15- Ry

15- Ry
You hurt your central bond...

The thought, as incorrect as it is, echoes so loudly there’s nothing I can do but follow Devi toward the service transportation dock she uses to get home. It’s the same kind of irrational nonsense that pounded my head last night. Her scent… She stiffly tugs the useless bit of fabric over her bleeding skin. I swore I smelled a hint of it again today.

First humans make Lithe without realizing exactly what they’ve done to us, and now this? Some fake perfume that does far more than stimulate libido… it’s… the most potent attraction I’ve ever felt.

“Devi, please,” I hear myself say, unable to stand the sight of what I did to her skin which doesn’t make sense. We’re friends but she’s been hurt before while sparring. I’ve never felt like I would rip off my own skin until her wounds were healed before. “Let me at least take you home. I didn’t mean to forget…” my strength. I don’t say it, but it’s there. I forgot myself, letting my angry lust take over for one second, and now she has that glassy look in her eyes I hate.

The same one from last night, when she seemed to deflate into the floor, looking at Nox like he’d ripped out her light.

Biology is one thing, but add in the potency of nanaria… and I can sense each time she starts thinking about sex because she smells like it. So syrupy, decadent, and damp. Like fresh sweat and heat and her personal inner scent that lures me by the cock. And this new layer of sweetness? It’s addictive. It’s dangerous. And when she’s looking straight at me with that dilated stare and damp core inches from my face? Sometimes, I’m not as good at hiding my reactions as I would like to be. Sometimes in order to keep her from brushing against the length that pointed straight for her core, I have to act quickly. And I’m sorry for it. I wasn’t thinking about the lack of mats or the fact that I’m supposed to be no stronger than a human.

Now, I have to deal with the iron tint she adds to the air. It’s what I should’ve said last night, too. Sorry. But I was too busy hiding myself, too busy making sure she didn’t know the truth so it wouldn’t change anything between us. I’m sorry that last night, her body had lust pounding through my veins so hard I didn’t see Nox lean forward at first. Sorry, I felt my own resonance rise when Emer let his out. It was the bralette showcasing perfectly pillowed breasts. The short, tight fabric cinching just below the cuff of her ass. A pair of weaknesses for me wrapped up in a lovely face and a terribly attractive attitude.

I wanted her more than I wanted to breathe. The sight of her leaned over the table, head down, ass up, a perfect little offering… I almost run into a light pole and jump out of the way at the last second.

Thoughts of her tear-streaked face on her knees haunted me from the club exit to the bond house. It drove my fist into Nox’s face because that had not been the plan. His bewildered face made me at least feel a little better that he didn’t know what happened either. Just like every other club we worked in the circuit, Mid was supposed to be simple. Pay for a room, get a sample of their goods, then bribe a human to spy for us.

I didn’t expect in my wildest dreams for Devi to come waltzing over in hardly enough fabric to be considered clothes…

“I don’t need a ride, Ry. Plus, you said your work vehicle isn’t meant to have anyone else in it.”

“Fuck what I said,” I hear myself say, still twisted up all this misplaced anger. Yes, she lied about what she does at the club, but I’ve lied about everything. She doesn’t even know what I am, thanks to the alteration tech I had imbedded in my skin. What would she say if she really saw me as I am? What would I do if she walked away?

“This doesn’t have to change—”

“Yes, it does. You know,” she snaps, accusatory. “I don’t know how the fuck you know, considering I only ever work VIP, but clearly, you’ve seen… I don’t want to talk about this.” Her face goes blank.

I flounder, lost for what to say to make this better. I don’t even know what drove me to bring it up—or what had me risking my cover to spar with her today.

Because your centra needed you—

I shut the voice in my head down and instead try, “You’re my best student, Devi. Talk to me.” There’s something in her eyes when she glances back at me. It’s disarming. Not enough to have me admit anything, but enough to make me catch up to her and grab the patch of unscratched skin near her elbow. She feels smooth as racine silk, soft as fluffed butter.

“Not about this.”

“Is Jack… is he making you?” I’d kill him if he was. Make it look like an accident to keep the council away from her.

“Stop,” she snarls, “just leave it alone. This is just life, ya know? I have it better than a lot of people, and I’m trying… I’m almost out, Ry. Just leave it.”

“Don’t start that silent shit with me.” I swipe my shirt over my head and offer it to her. The tank she’s wearing isn’t doing enough to keep her warm now that her body is dealing with skin trauma. Plus, I ripped it down the back, which is another thing I regret. I can’t possibly admit that I want to make sure no one else can see the parts of her I’ve revealed. They’re only for me… us, I correct, thinking of my bond mates. 

Where the fuck are these impulses coming from? It would only take a second for me to heal her and take her home… But I can’t. She glares at me, dropping her bag long enough to put it on. I wish she knew nothing could make me feel worse than I already do. “You’re never this distracted. I’m serious, was it Jack? Or something with your exam? Was it… something else? Are you okay?”

Did we hurt you? That’s what I desperately want to know. Did you like the pain? Is what Selk would ask. Was that why he was so carefully silent when we returned to the bond house? Does he feel the same pull I do?

Does Nox?

“Me distracted?” she scoffs, scooping her bag up and quickening her pace. We’re nearly at the transportation dock. “You’re the one who launched me halfway across the parking lot in a fucking sports bra.”

I wince, shame warming my face and hands. “I already said I’m sorry.” I look away, blowing out a breath to remove the bite from my voice. She doesn’t deserve any of it.

When we reach the transportation platform, she glances at me quickly, then scans her right eye and steps into the waiting area. The mechanical sound is so small I barely pick it up. I remember Selk asking about her eye. How have I never noticed that before? You haven’t cared to look, a nasty little voice reminds. The door to the waiting area closes, so I swipe my wrist across the access scanner and follow.

She stares hard like she wants to be angry at me as she should, but her eyes follow the lines of my chest and stomach a little too slowly to be purely anger. And like every time she shows interest, my instincts sharpen, demanding I act on it. Her lovely upturned nose and soft eyes. A natural shape I’ve studied too much to be friendly or professional. But I won’t act on it with this many secrets between us.

And after seeing her hurt twice less than twenty-four hours apart, I don’t deserve to.

“Jack’s Jack. Everything’s fine. I just need a nap before work. You don’t have to follow me.”

“Devi, I’m not in the mood to play twenty fucking questions today. Just give me something honest.” I’m desperate to know how to help.

“Something honest,” she sniffs, working her ponytail loose so the strands fan around her shoulders. Fuck those soft eyes. She’s turned them on me, thinking. She looks pale, even after an hour of sparring, dark shadows curving under her eyes and cheeks. A waxy sheen spreads across her forehead, and I wonder, not for the first time, if she’s wearing makeup. Then the transport train pulls into the station, heat and steam blowing up over the platform lip. And her soft eyes shut down all over again.

“We’re done today. Let’s get some food,” I try. It’s selfish, I know, but at least if I feel her, my instincts will settle.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I am, and I’ve only got another half hour or so before work, so you can keep me company, right? You always wanted to see what I do in a day.” Just stay with me for a while, I plead to myself. Just let me take care of you so I know you’re okay…

“That was before,” she mumbles, watching everyone disembark. I swallow the way my stomach drops. “I’m shit company, and I hate the way you chew.” 

“You need a rapi-dose and some salve, Devi. Maybe even some patches. At least let me get the supplies for you.” 

She slides a pouch of water out of her bag and bites into it. “I’m good. I have it all at home. I gotta go.”

“Devi—”

“I’m good, Ry. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you… around.”

I watch her slide away, finding a seat on the crowded transport and never once looking back.