Chapter#42

Chapter#42
Liam’s POV

My eyes fluttered open. Pain seared through my shoulder like a branding iron. My bandage was stiff, soaked with the blood that had poured from the arrow wound hours ago. 

I gritted my teeth as my head pounded, but a sound sliced through the silence. Moans, low and primal, punctuated by hungry groans. My chest tightened as a cold dread coiled in my gut. 

What the fuck?

I pushed myself up, and my shoulder screamed in protest. “Gods, not now,” I muttered, wincing as I swung my legs to the floor. 

The noises grew louder, coming from a curtained alcove across the chamber. Moaning and gasping in a rhythm. I recognised the sound. 

Alina? 

My heart slammed against my ribs. Curiosity and fear dragged me toward it like a noose. I knew I shouldn’t look. Knew it would wreck me. But my body betrayed me, stumbling forward.

I parted the curtain, just a crack, and my world imploded. 

Rowan, fucking Rowan, was on his knees with his head buried between Alina’s thighs. Her back was pressed against the wall as her fingers knotted in his hair, pulling him deeper as she moaned. 

Her voice cut like a dagger twisting in my chest. Her tunic was rucked up and her legs were spread wide for him. Rowan’s hands gripped her hips like he claimed her. Alina’s head tipped back, eyes half-closed, lips parted in ecstasy I’d never given her. 

My fists clenched. Rage surged like wildfire, consuming every thought. Alina… my Alina, the woman who shattered me years ago, was fucking my friend beside me while I was barely alive.

My thoughts choked me. My vision blurred as anger and heartbreak crashed together, tearing me apart. I wanted to rip them apart, but my feet were rooted.

“Fuck you,” I hissed under my breath. 

I put my hands on my ears, trying to block her cries. But it was helpless. I couldn’t stay in the same room anymore.

My shoulder throbbed, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest. I needed air. The spiral staircase to the rooftop herb garden was my only thought. I staggered toward it. My hand clutched the rail, but my legs gave out.

“Liam!” Kaelen’s voice broke through as his hands caught me, stopping my fall. “What the hell are you doing? You’re hurt!”

“Just… needed air,” I rasped, “I was headed for the rooftop.”

“You’re not fine,” his voice was laced with worry. He looped his arm around my waist, taking my weight. “Come on, I’ll help you walk.”

I nodded.

The garden was a patchwork of herb beds. Their leaves shimmered silver under the moon. I collapsed onto a wooden bench. My breath came out ragged, and my hands shook.

“Are you alright?” Kaelen asked, kneeling in front of me, grabbing my shaky hands. I remained quiet, trying not to meet his eyes, but his eyes searched mine, “Liam, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“Noting…” I muttered as my gaze dropped to the ground, “You know Alina… she…”

“Why do you still think about her?” Kaelen’s hands moved to my face, lifting it, forcing me to meet his eyes. “The past two days, I noticed you weren’t bothered by her.”

“She doesn’t…” I started, but the words caught in my throat. I swallowed hard as my fists clenched against the bench. “She doesn’t just vanish, Kaelen. I loved her. Loved her so much it fucking broke me.” 

My voice cracked, “That first heartbreak… it’s a scar that doesn’t fade.”

Kaelen’s eyes softened, “Liam,” My name slipped out of his lips, “I thought… I thought you felt the same for me. You showed me you did. You told me you did.”

His words hit me like a punch in my gut. 

“I do, Kaelen. You’re… gods, you’re the only thing keeping me sane right now. I’m stupid for letting her get in my head again.”

“You don’t have to let her,” Kaelen’s hands tightened on my face as his thumbs brushed my cheeks. “Every time you’re near, my heart races, and my wolf howls to be in your arms.” 

His voice broke as a tear slipped down his cheek, and it gutted me. “You don’t realise how hard it was to choose you, Liam. Don’t let her take you from me.”

“Kaelen…” My voice was a rough whisper, “I don’t deserve you.” 

Frustration surged through me. I was angry at myself for being weak, for letting Alina’s betrayal define me. I stood abruptly with the throbbing shoulder, “I need to go. I can’t… I can’t do this right now.”

“No, Liam, wait!” Kaelen shot to his feet, grabbing my arm, “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“Let go,” I growled, but I didn’t pull away. His eyes held mine, pleading, and it broke me. I couldn’t leave, not when he looked at me like that, like I was his world. The anger, the frustration, the need, it all collided, and I snapped.

I spun, slamming him against the stone wall, and my lips crashed into his. The kiss was desperate. It was a raw outpouring of everything I couldn’t say. His mouth opened under mine as our tongues met. 

I pressed my body against his. My good hand fisted his tunic, pinning him in place. His moan vibrated against my lips, sending a jolt through me.

“Liam…” he gasped, his hands clutching my shoulders.

My lips bruised his. I didn’t want to think about Alina, about Rowan. I just wanted him.

“Liam, wait,” Kaelen gasped again. His hands pushed lightly against my chest, “You’re… you’re not yourself. Slow down.”

His words barely registered. “Don’t,” I growled as my hand tightened on his tunic, keeping him pinned. “I need you, Kaelen. Don’t pull away.” 

My lips found his neck, sucking hard, leaving a mark I wanted to see tomorrow. He tensed, his hands pushing harder, but I didn’t stop.

I couldn’t stop. The image of Alina’s ecstasy clawed at me, and I needed to overwrite it. I needed Kaelen to make it go away.

“Liam, please,” he raised his voice. He twisted, trying to slip from my grip, “I know you’re hurt, but… but this…”

“Stop talking,” I snapped as my hand yanked at his tunic. The fabric strained under my grip. My other arm, weak from the wound, braced against the wall, caging him. 

His resistance only stoked the fire in me. Frustration and lust took over me. Why is he fighting this? He’d kissed me back, moaned for me. He wanted this, didn’t he? 

“Just let me have this,” I muttered as my lips grazed his jaw, and my fingers tore at the tunic’s laces.

“No, Liam!” Kaelen shoved harder, but I was stronger. 

The tunic finally ripped. The fabric gave way under my hand. It fell open, and I froze as my breath caught and my hand stilled on his chest.

Breasts?

My mind reeled. Kaelen wasn’t… he isn’t a man. 

“Kaelen… you’re a woman?” 

Kaelen said nothing. 

His… her eyes widened, filled with panic. She yanked the torn tunic over her breasts, covering herself as her hands shook. 

“Don’t…” she choked.

Before I could move, before I could say another word, she shoved past me. Her shoulder slammed into mine as she bolted.

“Kaelen, wait!” I shouted, lurching after her, but my shoulder gave out. I stumbled, catching myself against the wall, “Fuck,” I gasped, clutching my wound. 

She was gone.

I sank to my knees. What the hell have I done? The image of her breasts burned into me, replacing Alina’s moans with something worse. 

Kaelen was a woman. A woman. And I forced myself on her, ignored her pleas, torn her clothes like some fucking animal. 

My stomach churned. 

But why would she and her brothers hide her in such a brutal place? The academy is no place for women. Could it be because of the attack on Silverthorn?

“Gods, Kaelen…” I whispered under my breath. 

I slammed my fist against the wall. 

She trusted me, loved me, and I shattered it in a fit of rage and lust. 

I staggered to my feet. I had to find her, had to explain, to beg for forgiveness. 

But what can I say? That I was sorry for forcing myself on her? For not listening to her pleas? For exposing her secret and making her run? 

“Liam, you fucking idiot,” I muttered, stumbling toward the stairs. 

I’d lost her, maybe forever, and the thought was a knife in my heart. I had to make this right, but deep down, I knew some things couldn’t be undone.