Chapter Sixty-Five

Chapter Sixty-Five
“Lani?” gently calls a voice I haven’t heard in a year. Maybe I’m dreaming it, but if I am then why am I freezing in place as my heart quickly starts picking up speed in my chest?

I slowly turn around and feel my heart get stuck in my throat. Standing only a few meters away looking just as perfect as I remember him is Julian Easton. His warm brown hair is slicked back just enough to keep it out of his face, his sapphire eyes are glinting like jewels in his eyes and his island sand skin looks radiant against his gorgeous chocolate-brown tuxedo. Actually, I was wrong. He doesn’t look just as perfect as I remember. He looks even better.

“Julian…” I breathe out. “What are you doing here?”

He slowly walks towards me, but keeps his space, though it does no good. It’s like nothing has changed. I still feel that electricity brewing between us and I have this insane urge to throw myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck.

“Irina sent me an invitation,” he tells me.

I blink in surprise. “She did?” She never said anything to me! You’d think she’d have told me she was inviting my ex to her album release party!

His eyes look me over reverently and I find myself gulping down the saliva building up in my mouth.

“You look…even more radiant and beautiful than I remembered,” he breathes out softly, and now I feel my cheeks could rival Áine’s.

“Thank you,” I reply bashfully.

I take a quick mental stock of what I’m wearing, now hoping I’m dressed appropriately for bumping into an old flame. My make-up is light, and my hair is done with soft beach waves while I’m wearing – what I think – is a beautiful V-Neck, sleeveless, shin-length, umbrella hem dress that pulls in at the waist, with white at the skirt and shoulders that forms a marble gradient of pink, blue and purple moving towards the centre. I paired it with simple resin diamond-shaped earrings with pink and purple marbling to match my dress, along with four-inch, nude pumps with a metallic graffiti design and then just threw on a few nude charm bangles for good measure. I relax a little, looking over my ensemble in my mind, relieved that I look my best. After all, standing next to someone as handsome and dashing as Julian is a tall order.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you again,” he whispers, his eyes alight with emotions I haven’t seen for the longest time.

“Me neither,” I smile at him, nerves of excitement fluttering through me. “How have you been?”

He steps closer and leans against the railing beside me. “Overall, I’ve been really good. I quit acting,” he drops casually.

My eyes almost fall out of my head and my mouth drops open. “You…what? When? Why?” I ask in a rush, reeling from the news.

He softly chuckles. “It was a few months after the last time I saw you. I had a lot of back and forth with my therapist and ultimately I realised, while there was a lot I enjoyed about being an actor, the business was just too toxic for me, and it brought out and fed into parts of myself I wanted to let go of. So I decided to retire,” he shrugs.

“I…Wow,” I sputter. “I never in a million years would have thought you’d quit acting.”

“I realised it was never going to give me the real kind of happiness I was after, and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice all the progress I’d been making mentally. The money was great, but it just wasn’t worth it.”

I let out a deep breath. “That…is the bravest and most mature thing I’ve ever heard someone say,” I smile at him. “That took a lot of guts, Julian,” I praise, reaching out and squeezing his hand. I almost gasp when I feel my skin meet his. After all this time his touch still does something to me.

I think Julian feels it too because he immediately looks down at my hand on his and gently clasps my fingers in his palm, holding me in place.

“What about you? Are you still working at that bakery?” he enquires, and I smile at the fact he still remembers where we left off.

I nod happily. “I am. I’m actually one of the bakers there now,” I announce haughtily.

His radiant smile breaks across his face, almost taking my breath away and I find myself getting lost in it and those gorgeous dimples. I hadn’t realised how much I missed just looking at his face and seeing his smile.

“Nalani, that’s amazing!” he cheers. “You’re going to have to tell me the name of this place so I can come and sample your work,” he smirks.

I chuckle, my face flushing further. “Actually, I baked the cake for this event, so if you want a sample just hold out until they cut the cake.”

He smiles warmly at me, brushing his thumb over my knuckles. “I think I can do that.”

As if feeding off his action, I begin brushing my thumb against the back of his hand. “It really is good to see you, Julian.”

“It’s good to see you too, Nalani. I’ve missed you a lot,” he confesses, sincerity swimming in his eyes.

“I’ve missed you too,” I admit, the time we’ve been apart suddenly feeling like an eternity that has hit me all at once.

“Hardly a day went by when I didn’t think about you and how you were doing. If you were happy…if you were seeing someone…” he quietly adds.

I smile shyly, shaking my head. “I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t dated anyone since you, honestly.”

Julian blinks in surprise and stands up straight as he fills his lungs with air. “I haven’t dated anyone either. I don’t know about you, but I know why I couldn’t. I knew there was no one in this world who was ever going to measure up to you, Lani. There is no one who has ever made me feel the way you do, and I miss feeling like that. I miss you. I miss laughing with you and just being in your presence. I miss the banter and the cuddling up and binge-watching shows on Netflix. No movie or premiere ever made me feel half as happy as I felt curled up in bed with you watching back-to-back episodes of Schitt’s Creek,” he declares.

I let out a soft laugh as tears begin to swim in my eyes. “Julian…”

“Please, let me finish,” he softly pleads.

I place my drink down on a nearby surface and take a deep breath as I give him my full attention. “Okay.”

“I’m still in love with you, Lani. Even after a year apart, I think I love you even more now than I did when we met. I know I fucked up in the past, but I swear I am not that man anymore. I believe I can be the kind of man you deserve, and I would give anything for the chance to prove that to you. If you…if you could find it in your heart to give me a second chance I swear to you I would devote every single day to being the man you deserve. All I want is a simple life with the woman I love…if she’ll have me,” he finishes, his eyes peering into mine as if he’s peering into my soul.

I take hold of his hands and squeeze them tightly as light tears trickle down my cheeks. Julian and I went through hell together, and even at his worst, he was there when I needed him. After everything that happened, I didn’t want to date or be with any man, but it wasn’t just because of Carter. It was also because Julian had left a print on my heart that never seemed to go away. I kept waiting for the day I’d stop loving him and finally be able to move on, but I never did.

I can see and hear in Julian’s voice how much he has changed. I can see that he isn’t the man he was back then. He’s not the man who broke my heart. I let go of that pain a long time ago to the point the problems we faced in the past feel like a blur. Julian stayed true to his word and made strides to improve himself and not be the person capable of the things he did, and I can see it. Maybe Julian and I were always meant to be, we just met at the wrong time. Or maybe we had to go through all the pain we did so that we could grow as people and be able to do things right. I don’t know, I’m not a psychic and I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that right here and now I realise how much I’ve missed Julian and how badly I want another chance to make this work, and this time I really believe we can.

“A simple life with you sounds like the most amazing offer I’ve ever heard,” I say in a shaky voice as tears continue to obscure my vision. “I would love to give us another chance.”

A million emotions cross Julian’s face but I think overwhelming relief is the winner. He lets out a deep breath, followed by a nervous chuckle before looking at me with a bright, beaming smile on his face. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up, swinging me around with ease. I wrap my arms around his neck and let out a giddy chuckle, feeling lighter than I have in God knows how long.

Julian sets me down on my feet and captures my face in his hands, softly pushing my hair from my face. “You won’t regret this, I promise.”

I smile, holding his hands against my face. “I believe you.”