Chapter 104 IT'S HOT
RAGNAR’S POV
I stood in the middle of the training yard, breathing hard with my muscles still tensed from Sebastian’s stubborn defiance.
Yurik prowled restlessly under my skin, aware of every rustle of leaves in the wind. And yet… something felt off.
Sebastian was gone.
Really gone.
Not just hiding in a corner or taking a short break but vanishing. He was nowhere to be found.
Ava stirred from the shadows with her arms crossed as she leaned casually against the fence post. “Did you push him too far?” she asks, her voice calm but curious.
I didn’t answer immediately. I was still processing what just happened.
I'm trying to piece together the moment we had just shared and why he’d walked off.
What did I do wrong?
Did I even do something wrong?
The frustration, his exhaustion and his small acts of defiance I could understand but I don't know why he just left.
“Sebastian doesn’t fully understand what he is yet,” I finally said, my voice low, almost more to myself than to her.
Ava tilted her head slightly, the question hanging in the air. I could feel it there,. pressing from her.
“And what is he?” she prompted lightly, with curiosity in her tone.
Before I could even form a reply, she waved me off. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You can’t tell me. Not your secret, not your thing.”
She let the words hang in the air as she retreated back to the shadows, curling into her small figure.
Soon, her breathing evened out, and she drifted back into sleep.
Looks like she didn't get enough sleep during her week off.
I watched her for a moment feeling a pang of irritation I couldn’t quite place.
Why was she still sleepy even after a week of ‘resting’?
And besides, I was only trying to help.
I wanted Sebastian to understand, to grow and to maybe survive what's coming.
I don't even know what the ‘what’ is.
And yet, every time I pushed, it felt like he recoiled from me instead of towards me.
Why couldn’t he just trust me?
I exhaled sharply, running a hand over my face and feeling the tension pull at my jaw.
Trust wasn’t something I forced but… patience especially in my case, only worked for so long.
In particular with someone like him, a stubborn, defiant, and somehow too aware brat like him.
I let my gaze fall back to the yard, surveying the dirt-packed ground and the space where Sebastian had stood just moments ago.
The silence stretched around me like a tangible weight, and for the first time in a long while, I felt the sharp sting of doubt.
Maybe I was doing too much?
I mean I haven't even asked him how he feels since hearing such news.
He’s only eighteen.
He barely even knows what he is and yet somehow because everyone fears him, they all want to kill him.
He doesn't even know what his body is capable of. I mean, how could he, when the entire world wants to test and kill him at every step?
And yet… I'm also one of those people silently judging and criticizing him.
I couldn’t let him continue to think that.
I turned toward Ava’s small sleeping form one last time with my mind clearing just enough to make a decision.
“You’re in charge for two days,” I announce , my voice steady though my thoughts churned like butter beneath it. “I’m going on a retreat.”
She didn’t respond and only murmured something incomprehensible in her sleep.
I didn’t care, the decision was made.
She'll be furious when she wakes that she'll be swamped with work just as she came back from vacation but I'll be long gone by then.
Sebastian would be alone with himself for a while and I needed to be alone with myself.
The walk back to my private house was quiet and much needed as a physical escape from my chaotic mind.
I arrived at the house hidden from the world, unknown even to Sebastian and Ava as I looked for the key.
It's a place untouched by the pack and by the constant tension and pressure of leadership.
My very own sanctuary.
The sun was still low in the sky as it started bleeding pale oranges and onto the forest canopy.
I pushed open the door, stepping inside, feeling the familiar emptiness embrace me.
The house smelled faintly of pine and smoke and brought up memories from long-ago of fires and quieter mornings.
After so many years, it was like a dream now. We haven't been back since my father died.
I shed the outer layer of my sweat soaked training clothes and toss them aside.
My muscles were mildly sore and tired, and yet my mind refused to go quiet.
It feels like there’s a tension growing inside me, something I couldn’t quite name yet.
What is wrong with me?
Have I been drugged or something?
Why am I feeling antsy?
I stepped toward the spring at the back of the house fully nude.
It's a small pool fed by a natural stream making the water clear and cold.
Perfect.
I sank into it, letting the chill lap against my skin and shock me awake.
The cold was supposed to refresh me, it was supposed to wash away the heat and the tension from me but it barely touched the growing agitation in my chest.
Maybe it's just the stress of everything this past few days.
I scrubbed my arms, shoulders and the rest of my body as I let the water sluice throughout my skin.
I'm trying to focus on the small movement and block out everything and for a moment, it worked.
Everything disappeared into a distant memory as the cold water flowed on my skin.
Then the heat returned.
And even fiercer this time.
Why am I growing hot? Did I catch a rare case of the human flu or something?
My skin prickled with different sensations and blood thrummed in my veins.
My pulse has gone erratic and crazy almost like I was either suffocating or having difficulty breathing.
I brace myself with my hands as I exhale harsh, heavy pants as a result of the different sensations I'm feeling.
The spring’s cold water should have calmed me down and brought down my temperature, but instead it made the heat even worse.
I'm breathing heavily as I feel the heat drop low to my nether regions as I faintly remember what may be happening to me.
Am I in a… rut?