Chapter 9

ZADIE COLKIN.

‘You smell good.’

‘Hold me, Violet. Like you mean it.’

‘It should have never been you.’

‘Your skin… it’s so soft like silk.’

Sin’s fever took a plunge for the worst last night and he didn’t let me go. Not once.

I had to sleep in arms that looked like they strangled nerds by day and committed murder by night.

The irony being, I felt safe.

In the middle of the woods, in a cabin a little far from campus, I felt safe in the arms of the man who had made it his goal to break me last night.

Which is why when I wake up and find the space next to me on the bed empty, disappointment coats my skin heavily.

I had to find something to wear last night after I resorted to cooling Sin down with a cold shower.

My feet tumble out of bed and I’m surprised to find ridiculous bunny slippers on the floorboards waiting for me.

Those were definitely not there yesterday, if I recall correctly.

I wear them, then I move to the nightstand, pull out a drawer and grab my phone.

The first five calls are from Theo.

The other ten or so texts and missed calls are from Tristan.

Ria and Hailey also texted. I’ll text both of them later while Theo and Tristan can go eat a pile of shit for all I care.

I’m contemplating searching for my clothes, calling a cab and getting out of here when the smell of pizza wafts in the air and makes my stomach rumble.

Is he still here?

I thought he’d leave me all alone after… because of everything he confessed last night.

Maybe that’s the reason why I move to the kitchen with less disdain for the guy who’s completely turned my life upside down.

Maybe that’s the reason why my heart pounds when I find him in the kitchen shirtless, with the black sweats he put on yesterday after the shower and moving about like he doesn’t have a bruised jaw and a bad cut near his eyes.

He places one plate on the kitchen island and I watch with bated breath as he removes the pizza from the box places a slice in the plate and takes two pizza slices rolls them in one and takes a bite.

An action that shouldn’t be hot but it is…hot. No.

“Sin”, I call his name and when his eyes lock on me, pity, sympathy, they all roll in a ball and make me feel guiltier.

This guy… he… he’s the way he is because of what those monsters did to him.

And now that I know that, I can’t blame Ethan Volkov for the way he turned out to be.

He’s strong. He prevailed. I would have died in that room with his nanny too.

“Breakfast?” he offers.

I pull the shirt down in a bid to cover my thighs a little more.

“You should have woken me up. I would have cooked or ordered the pizza.”

“Sit down and eat, violet.”

I listen.

I move to the stool that’s across him and I sit but I don’t eat.

Sin devours his two slices within one go, going for another two.

My eyes glide to his chest and torso. If those sweatpants go down further, he might as well be stripping…Bad, Zadie. Bad.

“You like pizza for breakfast?” I ask.

“Woke up hungry”, he murmurs.

“About what my brother did to you-.”

“Are you Tristan?”

“No.”

“Then let me worry about your brother.”

“You promised not to hurt him. I know he hurt you, I know he could have killed you so I’m going to put in double the work, double the effort.”

Sin completely ignores me as his eyes glide to the pizza and then to me.

“You are not eating.”

I don’t eat pizza for breakfast should be my response.

“I’m not that hungry”, I lie.

“Right.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“Because I see through your bullshit.”

“Do you always speak like that?”

He scoffs, “Speak like I see it? Because all I see is a girl who’s been feeding herself so many lies, she thinks she’s not worthy of eating pizza in the morning.”

My next words get jammed in my throat.

Sin picks up the pizza from my plate, placing it in front of my mouth.

“Eat, violet. No one’s gonna care what you look like at your funeral anyway.”

“I don’t-.”

“I’ve never seen you eat before. Now I’m assuming it’s because of douchebags like Seth-.”

“You’re also a douchebag who took me to see Theo… sleeping with other chicks last night.”

“A, what I did was open your eyes when it comes to your little Prince Charming and b, he wasn’t sleeping around, Violet. He was fucking them. Pathetically, sure but fucking them? Hell yeah.”

To take myself away from this conversation and from the thoughts that remind me how this guy in front of me fucks girls, I lunge forward and I take a bite of that pizza like I have a grudge with it.

All he has to say it?

“Good girl.”

I don’t cringe at that.

Honestly some part of me eats up his endearments because yesterday I got to see a part of him that no other girl has seen.

Yesterday, I… I felt special.

***

Unknown *devil emoji*- A pic of you in your room, violet. Gotta know if my maid made it safely home or if I need to do some rehiring.

“Zadie. Peaches.”

Theo Archibald is standing just outside the elevator of our dorm.

With a Tigers’ varsity jacket, his hair a mess and eye bags under his eyes, I almost feel sorry for him but I don’t.

I contemplate taking the stairs but God knows, stairs and I have never exactly been BFFs.

Heaving dry air and taking in another puff to calm my raging nerves, I put my cell in the back pocket of my jeans then I make my way to the elevator ignoring Theo and his existence.

Theo calls my name but I’m already inside the lift.

That doesn’t stop him though.

He enters the lift; the doors close and I’m trapped with a guy I feel nothing for.

“You are not going to talk or look at me? Is that how it’s going to be? Jesus Christ, peaches Tristan and I have been going crazy trying-.”

I turn to him and all the years I have loved this guy come crashing and sweeping everything like water from a broken dam.

“Don’t you dare bring my brother into this! You called him at the party, you made it look like Sin was hurting me. They were going to kill him, Theo. And where were you? Having the time of your life, fucking two girls while I played the bait and my brother did the dirty work for you?”

“Peaches-.”

“Don’t call me that, I hate it. I hate that you are standing next to me while you kissed me and went straight to fuck two girls afterward. As if I wasn’t… as if that kiss was nothing to you.”

“I’m sorry. Damn it, I made a mistake, pea- Zadie but the bastard deserved what Tristan did to him and more. He had it coming. You know that.”

I take a step backward, appalled.

“That bastard has been more honest to me than you ever were, Theodore.”

Maybe it’s my tone, maybe it’s the way I call his name.

All I know is the tension shifts to another hundred as the ugly mask Theo has striven to put on for years, falls flat to the ground.

“More honest? We grew up in the same neighborhood. I have watched out for you like your father told me to and you what?

Meet a bad boy from the other campus who tells you, your touch does something to him and you fall for it?

You can’t be that stupid, Zadie. You think he’s into you? You think ‘Sin’ is interested in your touch?

If he was, Zadie then you wouldn’t be standing here looking at me like the same virgin who’s been pining over me since she was seventeen! He would have fucked you already if he was interested.

I’m the one who’s honest. I made a mistake but I’m still your guy. I’m the guy your father trusts to protect you, I’m the guy willing to take a chance on you.”

Now I see why Seth and him are friends.

Birds of the same feather always flock together.

The elevator doors open and I step out not dignifying him with an answer.

He can go to hell.

But deep down? The truth feels like a punch to the teeth.

It doesn’t get easier when I find three pairs of eyes waiting for me in my living room.

I feel cornered. Like I can’t breathe at all.

“Zadie-.”

“Get out, Tristan. I don’t want to see you. Not right now. Just leave.”

Take your bastard of a best friend and leave.

Leave me alone.

“You heard her, Tris. Zadie says she doesn’t want you here, then she doesn’t, so leave.”

Tristan bites down whatever words he wants to dish out to Hailey and with a clenched jaw, he moves towards me, drops a kiss on the top of my head and whispers, “I didn’t mean to be like dad last night. Sorry. You have some explaining to do though so you better pick up my calls and answer my texts or I’ll move in here as soon as possible. Love you, Zee.”

Once my brother is out, I can’t hold it anymore.

I plop to the ground once and the tears I was holding in that lift freefall like an avalanche rolling down a snowy mountain.

“He’s an… asshole. You were right… he-he has always been an asshole. He said somethings to me in the… the lift and I know some of them are true but I never… never expected him to be so… so cruel. I should have listened to you. To both of you.”

“You are not at fault, Zadie. It’s his loss because Theo motherfucking Archibald has just lost you and gained three more enemies today. You are telling Tristan right?”

“No… No! They are like brothers and my father… treats Theo like a son. I don’t want to destroy whatever they have.”

“At the expense of you getting hurt every time you see him around your family? Come on, Zadie.”

I sniff back tears.

“I’m not hurt. Like hurt as I should be but his words cut me deep. He knew the right things to say to make me feel worthless.”

“Well, you are not, and screw him and his immature mindset”, Ria comforts.

“So… talking about guys and stuff, are we going to talk about how you and Sinnett, the Sinnett rumored to be the mafia heir to the Italian mafia, have a thing going on?”

“I don’t have a thing going on with Sin”, a blush creeps up my cheeks. Theo’s words ring in my head and that blush fizzles out.

“Tristan said you defended him last night in front of the jocks? And wait a minute you call him Sin and he hasn’t murdered you? Tell me what he smells like. Oh God, does he have any skull tattoos or some weird stuff like that? Has he ever killed anyone? Wait… wait, do you think his brother is available? Or his cousin, I’ve seen the cousin and he is so hot…”

My phone pings twice and I kneel on the floor taking it out of my pocket.

“Is that Sinnett right now?”

“No”, I mumble looking at the text and the invite, “It’s Rhys.”

“Rhys? Rhys Sokolov? Ok who you are and what have you done with the Zadie who knows only two guys on campus?” Hailey exclaims.

“What does he want?” Ria pokes.

I’m surprised too. I spoke to Rhys yesterday when he called Sin’s phone and Sin was unconscious.

And the other time when I made breakfast for him and the other guys.

“He’s inviting me to a party at the Graves mansion?”

“We are totally going to that party.”

XxX

Rock music and something between the lines of hard bass and goth rock filter through the speakers louder than the raucous laughter of the chicks dancing by the gaming room and the dudes playing beer pong.

Hailey who followed my words about the location of the kitchen shows up a minute later, with three small shots of clear liquid in them.

It’s alcohol.

And I don’t give a hoot as I take it from her and Ria does the same.

We all went for black.

Hailey with ripped dark jeans and a tube top that clings to her breasts for dear life.

Ria with a dark jumpsuit that makes her look like the immaculate goddess she always is.

And me with the ankle-length backless dark dress that dips near my ass, coupled with sneakers.

“Here’s to risking our lives by attending a high-society party that’s way more unhinged than I thought. Here’s to Zadie because I’m telling you bitches, we are finding our husbands here tonight and five years from now, we’ll be sipping teas in London with billionaire definitely mafia husbands.”

“Salut”, Ria shrieks.

I yell a ‘here, here’, tasting the alcohol that feels like I just dragged my throat across the tarmac on a sunny day.

“Now, disperse. You all have pepper spray in case shit gets ugly right?”

I nod. Ria nods.

A couple of hugs and I move my feet upstairs feeling like ten pounds have been lifted off my shoulders.

It feels like déjà vu.

The only difference this time is that I’m making my way to Ethan ‘Sin’ Volkov’s room with a different mission altogether.

I stagger past the women, beelining for the bathroom, whispering which lucky dame gets to be in Sin’s room tonight.

I can also hear their gasps behind me as I open Sin’s bedroom door, walking in with no volition.

The room is empty. No shock there.

I make my way to his office, opening the door.

“Sorry, boss.”

The guys are here and Sin is seated behind his desk like some mob boss talking about some counterfeiting business.

“Damn, mama. You actually came. Looking sexy. A ten out of ten”, Rhys winks at me and I get shy.

“Sin. I want to talk to Sin.”

Sin’s eyes glide down my body and my body heats in return.

“No.”

One word. Two letters and twice as enough to tell me to get out. Normal Zadie would do that but right now…

“I want sex”, I say boldly but I can’t help smiling a little.

Rhys winks at me and smiles harder.

Sin isn’t happy at all.

“I can ask the guys too if you don’t want to. All I want…”

“Get out. All of you.”

The guys leave in seconds. Rhys is the last to leave and he kisses my cheek saying, “I knew you’d poke the bear.”

The bear in question stays behind his desk and I walk to him.

“I want sex”, I say again.

Sin stands up, walks around his desk, towers and overpowers me with his build and height.

“I asked for a picture of you in your room not this, violet.”

“You don’t want sex?”

“You are drunk and you don’t ask for sex like that. You wanna fuck with someone, just fuck.”

“I want to fuck with you.”

“What are you doing here, violet?”

Proving Theo wrong.

“I’ll ask one of the guys if you don’t want to-.”

One hand slides to my back, pulling me to him.

The other hand grabs my dress pulling it up my hips to my waist before it slowly disappears between my legs and I have to hold onto dear life so I won’t collapse in this newfound feeling called bliss.

“Sin”, my voice trembles.

His knuckle brushes the outside of my panties and a sharp pulse between my legs nearly robs me of breath.

At least that’s what I think until he slaps my core and pain and pleasure dance along my veins in a hypnotic pull.

“Pain level?”

“Good”, I whisper. I want more.

“That’s not what I asked, Violet.”

“It hurt a little."

“Good. Because when I claim this cunt, I want you to be sober enough to feel the pain.”

“Please.”

“Let’s table this for tomorrow. You want this, violet? Come and get it, tomorrow.”