Chapter 61 LOVING HIM IS A WEAKNESS FOR HIM
SEBASTIAN'S POV
Beta Ava is still looking at me with a scornful sense of curiosity, like she can't believe Ragnar could settle for me.
“You’re not strategic,” she continues. “You’re not even politically useful, you have nothing to your name, you have no influential bloodline or pack behind you to strengthen alliances.” She's listing it off of her head like she's looking for a redeemable feature of mine.
Her voice continues and drops low like she's adding the final blow.
“And to top it all, you’re a recessive omega too.”
The room tilts as I start tearing up.
My breath catches painfully. “That’s not–”
“–just don’t,” she snaps, grabbing my hand and pinning me back around with a sharp grip on my arm. “Don’t even try to lie. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what that would mean for you in the future.”
Her fingers dig into my arm just enough to hurt.
“Your type suffers low conception rates and even if by some act of kindness or magic from the moon goddess you conceive, you will suffer the entire duration of your pregnancy at the risk of fetal abortion or death. Even if by some miracle you carry to term safely, the chances of a strong heir from you especially is zero to none.”
Her eyes glitter with anger. “You can’t even do the one thing omegas are valued most for in packs like this so what is the use of your existence?”
Something cracks in my chest as her words land blow after blow on me.
I try to speak, I try to defend myself but the words tangle and dissolve in my mouth.
My vision blurs with hot tears as her words jab and stab at me repeatedly.
“I’m more than that,” I whisper but it sounds weak even to me.
“I'm… I'm a person too.”
Ava releases me with a shove. “No,” she says coldly. “You’re not.”
The tears no matter how hard I try to fight it come anyway, my eyes betray me as they drop uncontrollably on my face. I turn my face away quickly, but she’s already seen them.
“Pathetic,” she mutters. “Crying now? Do you plan to shed tears and hope for pity or mercy from everyone in this pack that hates you? Is that how you plan to survive here?”
I scrub my cheeks angrily. “I didn’t choose to be born this way.”
She scoffs. “And Ragnar didn’t choose you. At least he didn't choose you when thinking long term anyway. He’s confused and distracted by you, that's all. He doesn't realize or see it yet but when the fact that you're merely a weakness dawns on him, he'll get rid of you himself.”
Her voice softens but not with kindness, but with finality.
“If you have any self respect left after losing your dignity and offering yourself up like some mutt, you'll leave him now.”
“I didn't–”
“I don't care,” she cuts me short. “Do you think your ‘truth’ matters? You're sleeping with the Alpha of Alphas who by some ‘coincidence’ from all the more capable and stronger wolves just happened to pick you to be his personal guard even though you've never trained a day in your life?”
Now that she's saying it like that, it sounds even worse.
“If you care about your life, no, if you even care a bit about him at all, you’ll walk away before this costs him his pack.”
“What do you mean–?”
“Today he was cornered by other Alphas because of you,” she gives me a stink eye.
“Because of your existence, weak Alphas who aren't even fit to touch Ragnar's shoes today all ganged up against him to challenge him. Today it's just merely a challenge, tomorrow because of his so-called ‘weakness’ it could be a war happening between packs.”
Her words echo in the space between us, sinking into every crack and hole she’s already carved open inside me.
I shake my head slowly, more in denial than disagreement to what she's saying. “That’s not fair,” I whisper. “ Alpha Ragnar didn’t lose anything today because of me. He stood his ground.”
Ava’s lips curl. “You mistake brute dominance for victory.” She steps closer again. “He stood his ground because he had to. Because Alphas don’t get the luxury of weakness like cowardly Omega's, especially the Alpha of Alphas.”
Her gaze bores into mine. “And you are a living representation of weakness in the flesh.”
The words hurt more because part of me is already nodding along.
“I never asked him to protect me,” I say hoarsely. “All I did was follow orders and do my job.”
She laughs cruelly. “Your job?” Her eyes flick down my body again in that dismissive manner I hate. “You don’t have the strength to shift properly under pressure, your fighting stance is always wrong, your reflexes are slow, and your wolf–oh,” she pauses as if savoring it, “–barely shows. Some people in this pack are not even sure if you have one.”
My chest tightens painfully. “You don’t know my wolf.”
“I know enough!” She snaps. “I know Ragnar’s wolf. I know what a true Alpha’s presence feels like. And I know that standing beside you is just dulling his sharp edge.”
I flinch.
“That’s why they immediately noticed,” Ava continues. “Other packs and leaders smelled hesitation on him today and immediately equated it with fear. They pushed and realized that Ragnar instead of putting them in their place showed restraint and hesitation.”
Her eyes sharpen in anger. “And Alphas who hold back, who hesitate, get killed.”
A sick chill crawls up my spine. “You’re blaming me for their aggression.”
“I’m blaming you for existing where you shouldn’t,” she corrects me coldly. “This pack is already under scrutiny because of the moon's blessing, your presence just gives them a reason to circle together and conspire.”
She leans in, voice dropping. “To challenge his right to lead since he can't even manage his own pack properly.”
My hands curl into fists at my sides as I try to hold my ground. “He wouldn’t let that happen.”
“No?” Ava arches a brow. “And how many fights do you think he can win before even his strength starts to fracture? Or how does he even want to prepare and train his pack against attacks from rival packs when his head is stuck in between your thighs?!”
I open my mouth but nothing comes out.