Chapter 29 - Fear of falling

I looked at the morbid note again. Arcani scum, the person had written. Interesting. I had read it over and over again. My mind veering towards many possibilities. Was it Alex or was it not Alex?

There was no reason for Alex to send it. But what if he had? I could not deny or guarantee that he had not sent it, but I also could not explain why he did. I was playing my part, so far I had been playing things safe because of the supposed deadly secret he had over me.

My quiet time was interrupted by Lisa who walked into my room, I looked up at her and saw that she had a solemn look on her face.

“How was it?”

I asked and she smiled sadly.

“I made a generous anonymous donation to Mr Dawson’s wife like you asked me to. He has no kids but he did have a wife. I also sent her a bouquet of flowers and wrote the note you told me to.”

I nodded, a sad smile on my face.

“Thank you Lisa. Thank you very much.”

“You know it’s not your fault do you?”

Lisa asked with a small voice.

That was what everyone kept saying. It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault. But why did I feel so much guilt?!

I was tired. It seemed like everything was happening all at once, how could I stop this?!

Sometimes I just needed to pause. I needed a breath of fresh air once in a while. And I was struggling to even get that.

“I’m going out with Nicholas for the weekend. It’s his mother’s birthday party. His family is staying up in Calgary near the lake. We would be there for a while so you should take a break.”

“B-but the company….”

I shook my head.

“Oh don’t worry about that. Take a break. I’m sure you’re tired already. Everyone needs a break once in a while.”

Lisa nodded.

“Thank you Ms Cleo.”

As Lisa left quietly, I walked into my closet to pack for the trip. Nicholas said it was just for one night, but I told him I didn’t mind if we stayed for more, I certainly wouldn’t mind the distraction. I just needed to be away from it all.

While packing, as I opened a drawer to pick up one of my favorite watches, I saw the picture that Jasmine had given me. The picture of my mother. And the picture of my Dad and his brother.

I picked them out and looked at them, my fingers slowly running along the lines and creases that time had made in them.

Two pictures that I’ve never seen before of my parents.

An uncle I was never told about and a friend of my mum that I had never encountered until recently. They looked so young too, they could have all been my age. I heard the door open but I didn’t budge, knowing it was probably Nicholas.

He walked to the closet.

“Are you packing already?”

He asked and I nodded without looking up.

“What’s that?”

He asked and I showed him the photo of my Dad and my uncle.

“I was snooping around my Dad’s study trying to find a hint or clue to whatever Alex said he had over me. This was what I could find. My Dad never told me he had a brother.”

Nicholas took the photo from me and looked at it.

“They look so alike.”

He murmured and I nodded.

“I wonder why he never told me. Why I never found out.”

“Can you help me find out what happened?”

I asked and Nicholas looked at me with confusion etched in his face.

“Okay. But why do you want to find out what happened?”

I sighed.

“Ever since my Dad died I’ve been finding out everything he lied or kept away from me. First it was Alex, then it was my clan ancestry and now this…”

“If he never told me about my uncle I think there’s an important reason that I should know about if he hid him from me all my life.”

Nicholas nodded thoughtfully.

“You’re right. What’s his name?”

“Brett. Brett Montana.”

Nicholas nodded.

“I’ll find out about him. Do you need any help packing?”

“No I’m fine.”

“I saw Jace downstairs, didn’t you tell him to take the weekend off?”

“He’s coming with us.”

I said quietly. For a second I thought Nicholas wasn’t going to say anything, then I looked up and saw the look on his face. The sheer anger on his face.

“He’s not.”

Nicholas said.

“He is.”

I fired back.

“Cleo, he is not coming anywhere near my family. I don’t want him there!”

“He’s my bodyguard.”

I defended.

“And I’m your husband!”

He exclaimed. I flinched a little, seeing how loud his voice was.

I composed myself and gathered my words.

“I want him to come with me. From all indications members of your clan will be in attendance and with everything I’ve learned about your clan it’s enough to make me weary about them. Let me take Jace along.”

“And who told you all those silly things about my clan?! He did right?!”

“Nicholas I don’t want to argue about this!”

I snapped as I stood up and walked away from the closet.

He followed me closely behind. The tension in the room was electric, it felt like the room would explode.

“Don’t bring him along! That’s all I ask. It’s a private family affair, my clan members wouldn’t even be there. How do you think I’m going to look in front of all my family if you bring him along?!”

“How long is this going to continue Cleo?!”

“How long is what going to continue?!”

I retorted.

“This your irrational distrust towards me. One minute you’re all over me and the next minute you want me gone. I don’t understand it anymore!”

I shot my eyes at me, glaring at me, my anger was flaring up in me.

Irrational distrust?!

He had the nerve to call me irrational?!

“Irrational distrust?! Do you hear yourself Nicholas!”

“You’re the one who married me solely for what you could get from me. How do you expect me to fully trust you after everything you hid from me.”

Nicholas sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

“But you knew what we were getting into didn’t you?! Much of our marriage was based on the agreement that we would help each other.”

I nodded.

“You’re right about that. But you also hid the biggest reason. Didn’t you Nicholas?!”

“And I’ve apologised for it. Many many times Cleo! I’ve told you things aren’t the same anymore. I sought you out for that reason and now things are different.”

“Different?!”

I asked as I started laughing.

“Different in what way?”

Nicholas closed the distance between us and held my hands, he looked into my eyes, his deep brown eyes staring into mine.

“I’m falling in love with you Cleo.”

I didn’t know what to say, I opened my mouth and the words failed to come. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

Anything else, he could have anything else come out of his mouth and I would have believed him but not this.

I snatched my hands away from him.

“Don’t you dare throw that in my face.”

I snapped at him, tears blurring my vision. Nicholas didn’t relent.

“But it’s the truth. Everyday I wake up and you’re the first thing on my mind. How to make you happy, how to satisfy you, how to make you trust me again…”

Michael had also told me he loved me. Look how that turned out?!

I couldn’t believe him. I couldn’t let myself believe him. What if I got hurt again?! What if he broke my heart again?!

I couldn’t even trust him and he expected me to love him?!

“I know there’s a lot of things running through your mind….”

Nicholas started.

I shot my eyes up at him, my eyes flashing with anger and confusion.

“I’ll leave you now to get your space. We leave at noon.”

As I watched Nicholas walk out of my room, I had no words anymore.

Only more confusion.

I was more confused than ever now and I didn’t know how or what to do.

Was he saying the truth? Was he being honest with me?!

How the fuck am I supposed to know now?!

……..

After I packed, I went to look at myself in the mirror. I picked a light and floral mint green dress. I took a coat with me, but it was for later. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail, but it didn’t look good so I let it down. I did a little makeup to hide the tired lines on my face. Then I went downstairs.

Jace was already downstairs waiting for me.

I saw that he had already packed a bag.

“Is it time to leave?”

He asked as he stood up, he must have been sitting for a while. I felt bad for making him pack and all.

“Walk with me Jace.”

I murmured and I led him outside the mansion, far away from prying ears as we reached the courtyard.

“What’s going on?”

He asked and I sighed.

I had thought and deliberated on it.

The tension between Nicholas and I were high now. I didn’t want to bring Jace to the mix. It would certainly make things much worse.

“I think you should stay behind.”