Chapter 34 Chapter Thirty-four
"The...clouds?" He asked quizzically and I gave him a nod, lowering my hand back into my lap, but I kept my gaze locked on the fluffy clouds that looked like something out of a dream.
"I know it's weird, but there's just something ethereal about them. The way the sun dyes them in soft pink, purple, and orange?" I paused to take it all in. "It makes me wish I could touch them, but they're so far away." I let out a dreamy sigh then shook my head at the absurdity of that thought.
It was only after a few seconds or reminiscing that I finally realized I was the only one talking and Asher hadn't even said a word. But when I turned he was already staring at me. His Amber eyes locked with mine intensely and suddenly the space between us felt closer.
"I'm sorry. I'm talking too much -"
"You're right." He cut me off. " They are beautiful." He continued, but never broke eye contact with me. Something fluttered in my chest when he said that, but I pushed those thoughts away. Thoughts about how close I wanted him to come. Wishing he'd take off that mask to show me the man who owned those stunning eyes.
"The clouds." I heard him say again and I came back to reality feeling a bit embarrassed because a part of me...a really small part got lost in the moment.
He broke his gaze though and looked up again. I took the moment to appreciate just how strong his jaw looked behind the mask and that giddy feeling I felt before returned.
Who was this man?
"They're the most beautiful things I've ever seen...." He spoke, "...the clouds" he added, almost like an afterthought. Like he wasn't even talking about the clouds anymore.
"I don't think I've ever been this fortunate enough to see something so beautiful."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and creased the hem of my top.
"Are we still talking about the clouds?" I asked sheepishly. And I could have sworn I heard him chuckle. It wasn't a kind 'Haha' chuckle. It was something that came like a deep rumble and for the third or maybe fourth time this evening, I caught myself smiling despite myself.
Asher shifted slightly on the bench, his posture changing from rigid to something more... contemplative. Like he was deciding whether to say something important.
"After the old Alpha passed, "he began, his voice taking up a more, almost vulnerable tone than before. "He named me as his successor. And let's just say it's not conventional within a wolf pack..." He paused, as if waiting for some kind of confirmation from me to go, and when I didn't stop him, he went on.
"I'm sure Miridath has mentioned it, but Aquila and I, we're something Akin to outsiders, I'm sure you can imagine how a pack of prideful wolves must have felt."
I did. I did understand how it felt to adjust in a world dominated by creatures different from yours. Working with the Dragon council under the human legal division it was difficult to even get a case when no one took you seriously. It was easy because Vincent took me under his wing though, but Asher? Other than Aquila and maybe Miridath there wasn't really anyone here.
"Being the Alpha of the Inglewood pack doesn't exactly give me the luxury to stop, and appreciate the beauty of things," he said, turning to face me fully when he spoke.
His eyes found mine again, and there was something in them now. Something raw and honest that I didn't think he showed people very often.
"But why do it?" I asked innocently. It was probably not my business, but the curious hunger to know more about this man was far too large to pass this up. "Why take on that burden if it's so hard? If they didn't even want you?"
"Because I made a promise."
The words were simple. Like that was all the explanation he needed.
But I wanted to understand more as I slid a bit closer towards him on the bench.
"A promise to who?" I pressed gently, leaning forward slightly without meaning to. "To the old Alpha?"
He was quiet for a long moment, his gaze drifting down my body momentarily before clearing his throat.
"To him, yes," Asher said slowly. "But also... to myself."
"What kind of promise?"
His jaw tightened beneath the mask. Saw the way his hands curled more tightly against his knees then relaxed again.
"That I would protect them," he said finally. "All of them. The pack. The village. Everyone under my care. That I would be better than..." He stopped himself. "That I wouldn't fail them the way I failed—"
He cut himself off sharply, as he'd almost said something he shouldn't have.
"The way you failed who?" I asked softly.
But he just shook his head. "It doesn't matter now"
"It does if it's the reason you're carrying all of this alone."
And there it was again, that same chuckle that was rarer. But what really caught me off guard was how his hand moved, tucking beneath my chin as he tilted his head to the side. And I sat frozen. Forgetting where I was for a moment because all I could think about now was the warmth of his skin and the woodsy scent I woke up with two days ago.
"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?," he said quietly, as if it were a matter of fact.
"I'm a lawyer," I replied with a small shrug. "Seeing what people don't say is part of the job."
He regarded my words for a moment, then allowed his hand to drop back to his side with a nod.
"And what am I not saying?"
I moved away from him, not because I was scared of what happened, but because of what might happen. I didn't want to fall for him or anyone. I eyed him warily, at least he didn't look so tense.
"That you're tired," I said gently. "That being the a leader is more than just protecting people. It's carrying their expectations and their disappointments and their judgment all at once. And that sometimes..." I paused, choosing my words carefully. "Sometimes you wish you could just be a person looking at clouds. Instead of an Alpha looking at threats."