Chapter 30 Hestitation

Chapter 30 Hestitation
I stood pensive after realized that I have arrived in Kyoto. Along the way, my mind kept going round and round, trying to digest the farewell words Leo said when he dropped me off at the airport some time ago.

"You're really not coming back?"

"Beg if you really want me to come back!"

I tried to breathe, my chest felt tight. I didn't know why I couldn't fulfill Leo's request. I didn't know what kind of ego I am trying to maintain right now that I let my heart suffer that pain again.

"Hana?"

Mr Kiyose called he several times, but my thoughts were still focused on her separation from Leo. Mr Kiyose stood straight in front of me, looking at me longingly and worriedly because I have not given him any news for five days.

"Mr Kiyose? You picked me up? Didn't I tell you not to?"

"I'm really worried about you, let's go home!" Mr Kiyose took my hand and helped me carry the suitcase. To be honest, I could still feel the warmth of Leo's hand the last time we held hands.

Throughout the journey, Mr Kiyose didn't ask anything. He was just silent and his face looked calm. This actually made me feel worried because I knew very well that Mr Kiyose's residence was a bad sign.

He even helped me open the door to my ne apartment, brought in my suitcase and pressed the light switch.

"Mr Kiyose, I'm really sorry for-"

"Leo already told me!"

"Leo?"

"He said that suddenly you were caught in a quite dangerous situation because you met him, so for a while you were under his protection."

"Oh, I see?"

"I don't know what kind of dangerous situation he's actually referring to. But if I could guess, he's probably involved in a chase with the mafia over there."

"Yes, you're right. Honestly, I still can't believe that Leo is living a life like that now."

"He took you to live in one of his mansions?"

"One of?"

"Yes, he probably has two or three mansions and a penthouse in America. But he never wanted to buy a house in this city. It seems like he has no intention of staying for a long time in anywhere. I don't know the reason, but-"

"Because he doesn't want us to be in danger,"

"What?"

"Maybe that's the reason, just like you, I'm just trying to guess. He has hundreds of subordinates, bodyguards, like a group he leads."

"He has no reason to protect us. He just doesn't want to stay here. Maybe that's the life he's been looking for."

I looked down sadly, she was still thinking about Leo. Since everything that happened when I was with Leo, it make me even more uneasy because Leo was far away from me. But I also felt that I couldn't stop Leo.

"Rather than that, what were you doing with him there?" Mr Kiyose approached me sitting on the sofa, lowered his head and looked closely into my eyes.

"I don't think you need to ask again. I also don't want to lie or try to cover it up." I said calmly.

Mr Kiyose smiled gently, kissed my forehead before finally going to the kitchen to make tea. I touched my forehead which Mr Kiyose had kissed, I felt strange. I could still feel Leo's kisses and touches which I enjoyed so much and the image of Leo's face was very hard to forget.

"Impossible? This is definitely impossible, right?" I thought. Tears flowed from my eyes even though I didn't want to cry.

"This is our last meeting!"

The words Leo said before they separated made my heart hurt. There was something in my heart that made it so difficult for me to let him go. The words of love that Leo always spoke clearly from a long time ago were the only thing that make me believe that I was worthy of love.

"Hana? Hana?"

"Y-ya?

"Are you crying?"

Mr Kiyose looked at me confused, I hurriedly wiped my tears. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide anything from Mr Kiyose.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Mr Kiyose, Leo- he said he wouldn't come back to this city again. He wouldn't see me again-"

The more I held back my tears, the more they flowed. I just doesn't want to be abandoned by someone who loves me even though I doesn't want to love that person.

"He said that to you?"

"Mr Kiyose, I think I fell in love with Leo."

"What?"

"I love him."

"Really?!"

"I-"

"Maybe it's not true, you don't love him!"

"But I- I love him so much. I want him back!"

"The feelings you have for him are not love. You just spent time with him, that's why you think you love him. But that's not love, Hana!"

Kiyose tried to deny it, he seemed unable to accept what I had just said about his feelings. I fell in love with Leo? It was clear it wasn't love, I didn't love Leo. It was just a momentary feeling because the two of us had just spent time together.

"Mr Kiyose, I-"

Before I finished my words, Mr Kiyose immediately hugged and kissed me. He couldn't just accept it, he didn't want me to easily give my love to someone.

I was silent, I felt Mr Kiyose's resistance. His kiss felt different, so strong it made me hard to breathe. But when I started to calm down and tried not to fight. He broke the kiss with tears streaming down his face.

"Mr Kiyose? Why-"

"I love you, Hana. Can't you feel it? I love you so much."

"Why?"

"Is that reason that important to you?"

"I just don't understand. Why are we like this?"

Mr Kiyose didn't want to answer my question, he hugged my body tighter, kissing my neck and shoulders. i didn't know how to respond to Kiyose's touch. My thoughts and feelings are still strongly tied to Leo. I wasn't sure if I would be able to enjoy what I was going to do with Mr Kiyose after this.

However, realizing that I seemed to be holding back angered Mr Kiyose. He looked into my eyes, showing his immense jealousy. His eyes looked cold and dark, it scared me.

"Mr Kiyose?"

"I swear I will make you love me, so that you forget the feelings you currently have for him. He won't come back, right? So, I beg you, don't wait for him! Look at me! Just look at me, Hana!"