Chapter 101 Grief Turned Into Desire

Chapter 101 Grief Turned Into Desire

Iva’s P.O.V.

It has been a week since we lost our baby.

Seven days… yet it feels like years.

Every day I wake up feeling like a part of me is missing. Like someone hollowed out my chest and left nothing behind except guilt and pain.

I try not to cry in front of Will anymore. I know he is already carrying too much. But the truth is… I don’t even recognise myself anymore. The woman I used to be feels like a stranger.

Sometimes I try to smile. I try to act normally. I try to talk to him the way I used to.

But the moment I do… the guilt returns. How can I smile when my child is gone? How can I laugh when the life growing inside me is no longer there?

It feels wrong. Like I’m betraying my baby. So instead, I stay quiet.

At midnight, I wake up suddenly and notice Will isn’t lying beside me. Where could he go at this time?

For a moment panic spreads through me. I sit up and look around the room.

“Will…?” I call him, but get no response.

I slide out of the bed and check the washroom first. It’s empty. Then I walk toward the balcony.

As I get closer, I hear his voice. He’s on the phone.

And he’s crying. Fuck! 

I freeze near the doorway, staying hidden behind the curtain.

“I’m dying from the inside seeing her like this,” he says, his voice utterly broken. “She looks like a lifeless soul, Dominic. I just want everything to be fine. I want to make her fine.”

My hand flies to my mouth to stop the sound of my sob.

“What should I do?” He asks in a helpless tone, tears rolling down his cheeks. “It’s killing me seeing her like that every day. I want her smile back. I want my Iva back.” 

I’ve never seen him cry before. I always thought Will was unbreakable… the strong one, the one who holds everything together when the world falls apart.

But tonight I see the truth. 

He’s just as broken as I am. And somehow that hurts even more..Because while I’ve been drowning in my own pain, he has been quietly carrying both of ours.

“I don’t know how to help her. Every time I look at her, it feels like I failed in keeping her happy. I failed in protecting our baby.”

I feel a sharp pang in my heart and my chest tightens. 

No… he didn’t fail anyone.

None of this was his fault.

None of it was mine either… but the guilt inside me refuses to listen.

Dominic says something on the other end, but I can’t hear the words clearly.

Will wipes his face roughly with his hand, trying to pull himself together. “I’m trying, bro. I’m being strong in front of her. But I just want my old Professor back. I can’t see her like this anymore.”

Then he ends the call and sinks onto the sunlounger, his shoulders heavy.

For a moment he just sits there silently.

Then he grabs a bottle of beer and drinks the whole thing in one go.

But it doesn’t help him. I can see it in the way his hands tremble. In the way his head falls back against the chair. In the way he closes his eyes like he’s begging for the pain to stop.

And suddenly something inside me shifts. All this time I thought I was the only one drowning. But he’s drowning too. Because of me. Because I shut him out and stopped living.

How can I ignore his pain? 

At this time, we should be there for each other, and what am I doing? I’m not even trying to move on.

Fresh tears fall from my eyes, but this time I wipe them away quickly. No, I won’t cry anymore. 

This is the last time I cry like this.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. For him.

If he can stay strong for me… then I can try for him.

Without thinking anymore, I run toward him. As I climb onto his lap, his eyes fly open in shock.

“Iv—” But I don’t let him finish. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips against his.

For a second he freezes. Because only a few hours ago, I was the one avoiding his kisses. But now I’m the one kissing him.

Feeling his lips again after more than a month makes me feel alive again. 

And then he kisses me back. Desperately. Emotionally.

His hands grip my waist as he pulls me closer. I feel warm tears on my cheeks. God! He’s crying while kissing me.

We keep devouring each other’s lips like our lives depend on it. Like this kiss is the only thing holding us together.

Finally, I pull back slightly, resting my forehead against his. “Will,” I say in a soft tone, looking into his eyes. “I want to heal… please help me.”

For a few seconds, he just stares at me. Like he can’t believe what he heard. Then his hand gently slides into my hair. “I’ll heal you, Professor. Trust me. You will be alright,” he reassures. 

I nod, having full faith in him. “Yes, because you’re with me.”

“Oh God… Professor,” he murmurs, pulling me tightly against him. “I missed you so much.”

He buries his face in my neck, inhaling deeply. As his warm breath brushes against my skin, a shiver runs down my spine and I close my eyes.

For the first time in days… I feel something other than pain.

His arms tighten around me, and I hold him just as tightly. Like we both finally found our way back. 

After everything we lost…

At least we still have each other.

Will doesn't waste another second. He kisses down my neck, moving toward my chest. I utterly lose myself in the sensation, tangling my fingers deep into his hair, pulling him closer as if I can’t get enough of his touch. He kisses me like a hungry man, eventually moving back up to my jaw and face. We both are so desperate for each other. 

"I need you, Professor," He confesses against my lips, his voice heavy with a month of suppressed longing.

"I also need you, Will.” My hand reaches up to play with his stubble, my eyes fixed on him. 

That is all he needs to hear. In one fluid motion, he changes our position, laying me back against the sunlounger. He slides his hand under my nightgown before swiftly pulling down my panties and spreading my legs. 

Then I hear the sound of his zipper as he readies himself and comes over me.

"Iva... I can’t wait to feel you again.” He places himself against my core, and I close my eyes. The familiar heat makes me feel like I’m finally getting my life back after being a ghost for so long.

"Look at me, wifey," he commands, pinning both of my hands beside my head.

I open my eyes, and he thrusts into me, filling me completely in one go. A broken moan escapes me, and we both freeze for a moment. Tears fall from our eyes, not from sadness, but from a pure, overwhelming love that words can't reach.

He begins to move, alternating between slow, deep strokes and fast, urgent thrusts, savouring every inch of me. With every shot, I feel him pulling out his own pain and healing mine. I forget about the grief, the guilt, and the huge loss. All I know is the way he’s claiming me.

I wrap my legs tightly around his waist as he delivers harder shots.

"Fuck! Professor, you're so tight," he groans, his forehead beaded with sweat as he fucks me nonstop.

"Oh, God... please don't stop," I beg. In this moment, there is no pain, only the pleasure and the absolute certainty that he is mine.

He shifts again without breaking the connection, sitting up on the chair and pulling me onto his lap. I start to ride him, my hands flat against his chest as I move up and down, driving him crazy. He grips my glutes, thrusting upward to meet me. Every time he hits deep, I moan, grabbing his shirt and closing my eyes. I forget my own name and forget how to breathe.

My eyes roll back as I reach the edge.

"I missed this, Professor... this look is so hot.” He delivers several hard shots from below that make my legs shiver, and I scream as I cum so hard I lose focus.

But he isn't finished.

He lifts me, my legs still wrapped around his waist, and carries me into the bedroom. He lays me on the bed and turns me over, pulling me onto all fours. He lifts my gown and gives a spank that makes me gasp, before grabbing my waist and thrusting into me from behind. My moan fills the room as I clutch the bedsheets.

He moves with a feral intensity now, his shots taking all of my suffering away. He grabs my hair, pushing my face into the mattress as he delivers sudden, violent jolts that leave my whole body shivering. Every hard hit strikes my G-spot, driving me crazy. 

As I feel him begin to vibrate inside me, my walls clench around him in a desperate rhythm. We are both right there.

Finally, he lets out a roar as he fills me with his seed, coming so hard he pulls my body upward against his front. He keeps us connected, turning my face by my hair to press his lips against mine.

"I love you so fucking much, Professor." He pants against my mouth.

"I love you more, Will..." I moan one last time as he rotates inside me, the bond between us finally sealed back together.