Chapter 126 HARD CHOICES
ALISANDER'S POV
Even now, even after everything that has happened and after so long, it still burns.
“She betrayed my trust in her,” I say finally.
The words are as simple as I can put them but the weight behind them isn’t.
Silence crashes down between us again as I can practically hear Sebastian’s mind spinning in different directions.
“She used me to fulfill her conquest for wars and devotion,” I continued. “And when I was no longer useful, when the war was over and I started experimenting for the good of all werewolves, she framed me and turned her back on me like I was nothing.”
My voice hardens into something darker.
After centuries, I thought I had let it all go and it was now in the past.
Turns out it's just new skin that grew over a festering wound.
“So no,” I add coldly. “You don’t trust her lies of concern.”
“You do the same thing to her that she would end up doing to you.”
That makes him pause as I can feel the hesitation in him clearly now.
The conflict.
“You’re asking no, telling me to betray the Moon Goddess,” he says slowly.
“I’m telling you the best way to survive all of this,” I correct.
Because that’s what this is. It's not about loyalty to that witch, it's survival.
“She’s already playing you,” I continued. “We just haven’t figured out how yet. For her to reveal herself to you so soon is alarming.”
There's silence and when I peek into Sebastians's mind, he's feeling concerned, wary and doubt
It looks like just my warnings alone are not enough to sway him.
Not yet.
“I’m not saying I trust her or anything,” he says after a while. “But I’m not saying I trust you either.”
That stings.
After all these years together, that's such a low blow.
But that makes me smile.
Finally, there it is.
“That’s smart,” I admit.
And I mean it.
Blindly trusting a person without having any reservations or feeling wary is a weakness that would end up getting you killed or betrayed.
“Keep that,” I add. “That wariness you feel for everything, you’ll need it real soon.”
“She pulled me into that dream,” he says, shifting the conversation. “Without warning or sign.”
“Yes.”
“So how do we stop it?”
Ah. Now we’re getting somewhere.
My mind sharpens instantly.
It's more than just wariness, Sebastian fully doesn't like that bitch.
Perfect.
“She used your connection,” I say. “Your bond to her is what she used to bring you there. Your existence as… whatever you are to her.”
He doesn’t like that phrasing and I feel it, but he lets it slide.
I don't know how else to phrase it either.
“For now,” I continue, “we assume she can reach you when you’re vulnerable, asleep or unconscious. Basically when your guard is off.”
“So we stay on guard,” he says.
I hum softly.
“Partly.”
“Partly?” he repeats.
“She’s not some omnipotent being,” I say. “If she was, she wouldn’t need to wait till you're weak to talk to you. She would just control you from wherever she is.”
That lands hard.
“So there are limits,” he murmurs.
“Yes.”
There are a lot of things and limitations that bitch can't cross even though she's a goddess, hence why she always sends other wolves to carry out her dirty business.
A pause.
“We find them. We'll find all of the loopholes and weaknesses.”
The words settle between us like a pact and it's making me smile.
Soon.
That bitch would be dead by Sebastians's hand if I played my cards right.
“So we anchor you,” I continue, already thinking five steps ahead. “Strengthen your awareness even in sleep and build up resistance. The next time she tries to pull you in–”
“She won’t have it so easy,” he finishes.
Exactly. For the first time since he woke up, for the first time in forever, we're aligned.
Not fully, but it's enough for now.
But something from nowhere interrupts us abruptly.
It's sharp and commanding in our minds as it cuts through our shared space like a blade.
Sebastian stiffens instantly and I feel it the same moment he does.
That pull and connection, it's different from before when it was just lighthearted.
The message comes clear and really direct inside of his head.
“We need to talk.”
Ragnar.
Of course it is.
My expression darkens slightly. This was another complication I didn't plan for.
With the whole Moon goddess thing going on, I can't afford distractions from Ragnar and that weird Dax.
This complicates things for me.
A lot.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SEBASTIAN’S POV
The walk to Ragnar’s office feels longer than it should.
What am I going to say or do?
Every step I take is too loud and damning like the ground itself is trying to remind me that I did a terrible thing.
I basically announced someone else as my mate in public right in front of my real mate!
What if he rejects me?
We need to talk.
His voice still lingers in my head even after the message he sent.
I've repeated it to myself over and over again just to see if I can find or get any clue of what he's currently feeling.
No such luck.
I hate it.
I hate how vulnerable and jittery this whole thing is making me.
He's the one who didn't clarify or even acknowledge the bond since the beginning so why am I the one feeling like I did a bad thing?!
I hate how easily he can reach me like that.
I tighten my jaw as I approach the building, pushing the thought aside.
Focus! That’s what I need right now.
I need to clear my mind and focus on what I'll say when we have our talk.
I just didn't know he'd want to do it in a rather public area.
The guards at the entrance step aside immediately when they see me with no questions asked but I see a faint stare of judgement.
As if they were saying that since I already had a mate, what was I doing here?
That alone tells me enough.
I need to either clear this whole thing up and come clean or… reject the bond with Ragnar.