Chapter 21 First Heat
Jolie POV
"The Council knows about you. And they want a meeting."
I should be scared. I should panic. But all I feel is tired. Of course they know. Of course they want something from me. Everyone always does.
"Okay." I wipe sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. "When?"
Ryder stares at me like I've grown a second head. "That's it? Just okay?"
"What else am I supposed to say?" I lean against the doorframe, my legs still shaking from training. "You'll handle it. You always do."
Something flickers across his face. Pain or guilt. "Jolie"
The cramping hits without warning. Sharp and vicious, it tears through my lower abdomen like claws ripping me open from the inside. I gasp and double over, my hand clutching the doorframe so hard the wood creaks.
"Jolie?" Ryder crosses the room in two steps, his hands hovering near my shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"I don't" Another wave crashes through me, worse than the first. Heat floods my body, burning under my skin like fever. My wolf stirs restlessly, whining and pacing. "Something's wrong."
Ryder goes completely still. Then his nostrils flare as he breathes in deep. His eyes flash amber for just a second before he forces them back to human. "Fuck."
"What?" I look up at him through the haze of pain and heat. "What is it?"
"Your heat." He steps back quickly, putting distance between us. His jaw clenches so hard I can see the muscle jump. "It's starting."
Oh god. Oh no. I know what this is now. I've heard the other females in my old pack talk about it. The burning need, the overwhelming scent, the days of agony while your body screams for a mate.
"I need to get you to your room." Ryder's voice comes out rough, barely human. "Now."
He reaches for me, but the second his skin touches mine, I cry out. The contact sends electricity racing through my nerves, pleasure and pain so mixed I can't tell them apart.
Ryder jerks back like I've burned him. "I can't carry you. Not like this."
"I can walk." I push off the doorframe, take one step, and my knees buckle. He catches me before I hit the floor, his hands careful to only touch my clothes, avoiding bare skin.
"Cass!" His shout rattles the windows. "I need you!"
Footsteps pound down the hallway. Cass appears, takes one look at us, and his expression goes grim. "Heat?"
"Get Knox and clear the clubhouse." Ryder's alpha command rolls through the words like thunder. "No unmated males within a hundred yards. And bring Doc."
Cass nods once and disappears. I hear him shouting orders, boots scrambling, engines starting up as pack members flee.
"Can you make it to your room?" Ryder asks me quietly.
I nod, even though I'm not sure. Every step feels like walking through fire. The heat under my skin builds and builds, spreading from my core outward until I'm burning alive.
We make it halfway down the hall before I have to stop. I lean against the wall, panting, sweat soaking through my shirt.
"I'm sorry." The words come out as a whimper. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't." Ryder stands three feet away, his fists clenched at his sides. "This isn't your fault."
Another cramp doubles me over. I bite my lip hard enough to taste blood, trying not to scream.
"Almost there." Ryder's voice gentles. "Just a little further, Little Ash."
The nickname helps somehow. Gives me something to focus on besides the pain. I push off the wall and force my legs to move.
My room feels like a sanctuary when we finally reach it. Ryder gets the door open and I stumble inside, collapsing onto the bed.
"I'll be right outside." He backs toward the door, not taking his eyes off me. "If you need anything"
"Don't leave." The words burst out before I can stop them. Panic claws at my chest at the thought of being alone. "Please."
He freezes in the doorway. "Jolie, I can't stay. Your scent. my wolf."
"I know." I curl into a ball, trying to contain the pain. "I know what I'm asking. But I'm scared."
The silence stretches. Then Ryder steps inside and closes the door behind him. He doesn't come closer, just slides down to sit with his back against the door, as far from the bed as he can get.
"I'm here." His voice is rough. "I'm not going anywhere."
The hours blur together. The pain comes in waves, each one worse than the last. My body burns, my wolf howls, and all I can do is endure.
Doc comes and goes, leaving water and medicine that doesn't help. Ryder stays exactly where he is, a solid presence in the chaos.
Night falls. I don't know what time it is anymore. Everything narrows down to the next breath, the next wave of heat, the next moment of survival.
"Talk to me." I force the words out between gasps. "Please. I need to hear your voice."
Ryder's quiet for a moment. Then he starts talking. About the pack, about rides through the mountains, about stupid things Knox has done. His voice washes over me like cool water on burns, not fixing anything but making it bearable.
Somewhere around midnight, I start crying. Not from pain—I'm used to pain. But from the overwhelming need, the emptiness, the biological need screaming at me to find a mate.
"I've got you." Ryder's voice never wavers. "You're safe. I've got you."
The second day was worse. My scent intensifies, calling to every wolf in the territory. I can hear them outside, pacing, restless, their wolves responding to my heat.
But Ryder's growl keeps them back. Low and constant, a clear warning that approach means death.
I drift in and out of consciousness. Every time I surface, he's still there. Still talking. Still keeping watch.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask during a moment of clarity. "Why are you torturing yourself?"
"Because you asked me to stay." He shifts position, rolling his shoulders. "And because no one should go through this alone."
"You could just claim me." The heat makes me bold, strips away my filters. "It would stop. If we mated."
"No." The word comes out. "Not like this. Not when you can't think straight."
"But I"
"When I claim you," he cuts me off, his voice dropping low, "it'll be because you chose me. Not because your biology gave you no other option."
The third day breaks with a fever spike that makes me scream. My body convulses, every nerve on fire. Through the haze, I feel Ryder's presence closer than before. Not touching, but near enough that his scent hovers around me.
"It’s almost over." His voice sounds wrecked. "You're doing so well. Just hold on."
I don't know if I can. Everything hurts, and the emptiness inside feels like it's eating me alive.
But I hold on. Because he's here. Because he stayed.
The heat breaks just before dawn on the fourth day. The burning fades gradually, leaving me exhausted and hollow. I lie on the bed, too tired to move, barely able to keep my eyes open.
Ryder's still at his post by the door. He looks almost as wrecked as I feel—dark circles under his eyes, jaw covered in stubble, shoulders slumped with exhaustion.
"It's over." My voice comes out as a whisper. "You can go now."
He doesn't move. Just watch me with those intense eyes. "Do you want me to go?"
I should say yes. Should give him the out he deserves after three days of torture. But I'm so tired of being alone.
"No." I curl tighter into myself. "Stay."