Chapter 37 I Destroyed Her
Will's P.O.V.
When Iva leaves my place, for a moment, everything turns completely silent. It feels like my soul has slipped out of my body.
I stand there like a statue, staring at the necklace in my hand, the same one I ripped off her neck just minutes ago. The same one I once placed around her with my own hands, never knowing I would be the one to tear it away.
My chest rises and falls rapidly, and my heart is racing as if I can’t get enough air. I feel suffocated and experience unbearable pain in my chest.
When I saw Iva’s moist eyes filled with hurt as she caught me kissing Sofiya, something inside me broke instantly. I wanted to stop my act right then and there. I never wanted to be the reason behind her tears.
God, I fucking loved her with all my heart.
But the image of her sitting with that guy in the cafe this morning wouldn’t leave my mind. The way he looked at her while speaking about marrying her burned through my veins like poison. I could almost hear his voice again, so confident, so certain, as if she already belonged to him. The thought made my jaw clench with rage I couldn’t control.
That anger became my fuel. It pushed me forward, forced me to continue with the plan I had already set in motion. I hardened my heart, built walls around every soft feeling I had for her, and told myself this was the only way. Even when I saw the tears gather in her eyes, even when her voice trembled, I refused to stop.
Her pain was tearing me apart from the inside, but I buried it. I pretended I didn’t see the way she broke in front of me. I ignored the way my hands wanted to reach for her, to pull her close, to apologise. Instead, I chose cruelty. I chose cold words. I kept hurting her, again and again, even though every second of it felt like I was carving wounds into my own soul.
And still, I didn’t stop.
Fuck. What have I done in my anger?
I hurt her so badly. So badly that I don’t think I can ever erase that look from her eyes, the shock, the pain, the way her heart shattered right in front of me. Is this what I wanted? Is this what I worked toward so desperately?
Yes.
I wanted to hurt her.
I wanted her to feel the same agony I felt when I saw her with that guy.
I wanted her to understand what it feels like to have your world collapse in a single moment.
I wanted her to feel betrayed.
I thought it would give me peace.
I thought revenge would taste sweet.
But now… now that she’s gone, it doesn’t feel like victory.
It feels like I’ve destroyed myself.
The silence in this place is unbearable. Her laughter used to live in these walls. Her warmth used to fill the air. Now all that’s left is emptiness and the echo of my cruelty. Every corner reminds me of her. Every breath feels wrong without her.
I didn’t just push her away.
I didn’t just break her heart.
I lost her.
Completely.
And with her, I lost everything I thought I was protecting.
My pride feels hollow.
My anger feels pointless.
And this pain in my chest… It’s louder than any scream.
I didn’t just lose her.
I destroyed the best part of myself.
Sofiya walks over to me, noticing my condition, and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Just leave,” I snap.
I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. I need to be alone. It’s killing me.
She doesn’t say anything, just walks out quietly. The door clicks shut behind her, and finally, I’m alone. To suffer.
I drop to my knees in the middle of the living room, my entire body trembling. It’s the first time in my life I’ve felt this kind of pain.
“What the fuck did I just do…?” I scream, pressing my hands against my face. Without warning, tears stream down my cheeks nonstop.
I thought this would make me feel better.
I thought breaking her would somehow ease the pain she gave me.
But instead, it’s killing me. It’s tearing me apart.
Every word I threw at her… every cruel thing I said… it was all a lie.
I never grew tired of her.
She was my everything.
My life. My happy place. My home.
I never wanted Sofiya.
I don’t want anyone else.
I only wanted her.
My professor.
My Iva.
God! The only person I wanted in my life, I threw away.
I remember her face when I pulled that necklace from her neck. Her wide eyes. Her trembling lips. The way she looked at me as if I were shattering her soul. That tearful face keeps flashing over and over, stabbing my heart deeper each time.
God, what have I done?
I shouldn’t have done that to her.
But… wait. If she really was going to marry that guy, then why did she look so heartbroken? If she was moving on, why did she break like that in front of me?
I don’t understand.
“You didn’t even ask her why she lied to you,” I scold myself, feeling a pang of guilt.
What if… what if she was going to tell me everything tonight?
I never even gave her the chance to explain.
As I slam my fist against the floor, the sound echoes in the empty house. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What did I just do?”
The broken chain digs into my palm, cutting my skin, but I don’t let go. I can’t. It’s the only piece of her left with me. The only thing still keeping me connected to her.
I want to call her.
I want to run after her.
I want to hear her explanation.
But my pride, my fucking anger, keeps chaining me to this spot.
The heaviness in my chest is unbearable. It feels like I’ve set fire to everything we built, and now all that’s left is smoke and ashes.
I ruined our love.
I destroyed her and myself.
I drop my head against the couch, breathing hard, tears trickling down my cheeks, and I whisper to no one but the empty walls around me. “Please… come back. Please tell me I’m wrong.”
“You fucking asshole! You’re the one who pushed her away, hurt her, insulted her, now why would she ever come back?” I scream, punching the sofa, my rage turning towards myself now. It’s eating me alive.
I want her. I can’t live without her. She has become my addiction. I can’t even breathe properly without her.
She is the only one who gave me the love I craved since childhood. My mom left this world when I was a kid, and my father buried himself in business, leaving me with nothing. No warmth. No care. No love.
But she… she gave me all of that. She gave me the love I didn’t even know I was desperate for. And I’m the one who destroyed her.
Now she’s gone.
And I don’t know if she’s ever coming back.