Chapter 103 A Goddess Who Needed Rest
Jolie pov
"I don't know what I think anymore." I pull my hand back. "Everything feels confused and complicated."
"Because you're exhausted." He doesn't push. "Both physically and emotionally. You need rest, baby. Real rest."
"I can't rest." I gesture vaguely toward the window. "My father's wedding is coming up soon, there is still so much to do."
"The wedding is handled." Ryder's voice is calm. "Luna and Mara have everything under control, you just need to show up."
"But"
"No buts." He's using his alpha voice now. "You're staying in this bed until Doc clears you. And when you do get up, you're going to take actual breaks between healing sessions. Understood?"
Part of me wants to argue. To insist I'm fine and can handle whatever comes.
But the exhaustion is so deep it's in my bones. And the idea of just resting, of not having to be useful or powerful or divine for a little while, sounds incredible.
"Okay." I sink back into the pillows. "I'll rest."
"Thank you." Ryder leans down and kisses my forehead. "Now eat something. It’s Doc's orders."
The food is simple but perfect—soup, bread, and fruit. I eat slowly while Ryder sits with me, just keeping me company without demanding conversation.
It should feel peaceful. But I can't shake the anxiety humming under my skin.
"She's still here, isn't she?" I finally ask. "Seraphina."
Ryder's expression tightens. "Yeah. She's still here."
"And she's working on Phoenix." It's not a question.
"She's trying." Ryder's voice is careful. "But Knox and Luna are watching her closely. She can't do anything without us knowing about it."
"That doesn't make me feel better." I set down the half-eaten bowl of soup. "She's his family, Ryder. He's going to believe her over us."
"Maybe." Ryder doesn't lie to me, and I appreciate that. "But Phoenix is smarter than he looks. He'll figure it out eventually."
"What if he doesn't?" The fear spills out. "What if she convinces him we're the bad guys? That we're trying to tear his family apart?"
"Then we deal with it." Ryder moves to sit beside me on the bed. "Together, as partners."
"Partners." I lean against him. "You're really trying with that, aren't you?"
"I am." He wraps an arm around me. "It doesn't come naturally. My instinct is still to handle things myself, protect you from difficult situations. But I'm learning."
"I'm learning too." I admit. "How to accept help without feeling weak. How to trust that people value me beyond what I can do for them."
"It's a process." Ryder kisses the top of my head. "For both of us."
We sit in comfortable silence for a while. Then there's a knock on the door.
"Come in." Ryder calls.
Seraphina enters, carrying a vase of flowers. She stops when she sees us together.
"I heard you collapsed." Her voice is concerned. "I wanted to bring you something to help you feel better."
"That's thoughtful." I keep my voice neutral. "Thank you."
"Of course." She sets the flowers on the dresser. "I know how hard you've been working. Everyone's been talking about it. How generous you are with your gift."
There's something in her tone. Not quite criticism, but close.
"Jolie's taking a break from healing sessions." Ryder's voice is firm. "Until Doc clears her."
"That's probably wise." Seraphina turns to face us. "Though I imagine people will be disappointed. So many wolves have come to rely on your healing."
"They'll have to wait." I'm too tired for games. "My health comes first."
"As it should." Seraphina's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Though it must be difficult, knowing people are in pain while you rest."
"Jolie's health is more important than anyone's convenience." Ryder's voice drops dangerously low. "I thought I made that clear."
"Of course." Seraphina backs toward the door. "I didn't mean to upset anyone. I'll let you rest."
She's gone before either of us can respond.
"She's good." I say quietly. "Really good at making everything sound innocent while planting doubt."
"She's had practice." Ryder's arm tightens around me. "But it won't work. We're not giving her any openings."
I want to believe him. But lying here, exhausted and vulnerable, I can feel the doubt creeping back in.
What if I'm not strong enough for this? What if my divine power isn't enough? What if Seraphina is right and everyone's happiness depends on me running myself into the ground?
The light around me flickers erratically, responding to my emotional turmoil.
"Your power is acting up." Ryder notices immediately. "What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing good." I close my eyes. "Just wondering if I'm enough. Divine powers and all."
"You're more than enough." Ryder shifts so he can look at me properly. "Baby, you collapsed because you gave too much. That's not a weakness. That's having a heart too big for your own good."
"Or being too weak to handle my own gifts." The old fears surface easily. "Maybe I'm not meant to be divine. Maybe it was a mistake."
"Stop." Ryder cups my face in his hands. "That's exhaustion talking. And probably Seraphina's words working its way into your head. You are exactly who you're meant to be."
"How do you know?" Tears slip down my cheeks. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because I've watched you grow from the broken girl I rescued into the Luna who ended a war." His voice is fierce. "Because I've seen you face down the Council, heal the broken, and stand up to your own demons. You are divine, Jolie. Not because of what you can do, but because of who you are."
The words crack something open inside me. I bury my face in his chest and cry—for the exhaustion, for the fear, for the constant pressure to be more than I am.
Ryder just holds me, letting me fall apart without trying to fix it.
"I'm scared." I finally whisper. "Scared that if I stop being useful, people will stop wanting me around."
"That's your old pack talking." Ryder's voice is gentle. "They conditioned you to believe your worth was tied to your usefulness. But that's not true. Not here, and definitely not with me."
"Then why do I still feel this way?" I pull back to look at him. "Why can't I just believe I'm enough?"
"Because healing takes time." He wipes my tears with his thumbs. "You spent years being told you were worthless. That doesn't go away overnight just because circumstances changed."
"How long?" The question sounds childish. "How long until I believe I'm enough?"