looked in the direction of the door. A moment later people began to file into the house. Silently they started gathering up the bodies. Caleb watched them with a look of distaste on his face that hurt her to see.

She turned her back on him. “Can you make sure that everyone on this ranch remembers me being taken into custody and nothing else??”

“Yes,” Azarth replied.

“Then please do so,” she said quietly. “I would like a few moments alone with Caleb.”

He and Pandora left, and she turned to face Caleb. “Could we take a walk please?”

“Gladly,” he said without hesitation, but did not take the hand she offered. She walked through the house and out of the back door, stopping beneath the shade of the ancient oak.

“I am so sorry, Caleb,” she said when he stopped beside her. “I’ve brought death into your home, and I can never undo that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said in a tone she read as grudging and knew from the connection she had with him, aptly described what he was feeling. She had no doubt that he cared for her. Deeply. But at the moment he also resented her. It was because of her that all of this had happened, and it was human nature to seek something to be angry about when horrible things happen that you cannot control.

Intellectually, she understood. Emotionally, she was devastated. She’d hoped the bond was stronger between them. Apparently, she was wrong.

“It is because I am here that this happened. I must leave, Caleb.”

Her words struck a chord inside him he didn’t want played. Right now, he needed to be mad, to let anger consume him so he didn’t have to feel that sickness that was curled in his belly, wanting to expand and take him over completely.

But the thought of her leaving was like acid washing through him, bitter and sharp.

“No.” He shook his head, wanting to take her into his arms, but unable to escape the image of her in the barn and the feral light that danced in her eyes as she tortured that man into submitting to the dictates of her mind.

“I love you, Conn. I do. It’s just that right now…”

“I know,” she whispered. “And I love you, Caleb. Too much to stay. You look at me and see some monster, a creature that brings death and torment and pain. You see me bending another to my will even when it causes excruciating pain. And that image will, in time, wash away all feelings of love you have for me, leaving only revulsion and anger, which will evolve into hate. And I cannot bear for you to hate me. I will leave with the others as soon as the repairs to your home have been completed.”

“Conn, no.” He took a step toward her but stopped short.

She looked up into his eyes and saw his pain. She felt it as if it was her own. And she knew she could not let him live with it. Steeling herself against her own pain, she stepped up to him.

“I love you, Caleb. I always will. But I will not destroy you.”

He flinched when she reached up and stroked the side of his face, then closed his eyes and tried to relax. She felt his struggle and she wanted to scream against the unfairness of it, shove it from her mind and pretend that none of the ugliness had happened. But there was to be no forgetting for her.

Caleb, on the other hand, did not have to remember. He must have sensed her intent because his eyes flew open and his hand clamped on hers, trying to pull it back from his face.

But Conn was stronger. She knew that now. And she’d rather force this on him than have him live with bitterness.

“Forget,” she whispered, pushing a tendril of energy into his mind.

“Don’t,” he gasped. “Conn…don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed and pressed deeper. “I love you, Caleb.”

His mouth opened in a silent howl as she pushed past his defenses. Within moments it was done. When his body went slack, she caught him, and propped him gently against the trunk of the old oak.

In sleep his face was relaxed and peaceful. She knelt down and kissed him, lingering so that in the long years to come she could remember the feel of him, the smell and taste of him.

“It is time,” Azarth said from behind her.

Conn rose, swiped at the tears on her face and turned. “When he wakes, he will believe that I have been taken into the custody of the NSA.”

“That is acceptable,” Azarth said. “Should he try to pursue you, he will meet only dead ends, for even if that particular agency did have you, they would never admit to it. You are, for all practical purposes, dead to him.”

That stabbed her in a way that made her breath hitch and suddenly it was all too horribly real. She’d mated with Caleb. Shared her spirit with him and she was bound to him for the duration of her life. And she would never be with him. Never have love in her life. From this day on, she would be alone.

“You are not alone, Raenea,” Azarth said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “We will place you with those of our own who will protect you and be your companions. They will teach you all you’ve forgotten of our people, and you can live a full and productive life. “

“But a life without love.”

Azarth made no comment. She didn’t expect him too. They both knew she was right.

*****

Something hard was poking him in the back, messing up the spicy dream. He and Conn were at the lake, making love in the water. Damn, what the hell was that? He rolled over and started to bunch his pillow up under this face. All he got was a face full of grass. Which had his eyes flying open.

“Oh shit!” He pushed himself up and ran for the house. How had he gotten out there? The last thing he remembered was being in the front room with Conn and those NSA agents.

He came to a sudden stop as the thought registered in his mind. They took her! How the hell had he gone to sleep? They’d taken Conn and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop them. So how in Sam Hill had he fallen asleep? Much less gotten outside?

He didn’t have any answers and at the moment that wasn’t nearly as important as finding Conn. There had to be some way to find out where they’d taken her. He ran inside and snatched up the phone.

His father answered on the second ring. “Somebody better be dying.”

Caleb hadn’t stopped to consider the time. It was just a few minutes past four in the morning.

“Sorry, dad. I need help.”

“You hurt?”

“They took Conn.”

“Yeah, I heard from Hinson an hour after he left the ranch. That little gal caused quite a mess, Caleb. And if the NSA has her, there’s no way we’re getting her back. I don’t want to be hard on you, boy, cause I know you’re hurtin’, but the sooner you write her off the better.”

“I just want to know where she is.”

“And you ain’t gonna get that, Caleb. You know what it means when the NSA takes someone into custody? It means they own her until they’re convinced she’s not a security threat to this country. And they don’t arrest people who are just ordinary law-abiding folks, son. If they have her, they probably have a good reason. Now I’m gonna hang up and I suggest you get your ass in gear and tend to what you can tend to, like the Circle R. G'night.”

The distinctive click of Charlie hanging up had Caleb slamming down the phone and kicking the refrigerator hard enough to leave a sizeable dent. There had to be something he could do to figure out where Conn had been taken.

An idea came to him. He grabbed his keys and headed out.

* * * * *

Chase’s house was dark when Caleb pulled up in front. But a light went on before he reached the front porch. The door opened to reveal Ana, sleepy eyed and wrapped in one of Chase’s old shirts. The legs of what appeared to be a pair of men’s boxer shorts peeked from between the held together folds of the shirt.

“Sorry,” Caleb said as she pushed the screen open for him.

“What’s happened?”

He followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the table as she started preparing a pot of coffee. “The NSA showed up and took Conn.”

“What?” Coffee grains spilled onto the countertop as she whirled to look at him. “When? What happened?”

“What the devil’s going on in here?” Chase bellowed from the hallway. A few moments later he walked into the kitchen, his jeans unbuttoned and his feet bare. “What the hell’s going on?” he asked.

“The NSA took Conn,” Ana said and turned her attention back to the coffee.

Chase blew out his breath, slung his hair back over his shoulders and took a seat across from Caleb. “Let’s have it.”

“It was a day out of hell. Hinson showed up to pick up a horse dad insisted I sell him. It was a mare Conn had gotten attached to. It balked and Hinson shocked it. Conn went at him and kicked his ass.”

Chase barked a laugh and Ana snickered. Caleb would have laughed, but all the humor had been sucked out of him. “Hinson was hollering about calling the law and out of the blue these two agents showed up. London and…something. The woman never gave her name. Anyway, they blew Hinson off with some bull about national security and him keeping his mouth shut or else, then they went inside with Conn and me.

“And announced they were taking her into custody. That she was a fugitive from justice and a threat to the security of this country.”

Caleb propped his elbows on the table, covering his face with his hands for a moment. “There wasn’t anything I could do. I just stood there, Chase. Stood there and watched them take her away.”

Chase reached across the table and put his hand over Caleb’s. “You both knew there was a chance it could happen. Question is, how did they know where to find her?”

Caleb hadn’t considered that. “Damn if I know. But I gotta find her.”

“Sorry bro, got no influence with the government.”

“I was thinking maybe Ana could help.”

“Ana?”

Caleb looked at Ana who had turned and was leaning against the counter, watching him. “Maybe you can hypnotize me or something and I’ll remember something one of them said that will give me a clue where they’ve taken her.”

Ana crossed the room and took a seat beside him, placing her hand on his arm to give it an affectionate squeeze. “Honey, that’s a long-shot at best, but I’ll try.”

“Then do it.”

Ana glanced at Chase. After a moment he nodded.

“Chase, would you get me that big candle from on top of the frig?” Ana asked as she got up and went to the pantry. She returned with an incense burner and a box of long fireplace matches.

After pouring a sprinkle of powdered incense into the metal burner, she lit it. It sparked then billowed, filling the room with a sweet yet spicy smell.

“What you want me to do with the candle?” Chase asked.

“Light it and set it on the hutch behind Caleb, then turn off the lights.”

In a minute they were all sitting at the table with the light from the single candle casting dancing shadows around them.

“Caleb, I’m going to strike this match. I want you to watch it burn.”

He nodded and she struck the match. It flamed to life, and she held it in front of him. “Watch the flame. See it consume the wood. The shorter the match gets, the more relaxed you feel. You’re feeling a little sleepy and that’s okay. Just keep your eye on the flame. When the flame dies you can close your eyes and sleep. You’re perfectly safe and relaxed. Just watch the flame.”

Caleb was feeling a little sleepy, which was odd. He’d never been wider awake in his life. He guessed panic did that to a person and sure as shit smelled, he was feeling more than a little panic.

He didn’t see the flame die. He didn’t even remember closing his eyes. But he knew they were closed. He just didn’t feel the need to open them.

Ana’s voice was soft and soothing. She led him through the day. Funny but he could remember it all so clearly now. Especially the look in Conn’s eyes when Hinson shocked that mare. And the way she screamed him name, looking to him to make it right and save the horse.

It made his chest hurt, like something had ballooned inside it and needed to escape. He didn’t realize what that something was until he felt wetness on his face. Was he crying?

He must have been because Ana said it was okay. He just needed to remember the NSA agents and what they said before they left with Conn.

Suddenly things weren’t so clear anymore. He couldn’t remember exactly what they said. He couldn’t even remember Conn saying anything. And why didn’t he remember seeing the car drive off? Surely, he didn’t just stand there and let them take her without watching her leave?

Confusion set it and with it the relaxation of a few moments ago fled. He opened his eyes. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Chase honey, turn on the lights,” Ana said softly.

“Why can’t I remember?” Caleb asked.

Ana regarded him in silence for a moment, gnawing absently on her bottom lip. “Maybe that’s not what really happened.”

“What?” Caleb’s voice was joined by Chases’ at almost the same moment.

Ana leaned back in her chair, arranging her arm so that she supported her right elbow in her left hand. Her right hand cupped her chin and her index finger tapped at her lips.

Caleb waited. And waited. Finally, he couldn’t take it. “Well?”

The lip tapping stopped. “I wasn’t going to say anything because…well because I wasn’t sure. But tonight, after we went to bed, I had a strong flash. It was Conn. She was in…the mountains. But not here. It was different. She wasn’t locked up. There were people with her. People who had eyes the same color she does. But she was sad and crying.”

“They had eyes the same color! Those NSA people. But what does that mean?”

“Probably that they’re not with the NSA,” Ana said. “In my vision I got the sense that the people she’s with are like her.”

“But why would her own people take her away?”

“To protect her,” Chase said, earning Caleb’s attention. “Think about it, little brother. Conn’s on the run. The military isn’t convinced she’s dead and it’s only a matter of time before they get a lead that brings them straight to the Circle R. Now, let’s suppose it was us. If I knew you were in danger, I’d snatch you out from under the military’s nose.”

“Especially if you weren’t human,” Ana added.

“There’s no proof that she’s…” Caleb couldn’t bring himself to say it. Didn’t want to believe it. Conn couldn’t be an alien.

“Caleb honey, you have to be realistic,” Ana said soothingly. “The things Conn can do? That’s beyond anything I or any other witch I know can master. And she does it without effort. I think she just may be from another world. And if she is and her people have found her, chances are you won’t find her. No matter how long you look.”

It was the last thing Caleb wanted to hear. “No, you’re wrong.” He barked and shoved his chair back as he stood. “I am going to find her.”

“Caleb!” Ana started after him as headed for the door, but Chase put his hand on her arm and stopped her.

“Let him go, Fancy. This is something he has to work out on his own.”

Caleb stopped at the door and looked back. “You’re right. And I will. I’ll find her.”

Chase nodded. “Walk well, little brother.”

Caleb nodded and hurried from the house. He had no clue how he was going to find Conn, but one thing was for sure. He wasn’t going to stop looking until he did.

* * * * *

“Enough, please!” Conn exclaimed and jumped up from where she sat in the luxurious study of the villa to rush out onto the balcony.

She’d listened for days on end to the tales of the V’Kar worlds. She’d read the histories, seen the marvelous holographic images showing historical events, listened to endless recollections from everyone at the villa and through it all her mind could not help wandering to a ranch in Arizona where the man she loved suffered.

Had anyone told her that mating would forge a connection so strong that even separated by thousands of miles she’d feel his pain, she would have become a recluse and hidden away from the world. For surely it was better never to have known love than to give yourself so completely that to go through life feeling the pain and anguish your mate suffered.

Pandora and Azarth had tried counseling her. Azarth had assured her that in time Caleb’s anguish would ease. He would forget her and go on to love another. And, he reminded her, she needed to learn to answer to her true name and forget the name Caleb had given on her.

She didn’t believe him. Nothing was working the way they’d promised. Not only was Caleb furious and worried, but he was also determined to find her. And he no longer believed that she’d been taken into custody of government agents. She felt his resolve and frustration. Just like she felt bits and snippets of his memory returning.

Azarth was adamant that it was impossible. No human could counter the control imposed by a V’Kar. Caleb would never remember what really happened. Conn disagreed. She could feel it happening.

And she didn’t want to be Raenea of V’Kar, daughter of the Heir Apparent. She wanted to be Conn Hoffman, veterinarian assistant and Caleb Russell’s lover.

Azarth stepped out onto the balcony behind her. “We should step up your training. There are techniques for controlling rampant and unwanted emotions I can teach you that—”

“I don’t want to control my emotions!” She turned on him with rage flaming hot and bright. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to forget him. I don’t want to be some…some princess or tool or key or potential savior. I want to be Connery Hoffman. I want to be with Caleb!”

“That isn’t possible my dear.”

“Oh, but it is.” Not until she’d uttered the words did she realize it was far more than a protest or argument. It was a statement of intent.

“I’m leaving. You can either help me get back to Arizona or I’ll find my own way. But one way or other, I’m going back.”

“That would be ill-advised. Your safety would be compromised should you return, and we cannot guarantee—”

“I’m not asking for your guarantee or your advice. I’m sorry, but this isn’t a negotiation. I’m going. The only question is will you provide me transportation?”

“Raenea, we’ve been over this before. The same danger awaits you if you return that existed before you left. The Alliance will have eyes on the Russell abode and at the first sign of your return—”

“I know the danger. It doesn’t matter. He’s my mate. I can’t forget him no matter what techniques you teach me. You said it yourself. When the people of V’Kar mate it is an irrevocable bond that can’t be broken. Well, I’ve bonded. No, it wasn’t with someone from V’Kar. It was with a human. But there’s human blood in me if what you say about my mother is true. And even if there wasn’t the result would be the same. He’s my mate. It’s done and it can’t be undone.”

When he turned and placed his hands on the railing, dropping his head with a heavy sigh, she moved beside him and put her hand on his arm. “I appreciate your position. I do. And I appreciate all you’ve taught me and all you offer. But in matters of the heart, I don’t have a choice, Azarth. Mine has been given and if he’ll have me after what I did, I’ll stay with him. If they come for me…well, we’ll cross that bridge when and if it’s necessary.”

Azarth studied her for a long time, searching her eyes. She met his without hesitation, letting him inside her mind when he probed. She wanted him to see her determination, as well as the depth of her emotion. One of the lessons he’d stressed was the passion and devotion of the V’Kar heart. Well, here was a prime example for him. Her heart belonged to Caleb and she’d rather live one day with him than ten thousand years without him.

At length Azarth sighed and broke both mental and eye contact. He looked out over the scenery. “You are much like your father. He would have given up the throne rather than give up your mother.”

“Thank you for telling me that. It’s the nicest thing anyone has told me about him.”

He turned and smiled at her. “If you insist upon returning, at least let me assign a detachment to you. Bodyguards.”

“No.”

“My dear, whether you want protection or not, I cannot simply leave you unguarded. The Alliance is still a great threat.”

“No. I don’t want any of…any V’Kar on the ranch.”

Azarth smiled. “Very well. But help will be close in the event it is needed.”

Conn returned the smile. “Fine. Give me a phone number and I’ll use if it I need to. But nothing more. Deal?” She stuck out her hand Azarth chuckled. “You’ve become quite adept at that accent, and the mannerisms.”

“So do we have a deal?”

Azarth took her hand. “Yes, we have a deal. If you agree to a bit of patience. There are preparations to be made and research to be done before you return.

“What kind of preparations and research?”

“I merely want to explore options before you make your final decision.”

“I’m not going to change my mind. I have to be with him, Azarth.”

“I am not arguing with you, my dear. I merely want to present you both with options. I ask that you allow me a bit of time to complete what I need to do.”

“And then I can go back?”

“Absolutely.”

Conn let go of his hand and hugged him tight. “Then please hurry with what you have to do.”

“I will endeavor to move as expediently as possible.”

She nodded and released him. As he moved away to enter the villa she turned and leaned on the rail as he returned inside. Now that she’d made up her mind she felt better. But what she’d face when she returned gave her cause for nervousness. If Caleb’s memory fully returned before she did, then she might be going back to a man filled with too much anger to see she’d acted out of love.

Which meant she ran the risk of Caleb turning his back on her. The thought of that made her sick with worry. But better that he make the choice. At least then she wouldn’t have to live with making the choice for him. She’d just have to try and find a way to survive without him.