Chapter 109 Breakdown

Chapter 109 Breakdown
Will’s P.O.V.

Every nerve in my body is screaming. The restriction of the leather, the cold wood of the cross against my back, and the stinging heat of the crop, it’s a sensory overload I never intended to experience from this side. 

The feeling of helplessness is driving me toward pure insanity. I am a man who commands thousands, a man whose word is law, yet here I am, splayed and shivering under the gaze of the woman I usually break.

But despite the fire in my veins and the blow to my ego, I don’t regret it. Not for a single second. When every instinct in me is screaming to break free, to take control, to remind her exactly who I am. But I don’t.

Because when I look at her… I see something I haven’t seen in days. Life. Her eyes aren’t distant anymore. They aren’t empty. They aren’t haunted. They’re burning. Focused. Alive.

And if I have to walk through this particular hell to keep her from drowning in her grief, I’ll do it gladly. I love her more than my power. I love her more than my pride. Seeing her suffer breaks my heart in ways no physical lash ever could.

The crack of the crop against my chest snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Iva, you’re going to regret punishing your Master like this,” I warn, glaring at her. My predatory instincts are still simmering just beneath the surface of my forced submission.

“You’re not my Master today, Will. You’re my submissive.” She steps closer, and her voice is stronger than I’ve heard it in days. “And you have no right to glare at me like that. Be a good submissive boy, or else...”

She drags the edge of the crop over my balls. It’s a threat that makes my breath heavy. I see myself in her today. I see the shadow I’ve cast over her for years finally manifesting. She has turned herself into something else, a mirror of my own dominance, and God, it’s terrifyingly beautiful.

“Apologise to me right now.” She brings the crop down hard against my belly.

For her, I can do this. I can swallow my pride and play the role. But in the back of my mind, I promise myself that tomorrow, she is going to pay tenfold for this torture.

“I’m sorry...” 

“Properly,” she demands, hitting me again. The sting is sharper this time, demanding total surrender.

I grit my teeth. “I’m sorry... Mistress.”

A smug, triumphant smile spreads across her face. It’s the look of a woman who has finally realised the extent of her power. “Good.” She leans in to admire her handiwork.

But just as she reaches out to touch the marks she’s left, her expression shatters. The colour drains from her face so fast it sends a chill down my spine.

Her hand flies to her mouth, and the crop clatters to the floor as she turns and bolts toward the bathroom in the corner of the room.

The sound of her retching echoes through the soundproof walls.

Panic surges through me. I strain against the straps, the leather biting into my wrists as I try to tear myself free. I fucking feel so helpless right now. 

“Iva! Iva, what happened?” I ask, worried for her. 

I’m trapped. I’m tied to this goddamn cross while my wife is sick and hurting only a few feet away. I curse myself, the room, and this entire game. I’d break my bones to get to her right now.

“Professor!” I call out again, louder this time. “Talk to me!”

No response. Just the sound of her coughing. 

Fuck. I want to help her.

Every second feels like a knife twisting deeper into my chest as I stand there, useless, while she’s hurting just a few feet away.

Then finally, she walks out slowly, her face pale, her lips slightly trembling. All that fire, all that power from a few minutes ago… gone.

“Professor… Come here.” I say in an extra soft tone. 

She doesn’t say anything. She just walks to me with unsteady steps.

The moment she reaches me, her hands move to the straps, fumbling slightly as she starts untying me. I don’t rush her. I don’t say anything. I just watch her, my eyes scanning every inch of her face.

The second the last strap falls loose, I step forward and cup her face. “Are you okay?”

She avoids my eyes as she answers weakly. “I… I don’t know. Suddenly I felt dizzy… and then I just… I couldn’t stop it.”

My arms wrap around her instantly, pulling her into my chest. I press a kiss to her hair, holding her tightly. “It’s okay. We’ll go to a doctor tomorrow. You’ll be fine.”

The moment the words leave my mouth, she stiffens. And then suddenly, she pushes me back. “No.” Her voice is shaky. “I’m fine. I don’t want to go to a doctor.”

I freeze for a second. She is refusing to go to the doctor again. I’m sure now that something is definitely bothering her.

“Professor…” I step closer again, my hand gently coming up to hold her face, forcing her to look at me. “What’s the matter? Why are you avoiding it?”

Her eyes flicker with fear, and then she breaks. “Because I’m scared! I’m terrified of hospitals… of doctors… I can’t—” Her hand moves to her belly instinctively and tears roll down her cheeks. “My baby… In one of those hospitals… my baby was taken from me.”

My heart sinks. 

“I can’t go back there, Will,” she cries, shaking her head. “I can’t even imagine it. I feel like… like if I go there again, I’ll lose everything all over again.”

Before I can say anything, she steps back. Then turns. And runs out of the room.

“Iva—” I call her, but she’s already gone.

And I’m left standing there… Watching her break all over again.

God… when will her pain end? How long do I have to watch her suffer like this? I’m so exhausted.

I swear I’ll do anything… just give me my strong, happy Professor back. I need her so much.